Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier.
*blows fantabulous raspberry* Why do I even bother doing an intro for these things?
I've got... *Squeak*...funny videos.
S-s-supposedly, I've got funny videos. Now it's not guaranteed that they're gonna be funny,
But what IS guaranteed is if any of you laugh, I'm gonna come over to your house and I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna
Punch you in the gonads, so don't laugh. And that goes for myself;
I will punch myself in the gonads if I laugh at this one, so...
There's that promise *wink* Okay, whatever. I'm ready. Let's do this.
Oh, wow.
*slightly sarcastic laughter*
I mean well, uh, wuah, uh wait, hang on. I forgot what I was doing here. I FORGOT WHAT I WAS DOING! EVERYBODY, HOLD ON!
THAT DIDN'T COUNT! THAT WAS NOTHING! I FORGOT WHAT I WAS- *static*
Dog's Owner: Heyyyy.
Demonic Witch Voice: FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!!!
*Creepy, dark magic sounds*
Wow.
That's good moves.
*intensely tries not to laugh*
*Normal Face* No.
Woman Driving to Dog In Back Seat: Oh shit, Tyson! We're getting pulled over by the cops! Act cool, act cool!
You can't bring animals in here and expect me to laugh every time. That's not how this works!
Don't do it. Whatever you're doing, don't--
This is not--
Random Guy: HUOUUUEH
Random Guy 2: What..?
*Trying not to laugh face again*
*now with added pain*
Nope.
Oh, no... (oof)
I hope that wasn't permanent. (me too)
*Loud, distorted crashing sound*
Seen that before
Random girl holding doll: GET ME YOU FACKEN MONEY!!!
*song plays*
Always loved that one.
OH!
Son, Driving Car, in pained voice: Oh, my god...
Mom: Motherfucker!
You have the fucking wheel. Yeah, Jr.
Fucking asshole.
Son Driving: What does the wheel have to do with the brake?
Mom: Fucking SHIT!
Son: Calm down, mom!
Calm down.
Mom: This is what I get for fucking listening to you.
What?! What kind of stupid idea...?
What in the world stupid idea is that?! What kind of dumb...?!
What? What are they doing?!
*People in car whooping*
*thinks intensely*
I'm sorry, my brain just took a second to process what I just saw there. Hang on, is that--
Is that one of those what-cha-ma-call-em...
Buggies??? Is that...
That a horse?! Is that... am I seeing this right??? An Amish skier?
Amish skier... buggy- horse and.. all right. I saw it. Yeah, I did.
Oh, no...
*is extremely confused*
Little Kid: Shoot me!
No.
*Bowling ball hits alley*
*Other bowling ball crashing into scoreboard screen*
What?!--
Why?!
Why?!?!
WHY?!?!?!
*Mario Kart Music & SFX*
*Mario Kart Banana Slip & Crash SFX*
*Strained voice* Nooo!
Nope.
No...
Noooo-oh...
*slighty hoarse voice* No...
Bird: Peek-a-boo! (1X)
Peek-a-boo! (2X)
Peek-a-boo! (3X)
Peek-a-boo! (4X)
Mark: I...
Peek-a-boo! (5X Combo Bonus!!!)
That's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. That is so cute. That's so cute. That's so CUTE! That is SO CUTE!!!
THAT'S SO CUTE!!!
I dunno. What is--
Oh--
Uh--
O-h-h-h-h--
*tries not to snicker*
*in hoarse voice* That's amazing. I hope he's okay.
Little girl at top of slide: BAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Goat on roof of barn, in response to Little Girl Braying: BAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
No. No, not like this. Not like this, please! Not like this!
*Clacking sound of dog playing Hungry Hippos to get treats*
That's cute. That's cute. That's cute. This batch has been a lot of cute stuff. A lot of cute.
But it's-- it's gonna catch me off guard 'cuz I'm all
smiley now, and the next thing I know I'm gonna laugh at the next thing I see!
Momiplier Sound-alike Watching From Window: "Uh-oh, you stuck now! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
"Look at the people inside! He-he-he-he-he-he-he!"
"HAH!"
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
"Eh! Hell, no!
That's ingenious! *Kinda slurred speech* That's really smart! The beauty of human ingenuity! That's beautiful!
*Baby Shark song plays in background while people talk, laugh and cheer in foreground*
*People cheer loudly at male baby's victory*
What...
Am...
I...
SEEING?!?!
WHAT AM I SEEING?!?!
*Sniff* Ah, it's a good day.
Kid: OOH LA-LAAAH
*Crash*
*Mark loses it*
*Floodgates of Mark's Laughter opens*
*Breath*
*beginning to laugh harder*
(u ok there mark?)
*Mark comes up for air*
*Begins drowning in his own hysterics, again*
*short inhale*
Mark, through heavy laughter: Oh, my god!!!!
*in stifled voice* I'm gonna die...
I'm gonna DIE! *laughter faucet keeps flowing'*
(*Caption Editor's Note: I think you get the picture.)
*mark literally dying*
I'm gonna die! Oh god, I'm sweating!
Oh god, he's so slow! He's so--
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh god, it's-- it's so slow!
I don't-- I don't know why that made me laugh SO hard!
It's just so SLOWWW!
Okay. I gotta move on, okay. Goodbye.
Mom: Let me see what you have.
Kid: a KNIFE! >:D
NO!
*Mark laughing so hard we can barely hear him*
*GASP*
Oh God, I'm gonna have an aneurysm!!! I'm gonna have an aneurysm!!!
No, this is not fair!
I'm gonna die!
OH! I'm gonna die! Fuck! Oh, god! NO!
Okay, all right. Shut up, there.
*clears throat* Okay. Ah, fuck...
*Clattering sound of rabbit knocking tray of treats off of table*
Rabbit's Owner: My god! *laughs*
*Kung Fu Fighting song plays in background*
*HONK*
Ooh! This person trusted you, you black belt. Oh, well, actually no, that's his killer instinct.
He's just so used to going for the murder that he can't help it.
Man to dog: I love you mr. Bubs
Do you love me too?
*dog growls*
No?
I think he loves me.. :)
Woman: Yah, I got you!
I got this on CAMERAH!
*Hissss*
I think I-- I think I died actually. I'm pretty sure that I'm not alive anymore. I'm in a different plane of existence...
...at this moment.
So... I... um... yeah, I, uh-- *ahem* I will, umm...
Yeah, I'm...I'm basically dead.
Anyway, so this has been the Try Not To Laugh Challenge. Um...
Okay, so I'm 0 for like, what, 20...something?
I'm 0 for 20 now. So, one of these days...
One of these days, I'll get 'em. I'll get 'em-- I'll get em, one of these days. I'll show these videos who's boss.
I'll show...I'll show these videos who's boss, one day.
But thank you everybody so much for watching!
If you got other funny videos you want me to watch, get 'em to me somehow. Watch the other try not to laughs,
I'll put them in the description. Hit subscribe for more videos,
Ring that bell if you want to be notified when my uploads are. Leave a like if you enjoyed it,
Um, sign up for my newsletter
Uh, G-go to markiplier.com...uh, Cloak Brand and, uh, just thank you everybody so much for watching.
Take care of yourselves, and as always I will see you in the next video.
BUH-BYE!