♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY, GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND, EVERYBODY AND STAY HUMAN
RIGHT OVER THERE.
LOUIS.
AS IF I HAVE TO ASK.
YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS ENJOY DOING THE SHOW, I ALWAYS LOVE
LISTENING TO Y'ALL BUT TONIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME WHO IS
THERE.
I WANT YOU TO, TELL EVERYBODY WHO IS JOININGS BAND TONIGHT.
>> MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS, MY DEAR FRIEND RACHAEL PRICE.
>> THANK YOU.
THE GOLDEN VOICE.
>> Stephen: RACHAEL, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY.
WE HAD YOU GUYS BACK ON.
OF COURSE I KNOW YOU ORIGINALLY FROM LAKE STREET DIVE, WE HAD
YOU ON THE OLD SHOW, WE HAD YOU ON MANY TIMES.
YL HAVE A NEW ALBUM COMING OUT IN SEPTEMBER RIGHT HERE CALLED
FUN MACHINE THE SEQUEL, RIGHT THERE COMING OUT SEPTEMBER
9th.
>> CHECK IT OUT.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN PREORDER NOW, CAN WE PREORDER NOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: SURE, WE CAN PREORDER NOW.
AND ALSO, ALSO, COMING UP A LITTLE BIT LATER IN THE SHOW,
ICE-T IS GOING TO BE OUT HERE A LITTLE BIT LATER.
HE IS GOING TO KEEP IT REAL.
AND AUTHOR MICHAEL POLLAN IS GOING TO BE HERE.
SO STICK AROUND FOR THAT, Y'ALL.
THANK YOU AGAIN, RACHAEL.
FOLKS, I LOVE TO BE UP ON THE HOTTEST FADS OF TODAY.
I'M SO HIP, MY DOCTOR TELLS ME I MIGHT NEED A REPLACEMENT.
AND THERE'S A NEW TREND SWEEPING THE YOUNGLINGS, AND I'LL TELL
YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN MY TREND: >> STEPHEN COLBERT PRESENTS:
THAT'S YEET.
DABBING ON FLEEK, FAM.
EVIDENTLY, THE HOT NEW TREND FOR YOUNG PEOPLE IS ACTING LIKE OLD
PEOPLE.
LATEST FASHION-SLASH-LIFESTYLE CRAZE SWEEPING TIKTOK IS
SOMETHING CALLED: COASTAL GRANDMOTHER AESTHETIC.
APPARENTLY, COASTAL GRANDMOTHER AESTHETIC INCLUDES THINGS LIKE
WEARING LOOSE, BREATHABLE FABRICS, DRINKING SAUVIGNON
BLANC, SHELLING PEAS ON A CHAISE LOUNGE, AND IS INSPIRED BY THE
PERENNIALLY SUMMERTIME LIFESTYLE OF A BEAUTIFUL OLDER WOMAN IN A
NANCY MEYERS MOVIE.
BUT IF COASTAL GRANDMOTHER ISN'T YOUR STYLE, THERE'S ANOTHER HOT
MATURE TREND MAKING WAVES CALLED FANCY GRANDMA.
FANCY GRANDMAS ARE MORE ECCENTRIC.
THEY HAVE TCHOTCHKES, STOCKPILE SNACKS, AND RELIGIOUSLY WATCH A
TV SHOW THEY CALL MY SHOW.
BY WHICH THEY DON'T MEAN MY SHOW.
ALTHOUGH I'VE LOOKED AT CBS'S DEMOGRAPHICS, AND I'M PRETTY
SURE THEY MEAN MY SHOW.
FASHION-WISE, FANCY GRANDMA STYLE LEANS TOWARDS MATCHING
SETS, AND AN ELABORATE PAIR OF EARRINGS, INSPIRED BY THE GOLDEN
GIRLS AND YETTA FROM THE NANNY.
AND, IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER, THIS IS YETTA FROM THE NANNY.
