Hey everybody today on the show it's ask this picture of my boss and this piranha. Wait
what was that? What--oh, ahhhh, oh his teeth!
So in last week's video 'Why do Chicks lead on?' you all hit it out of the park, I can't
even, I can't even see the ball in regard to comments because there were just some gems.
Shantel Gardner, 'Tampon is a French word that literally means plug.' Softfang said,
'You said 'Kenducky Derby'. I love that comment because now I'm imagining a race that I would
want to see which is ducks. I had a follow-up question from 'Why do Chicks lead on?' from
Saapna who said, 'Hey Cristen,'--Hey--'What do you mean about "leading myself on" because
I think I'm always in that boat and I want off.' What I mean by 'leading one's self on'
is that sometimes we allow ourselves to cling onto a fantasy of a romance with somebody
and it's never going to happen. And it's so clear that it's never going to happen, the
person being in a relationship with someone else, saying outright that they don't want
to be with you, never making a physical advance toward you, never wanting to go on a date.
We lie to ourselves that someone's feelings are going to magically change like they do
in the movies and all of the sudden they're going to see us with new eyes and we're going
to be that person that he or she has been waiting for. I have allowed myself to be led
on before and I finally cut the cord. Cutting the cord is sometimes the healthiest thing
that you can do for yourself, otherwise you keep on bypassing other people who could actually
be like really great boyfriends/girlfriends/whatever. So Saapsa if you want to stop leading yourself
on, you let that person or people go. You relinquish the romantic fantasy. Frees up
a lot of space in your brain hole. [Scissor sounds]. Alyssa Fay wants to know, 'Cristen,
I'm junior in high school and over the past year and a half I lost 65 pounds, the popular
girls say I'm pretty and guys around me blush and get flustered but I am never asked out.
Help?' Here's the thing: when I was a junior in high school, guys weren't asking me out
either. I wanted to know what I was doing wrong. And the thing about it is you're probably
not doing anything wrong. You're surrounded by guys in high school. They might just not
know very well how to act around a woman like yourself who has gone through this transformation.
Take it from someone who was seventeen and never got asked out by guys. It gets a lot
better in college. I'm serious. And it's only going to get better from there. What you can
do for yourself though, really enjoy and embrace this new Alyssa, fostering your interests
and hobbies and thinking ahead to college and making sure that you're getting the grades
to get you out of high school and get you into college. Don't do what I did and spend
a lot of energy to try and figure out how to make yourself more appealing to guys. Because
you know what the most appealing kind of woman is? One who's comfortable in her own skin.
I know this isn't getting you a date and I know that desire to get a date so well. Please
believe me that it does get so much better. And finally I've got a question here from
Snow, this is in response to me saying that I didn't really like "chicks". So Snow wants
to know, 'An obvious suggestion but you should do a video on appropriate nouns for female
humans.' I have never done this before on Ask Cristen but I want to time-out on this
and turn it around to you all. I want to know why is sounds so much more casual and easy-going
to call a woman a girl than to call a woman a woman whereas we call a man man casually,
whoa if you called a man a boy. Hmm? And women watching please comment below. What are good
terms to call women. I need y'all's help because I am blanking. Which makes me feel a little
strange considering how much I talk about women. So I'll circle back to that next week
and also you know what, I'm just going to go ahead and say it, my birthday is coming
up. If you have any birthday related questions or any just who, who is Cristen, let me know
in below. The piranha says, 'See you next time, chomp, chomp, chomp.'