- [Narrator] Hey Psych2Goers, welcome back to another video.
Being kind, compassionate, and empathetic
is crucial to your wellbeing and to those around you.
But do you ever start to suspect
that someone may be taking advantage
of these positive traits you have?
If this thought hasn't crossed your mind,
it's still better to stay informed and secure with yourself
rather than feeling doubtful of a questionable
or unsafe relationship with someone.
So with that said, here are six signs
your kindness is being taken advantage of.
(lighthearted music)
Number one.
Emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse is valid and real.
A telling sign of someone being manipulative
and taking advantage of you
would be if they display emotionally abusive
and targeting traits towards you.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline,
signs of emotional abuse include
acting possessive or jealous, refusing to trust you,
constantly insulting or being criticizing,
invalidating your feelings and needs, gaslighting you,
or blaming you for their actions and abusive behavior.
Unfortunately, the list goes on,
and such emotional abuse and manipulation
can also be hard to detect.
Emotionally abusive people feed off power.
They may use their controlling behavior and tactics
to make you feel insecure.
Number two.
Ignoring your boundaries.
Someone who is trying to take advantage of you
will most likely ignore your boundaries and values.
They refuse to accept any limits
you may have set between the two of you,
and continue to push your generosity
for their personal gain or benefit.
They relentlessly reach out to you
to get their specific needs met.
Being in a situation
where your personal boundaries are not respected
can be tricky.
So it's essential to be able to recognize this sign
so that you can take the right action
in getting away from this person or situation.
Number three.
Selective attention.
Selective attention is one of the most notorious traits
of a person trying to use their good will against you.
This person will ignore you
when they don't need anything from you,
but will reappear when they find that they need your help.
This kind of behavior
defines what is known as a yo-yo relationship.
A yo-yo person will come and go
when it's most suitable to their needs,
and only stick around for selfish reasons.
They only have their best interest in mind.
Beware of selective attention.
If you notice this sign in someone in your life,
make sure to remind them of your boundaries
and distance yourself from them.
Number four.
Constant judgment or criticism.
Are you dealing with someone
who is constantly judgmental or critical?
Someone who's trying to take advantage of you
will have selfish traits and self-centered,
narrow-minded views of the world.
Professor of philosophy and author, Caroline J. Simon Ph.D
explains that judgmental behavior can include
having a moral rating system
that is skewed in your own favor,
and making a lot of negative moral evaluations of others,
as well as jumping to negative moral conclusions
about others.
People like this are often threatened
by your admirable traits and qualities,
and consistently try to put you down
in order to make you doubt yourself.
Number five.
Guilt-baiting.
Guilt-baiting is frequently used
when someone is trying to convince you
to eliminate your boundaries, push your limits,
and ignore your core values.
According to professor and author, Preston Ni,
"Guilt-baiting can look like unreasonable blaming
"and targeting the recipient's soft spot.
"Their goal is to hold you responsible
"for their happiness and unhappiness,
"or successes and failures.
"This gives them the ability
"to target your vulnerabilities and weaknesses,
"giving them more power to pressure and persuade you
"into agreeing to their demands and requests."
And number six, victimhood.
Similar to guilt-baiting,
victimhood also gives a manipulator the opportunity to,
as Ni mentions, "Exploit the recipient's good will,
"guilty conscience, sense of duty and obligation,
"or protective and nurturing instincts."
In order to be effective with this move,
this person will deliberately put on an innocent,
helpless, or weak facade
to truly make you believe that they need you
for something that seems important.
This sign can be very hard to detect at first,
but can be a huge giveaway of someone's ill intentions
once you recognize it in them.
So, did you recognize any of these signs?
If you ever find yourself in a serious situation
where your safety is at risk
or you're being threatened or harassed,
please reach out for help.
In the description,
there are links to resources you can access.
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All the references used are added in the description below.
Thank you for watching and we'll see you next time.