SO FANCY GRANDMA IS LESS EILEEN FISHER AND MORE IF A SLOT
MACHINE BECAME A PERSON.
THESE NEW GRANDMA TRENDS MIGHT BE WHY, INSTEAD OF GOING OUT TO
NIGHTCLUBS, MANY YOUNG PEOPLE SAY THEY'D RATHER PLAY
SHUFFLEBOARD.
WOW, TIMES HAVE CHANGED.
BACK WHEN I WAS YOUNG, THE HOT THING WAS GOING DANCING AND
DOING COCAINE AND HAVING SEX AND NOT INVITING ME.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE YOUNGER GENERATION IS MAKING
THIS CHOICE.
LUCKILY, I HAVE A WRITER WHO IS ALL UP ON YOUTH CULTURE AND HAS
ASSURED ME THAT SHE HAS FULLY EMBRACED THE GERIATRIC TREND.
SO HERE TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOUNG PEOPLE ARE DRESSING LIKE OLD
PEOPLE IS MY WRITER AND BOARD-CERTIFIED YOUNG PERSON,
ELIANA KWARTLER.
>> HI STEVE >> Stephen: ELIANA, WHAT'S GOING
ON HERE?
>> YOU SAID YOU WANTED ME TO COME ON TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOUNG
PEOPLE ARE DRESSING LIKE OLD PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> Stephen: YEAH, BUT YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE ME.
>> OH, AM I?
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK LIKE IF I HAD A CHILD WITH RACHEL MADDOW.
WHICH IS UNLIKELY FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS.
WHAT HAPPENED TO COASTAL GRANDMOTHER AND FANCY GRANDMA?
>> OH MY GOD, NO.
STEVE, THOSE GRANDMAS ARE DEAD.
I MEAN PASSE, NOT DEAD, THEY'RE FINES.
>> THE HOT NEW TREND TODAY'S COOLEST KIDS ARE LOSING THEIR
DECORATIVE GOURDS OVER IS COLBERT GRANDMA.
>> Stephen: NO, IT'S NOT.
>> OH YES IT IS, GAM GAM.
COLBERT GRANDMA IS EVERYTHING: IT'S GLASSES, IT'S...
DOING THIS WITH YOUR TIE, IT'S TALKING ABOUT SOUTH CAROLINA,
(APPLAUSE) IT'S HAVING AN APP ON YOUR PHONE
THAT TRACKS BIG BOATS, IT'S ASKING ME IF I'VE HEARD THIS
OBSCURE QUOTE FROM A DEAD IRISH POET, I MEAN, IF YOU LOVE THIS
JOYCE LADY SO MUCH, WHY DIDN'T YOU MARRY HER?
>> Stephen: JAMES JOYCE IS A MAN
>> OH MY GOD, THAT IS CLASSIC COLBERT GRANDMA.
( BAD IMPRESSION OF STEPHEN ) JAMES JOYCE IS A MAN
>> Stephen: ELIANA, I'M 58.
I'M RELATIVELY YOUNG, I KNOW WHAT A DUA LIPA IS.
IEMG A NOT, DO YOU HEAR ME, I'M NOT A GRAND PRACTICE.
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
HEY STEVE, JUST CURIOUS: WHAT DID YOU DO THIS WEEKEND?
>> Stephen: WHAT DID I DO THIS WEEKEND?
OH.
THIS WAS FUN.
I CANDIED TANGERINE RINDS >> OH, THAT IS FUN.
AND THEN?
>> Stephen: THEN I TOOK SOME TO THE NEIGHBORS, BUT TOLD THEM I
NEED THE TUPPERWARE BACK WHEN THEY'RE DONE-- AND OH MY GOD, I
AM A GRANDMA.
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?
>> IT'S OKAY, NANA.
HERE, HAVE A HARD CANDY.
>> Stephen: OOH, BUTTERSCOTCH.
YOUNG PERSON, ELIANA KWARTLER, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ICE-T.