Hey Dan here and in this video I'm going to share three tips that will
really help if you are dating an ENFP.
Now if you're already a subscriber there's a very good chance you are an ENFP and so
the point of this video is to share it with someone in your life presumably that you're
dating or maybe thinking about dating it could be a little hint hint for them and to help them
better understand you and perhaps be a better partner in that case as well tip number one
is that ENFPs we love to dream this probably doesn't surprise you if you are currently dating
or in a long-term relationship with an ENFP we are dreamers and I imagine that if you're dating
an enfp at the phase where they are dreaming a lot but not doing as much quite yet that it can
be quite frustrating where you're like okay enough talk with all these dreams like either quit your
job or either start your business or go travel do whatever stop talking about it and i totally
get that that could be quite frustrating you may also find it frustrating that they dream a lot
but don't necessarily put things into action the way you might be someone who's more of a planner
you would take action you would have all the steps that they don't do that and you find
it very frustrating and I can totally imagine that and that is of course very understandable
but one thing you need to understand is that for ENFPs our dreams and the possibilities we imagine
are actually our fuel so I'm someone I would like to say is a doer I've published 11 books
I have a successful coaching practice YouTube channel podcast I've lived in I guess seven
eight countries a lot of countries at this point all things that started as dreams and then I made
happen but there were definitely times in my life where i was just streaming and those dreams serve
as our fuel to get us fired up and to be the source of motivation to then learn the practical
skills so I'm not here advocating that ENFP should live in dream world at all that is not how
we should be and if you do have a partner who's really struggling with that first send them this
channel I hope I can help them a bit but that's not how they should be long-term you know if an
ENFP is 45 and still just dreaming and not doing that's not healthy but know that our dreaming is
the source of our fuel that makes us do as well so don't ever say this to an ENFP something like
hey quit dreaming get realistic get your head out of the clouds do something small just figure out
a little plan and do that first don't do that you just it's like chopping us off at the knees
we lose our energy and our motivation and the odds are then nothing will really happen so
it might be totally different than how you operate it might be very frustrating but just know that we
do need those big dreams to to power us forward but know that as we develop typically in kind
of our late 20s and 30s we should develop a lot more practical skills to actually
implement and do and take action and not just be dreaming it can even happen earlier than that
so especially if you're like in your mid early 20s and you're dating an ENFP and you're like
what is going on it does get better don't worry at the end of the video I'll share one more detail
about this especially important if you are dating an ENFP male and how our psyche tends to operate
the next tip is to understand that our mind changes a lot and we don't do so with mal intent
so if we say something and a few days later we change our mind it's not because we're trying to
manipulate you or deceive you and when you ask us like why did we change our mind and we don't know
we're not trying to be difficult we just don't necessarily know I think this is especially hard
for enfp guys because in most cultures the feminine is about change and evolution and
emotion so it's very acceptable for a woman one day to feel this way and the next to feel that way
and that's societally generally acceptable where men are supposed to be more like concrete hey
here's my path here's my direction I am the non-changing I am grounded and structured
and so there's probably a bit of that in our heads as well where we are feeling these changes
and we're not necessarily remembering like why did I change my mind or why did that happen and then
we're feeling judged by someone saying like why are you changing your mind like you're like a girl
or whatever it is so that probably plays more of a role for us where not only do we not necessarily
always understand why we're changing our mind but then we're feeling judged by it and feeling like
it's not okay for us to be doing that as well and so when you come at us and maybe get upset that
we're changing our mind definitely not helping things along the way now this very naturally leads
us to tip number three which is we are incredible at discussing feelings and emotions just as long
as there's someone else's not not our own that's not our favorite thing this could be confusing
sometimes because you might think hey this person seems really insightful and evolved and they
have all these this love of psychology or clearly talking from my own experiences here and they have
all this you know knowledge of psychology or or feelings or emotions or these sorts of things
but then they're kind of closed off about their own stuff and that can be true for us and so know
that again this is not us trying to be difficult or trying to play games it's just something that
is not always the easiest for us relative to our general interest in people and emotions so it's
maybe easy for you to understand if you're dating someone who's like very concrete and they're all
about the real world it's like yeah that makes sense that person would be not very emotional or
closed off to discussing their feelings but this ENFP is always talking about feelings and emotions
and then they don't want to talk about all their feelings and emotions so just know that that's
kind of a normal thing and you can help your partner work on it and get more comfortable with
that sometimes it's a thing though especially when we're younger that we are still figuring out our
own emotions and how they work and how we actually feel and so having to explain that to someone else
can be extra difficult so I promise I would add one more detail to tip number one about how we are
dreamers and it is this that in our dreams we are always the star we are the superhero and if you
tear that down or don't support it you might as well end the relationship immediately and
this is I think true beyond just ENFPs for many types we want to see ourselves as the hero on
our own journey right and if you tear down your partner's dream on that and say get realistic
you know what have you done in your life so far what are your chances of ever doing that like
i get it maybe you're in a stressful time maybe your partner has been a bit of a bum and really
needs to up their game all that can be true but what is also true is if you tear down that vision
they have for themselves then you basically killed your relationship you might keep dating
for years you might stay married but it's dead i really do believe that and that doesn't mean that
you can't help your partner adjust their views and perhaps work with a coach I have a program
called ENFP Unleashed where I work with ENFPs in the right environment we can help your ENFP
gain a more realistic set of goals and gradually make progress and create the life that they can
actually achieve because if someone's like down here and their vision is here and they're not
making progress the truth is they will probably get stuck here for the rest of their life and I
see that with people so something doesn't need to change but as their partner if you tear them
down and basically remind them of how little they've done or where they're at it just kills
the relationship I believe and so you don't want to do that if your partner does need help look
to someone like me i coach a lot of enfps as i mentioned i have a program coaching enfps or maybe
a mutual friend or mentor or someone's parent or someone to kind of bridge that gap but I think
in a relationship you should always see your partner's most potential and you should empower
them to go after whatever those dreams are and you should see them as their best so they can see
themselves as their best and when you cut them off at the knees and tear that down you've killed that
and I think have killed a relationship so on that terribly uplifting note we'll end here my name is
dan this is Dreams Around The World I publish new videos every week for ENFPs and other idealists
helping you become the best version of yourself and create an awesome life
for you and those you love if you are interested in that program I mentioned you can go to
dreamsaroundtheworld.com/enfpunleashed and read more about it could be an amazing gift
that should be tip number four tip number four if you're dating an ENFP
buy them ENFP Unleashed for the birthday and you will have the best relationship ever
really though I think it's probably your wisest move see you in the next video