"DROP THE MIC"!
ALL RIGHT.
SO GIVE IT UP FOR: JAMES "RHYME DESTROYER" CORDEN!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) AND WEIGHING IN AT 90 BEATS PER
MINUTE: ANNE HATHAWAY!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪
Reggie: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
THERE WAS A COIN-TOSS BACKSTAGE --
JAMES WILL GO FIRST.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> James: ARE YOU READY FOR
THIS, HATHAWAY!
>> YEAH, LET'S DO THIS.
>> James: JOSH, GIVE ME A BEAT.
(BEAT) >> JAMES: I ADMIT THAT ANNE IS
BOTH TALENTED AND SWEET AND IT'S HARD TO SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT HER THAT'S MEAN BUT IM'MA TRY MY BEST AND AIR IT
OUT LIKE TANK TOPS AND LIKE HER MOVIE "GET SMART"--
HER RHYMES ARE GONNA FLOP OH.
DID I TOUCH ON SOMETHING A BIT ILL-WILLED?
AM I THE DRAKE OF THIS BATTLE AND ANNE IS MEEK MILL?
NOW IT'S HER TURN TO TRY AND ACT
A LITTLE SCARY CAUSE THE ONLY CATWOMAN
I ACKNOWLEDGE IS HALLE BERRY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (BEAT)
>> A CATWOMAN DISS?
GOSH WHAT DO I DO!
I CAN'T MAKE FUN OF YOU JAMES 'CAUSE NO ONE'S HEARD OF YOU.
NOW THAT I FINALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO SPEAK
I'LL SAY YOUR RHYMES ARE LIKE YOUR RATINGS--
INCREDIBLY WEAK THEY SAY DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY
JOB, BUT YOU REALLY SHOULD I LOOKED YOU UP ON IMDB.
IT JUST SAID "NOTHING GOOD."
GOOGLE "JAMES CORDEN IS" IT SAYS "HOPEFULLY DEAD."
I'M LIKE YOUR WIFE-- I WATCH SETH MEYERS INSTEAD.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (BEAT)
>> JAMES: ANNE'S PLAYING HARDBALL.
YOU WANT TO ACT MEAN?
I'LL LEAVE YOU SHAKING AND CRYING LIKE YOUR "LES MIS"
SCENES.
YOU SAY NO ONE IS WATCHING BUT MY VIEWS STAY CONSISTENT.
CALL ME MERYL STREEP BECAUSE YOU ARE MY ASSISTANT.
THIS ISN'T JUST FOR ME, IT'S FOR THE WHOLE U.K.
MAD AT YOUR AWFUL BRITISH ACCENT IN ONE DAY.
TRUST ME, I WONT LOSE TO THIS IMPOSTER.
IT'S MORE LIKELY THEY'LL ASK YOU AGAIN TO HOST THE OSCARS.
(BEAT) >> BLIMEY, GUV'NAH!
DID ME ACCENT MAKE YA SICK?
ARE YOU ALSO ALLERGIC TO WEARING SUITS THAT FIT?
OR DID YOU GROW A COUPLE SIZES SINCE YOU GOT DRESSED?
YOU LOOK LIKE A KFC BUCKET WITH EXTRA BREASTS.
YOU'RE THE WORST BRITISH EXPORT SINCE SMALLPOX
AND YOU'RE FULL OF MORE [NO AUDIO] THAN A KITTY LITTERBOX.
I SAW THAT ONE DIRECTION GAME YOU DID WITH THE TATTOO
THE ONE DIRECTION THAT MAKES SENSE IS AWAY FROM YOU.
(CHEERING) >> James: THAT WAS ACTUALLY A
BIT MEAN.
OKAY.
I GOTTA BRING IT.
(BEAT) TALK ABOUT MY JACKET SIZE BUT
ANNE THAT WAS A REACH, YOUR VERSE WENT ON AND ON
LIKE YOUR OSCAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH.
ITS HARD TO BE MEAN WHEN I THOUGHT OF YOU SO HIGHLY
BUT I GOT TO TAKE YOU OUT AND ERASE YOUR PRINCESS DIARIES
MISS GOODIE TWO SHOES.
SNATCH THE TIARA OFF YOUR HEAD DE NIRO WAS THE INTERN.
BUT TONIGHT IT'S YOU INSTEAD CONGRATS ON YOUR NEW MOVIE,
"THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS," BUT I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS BATTLE.
YOU CAN KISS MY [NO AUDIO].
(CHEERING) (BEAT)
>> ASS KISSES AND DISSES.
WEAK LINES FULL OF MISSES I'LL BE REAL WITH YOU NOW
SO YOU CAN'T JUST DISMISS THIS.
YOU CAN TRY TO KNOCK ME DOWN ROUND AFTER ROUND
BUT I PROMISE YOU ANNE HATHAWAY WON'T STAY ON THE GROUND
I WAS HATED AND SHADED BUT NOW I'VE BEEN LIBERATED.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY TO LEAVE ME INCAPACITATED.
I'VE HEARD EVERYTHING AND NONE OF IT BROKE ME.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOUR SHOW.
I LOVE CARPOOL KARAOKE.
I'LL BATTLE WITH LOVE AND JOY SO I AM ALWAYS UNAFRAID.
BUT SON -- NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO GET
HATHA-SLAYED?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> REGGIE: WHO IS YOUR WINNER?
IS IT JAMES CORDEN?
(CHEERING) WHO'S WITH ANNE HATHAWAY?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THE WINNER, ANNE HATHAWAY!
>> JAMES: ANNE HATHAWAY, EVERYONE!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANNE AND JIM STURGESS.
COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY!
♪