( CHEERING ) BIG NEWS ON FACEBOOK, YOUR
COUSIN HAD A BABY AND SHE'S NAMING IT MILO!
ALSO, FREE WILL IS AN ILLUSION.
BECAUSE THERE'S MORE NEWS IN THE STORY OF TRUMP CAMPAIGN
CONSULTING FIRM CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA -- A CLASSY NAME --
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THEIR COMPETITOR: OXFORD THINK-EM-UPS.
THEY'RE A BIG DATA FIRM AND IT JUST CAME OUT THAT IN 2014, WHEN
CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA WAS RUN BY BANNON, THEY EXPLOITED THE
FACEBOOK DATA OF MILLIONS BY USING PERSONAL INFORMATION TAKEN
WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION AND USED THEM TO BUILD "PSYCHOGRAPHIC
PROFILES" TO HELP THEM FIGURE OUT WHETHER A PARTICULAR VOTER
WAS, SAY, A NEUROTIC INTROVERT, A RELIGIOUS EXTROVERT, A
FAIR-MINDED LIBERAL, OR A FAN OF THE OCCULT.
( LAUGHTER ) I CONSIDER MYSELF A NEUROTIC
INTROVERT AND A FAN OF THE OCCULT, WHICH MEANS I OFTEN
SUMMON SATAN BUT THEN I'M TOO SHY TO TALK TO HIM.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
"I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
I DON'T KNOW MY SOUL WOULD BE WORTH ANYTHING.
YOU CAN JUST HAVE IT ."
( LAUGHTER ) THE ONLY REASON WE KNOW ABOUT
ANY OF THIS IS BECAUSE OF CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA FOUNDER AND
PUNK ROCK CABBAGE PATCH KID, CHRISTOPHER WYLIE.
WYLIE SAID THE COMPANY "EXPLOITED FACEBOOK TO HARVEST
-- HAD BEEN HARVESTED AT AN UNPRECEDENTED SCALE BUT FAILED
TO ALERT USERS.
REALLY!
THE ONE TIME IT WOULD HAVE WANTED A Facebook ALERT.
PERHAPS THAT COULD HAVE REPLACED ONE OF THE FOUR MESSAGES I GET A
DAY ABOUT MY EX-ROOMMATE'S COLLEGE GIRLFRIEND'S ONE WOMAN
SHOW.
I'M A "MAYBE" SARAH!
THAT MEANS NO!
CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA IS DEFENDING ITSELF ON TWITTER SAYING,
"REALITY CHECK: WE DON'T USE OR HOLD ANY FACEBOOK DATA, AND
ADVERTISING IS NOT COERCIVE; PEOPLE ARE SMARTER THAN THAT."
YES, ADVERTISING ISN'T MEANT TO "COERCE" PEOPLE, IT'S JUST A
PUBLIC SERVICE TO DISTRIBUTE FREE SHORT FILMS ABOUT
AMPHIBIANS WHO ENJOY CAR INSURANCE.
( LAUGHTER ) CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA IS SAYING
ADVERTISING CAN'T CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR LITERALLY ON THE SAME
PAGE IT SAYS, "DATA-DRIVEN BEHAVIOR CHANGE."
( APPLAUSE ) THE SAME BREATH!
YEAH.
IT'S LIKE ME TWEETING OUT, "I COULDN'T HAVE BURNED DOWN MY
HOUSE FOR THE INSURANCE MONEY," WHILE MY TWITTER BANNER IMAGE
IS FLAMEY THE CARTOON FLAME SAYING, "IT WORKED AGAIN!"
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THAT'S NOT THE ONLY
BOMBSHELL.
BRITAIN'S CHANNEL 4 SENT AN UNDERCOVER REPORTER POSING AS A
REPRESENTATIVE OF A RICH CANDIDATE, INTERESTED IN HIRING
CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA.
HERE'S WHAT MARK TURNBULL, THE COMPANY'S MANAGING DIRECTOR, HAD
TO SAY ABOUT HOW THEY TARGET VOTERS.
>> IT'S NO GOOD FIGHTING AN ELECTION CAMPAIGN ON THE FACTS
BECAUSE ACTUALLY IT'S ALL ABOUT EMOTION.
THE TWO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN DRIVERS ARE HOPES AND FEARS, AND
MANY OF THOSE ARE UNSPOKEN AND EVEN UNCONSCIOUS.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS A FEAR UNTIL YOU SAW SOMETHING THAT
JUST EVOKED THAT REACTION FROM YOU.
>> STEPHEN: HE'S RIGHT.
UNTIL I SAW THAT FOOTAGE, I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS TERRIFIED OF
CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA!
( LAUGHTER ) AND CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA C.E.O.,
ALEXANDER NIX, SAYS THEY'RE NOT ABOVE A LITTLE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED ENTRAPMENT.
>> SEND SOME GIRLS AROUND TO THE CANDIDATE'S HOUSE, WE HAVE
LOTS OF HISTORY OF THINGS.
JUST SAYING WE COULD BRING SOME UKRAINIANS IN ON HOLIDAY WITH
US, YOU KNOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
>> THEY ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL, UKRAINIAN GIRLS.
>> THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND I FIND THAT WORKS VERY WELL.
>> STEPHEN: WELL, WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THEM
BLACKMAILING OUR LEADERS, AS LONG AS NO ONE IN WASHINGTON IS
ATTRACTED TO EASTERN EUROPEAN WOMEN... OH, MY GOD!
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NOW, YOU MIGHT THINK IT WAS UNFAIR OF THIS REPORTER TO
PRETEND TO OFFER SOMEBODY BUSINESS, JUST SO YOU CAN
SECRETLY RECORD THEM BEING CORRUPT.
BUT LUCKILY, ALEXANDER NIX DISAGREES.
>> EQUALLY EFFECTIVE CAN BE JUST TO GO AND SPEAK TO THE
INCUMBENTS AND TO OFFER THEM A DEAL THAT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
AND MAKE SURE THAT'S VIDEO RECORDED.
THESE SORTS OF TACTICS ARE VERY EFFECTIVE, INSTANTLY HAVING
VIDEO EVIDENCE OF CORRUPTION PUTTING IT ON THE INTERNET.
>> STEPHEN: SMILE ALEXANDER NIX, YOU'RE ON CANDID CORRUPTION!
( APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW WHAT?
I TELL YA, I BET THIS IS SOMETHING YOU
DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU FEARED UNTIL YOU SAW IT.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) DREW BARRYMORE IS HERE, BUT WHEN
WE RETURN, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE WITH MORE MONOLOGUE.