- You've literally given the South a sliver, here.
- It's all it deserves.
- It's all it deserves, Owen. (laughs)
(upbeat music)
- [Announcer] The Northerners versus The Southerners.
Opening statements.
- Ey up.
I'm from Doncaster, and there's only one way
to fairly decide where the North of England starts
and that is simple maths.
So, I've got my trusty ruler,
and we're splitting the country into three.
That's according to my ruler,
the North begins in Liverpool
and goes all the way across to Grimsby.
- I would like to say the North begins above Derby,
because Derby is the home of the East Midlands Airport, no?
Therefore, common sense, right?
- [Announcer] The debate.
- Being from Essex, there's only one way to decide where
the North starts in this country,
and that's to look at Birmingham.
If Birmingham's right in the middle
of the country, that means that anything just outside
of Birmingham to the north is obviously, the North.
(laughs) - Outrageous.
- To me, I'd say the North starts somewhere
between Sheffield and Nottingham.
- Wouldn't you say Sheffield's a little bit high, though?
That's like north north, like you're in the North,
like don't you want to go a bit lower?
- No, because then if you go any lower than that,
you get to like Nottingham and like Leicester,
which is like straight up Midlands.
- I don't know, I would say Leicester is the North.
- I think the North starts from Birmingham up,
because if you're on a compass and the middle,
the second you start going a little bit above the middle,
it's north, so that is why it starts just above Birmingham,
that's the North.
- But then you're just, you're completely eradicating
like a whole section of the country!
- You need an even amount of country
on top of Birmingham as you do underneath it.
So, we got Oxford is probably the start of the South.
And equal amount straight up, there you got it, Sheffield.
- No, hang on, wait a minute,
wait a minute. (laughs)
- I think if it came down to it, right,
the people in the Midlands, if they had
to choose between being Northern and Southern,
they would choose Northern.
- I think you're probably right there,
I think you probably are right.
However, I don't think that's a decision
they should have to make.
- Would you say Nottingham is to the North?
Or would you say it was straight Midlands?
- It's Midlands,
they're all, - But it's the north
of the Midlands.
- The north of London is still London,
what are you talking about?
- No. (laughs)
- If you were hanging up a picture
and I said to you "Right, hang that picture
"in the middle of the wall,"
And then you put it, I don't know,
about a foot above the middle of the wall
and went "this is still the middle."
I'd say "No, you're wrong.
"That's north
"of the middle of the wall." (laughs)
- Once you get to a point in the country
where people start like saying hi to each other on the bus,
you're in the North. (laughs)
Not gonna happen in Cambridge or below.
- Okay, so maybe the question here
isn't a geographical line,
but it's more of a cultural thing.
Maybe they're two different things.
- Loughborough's straight North!
- Loughborough is not north!
- Oh, no, you've lost me here.
- Okay, we're gonna have, we're gonna debate
because Loughborough's not north.
- You got Neapolitan ice cream,
I think chocolate might be in the middle.
You stick your finger in the middle of the chocolate,
everything above the finger
isn't the North. (buzzer rings)
It's everything above the chocolate.
- Isn't Wallace and Gromit from, where are they from?
- Wensleydale?
No, that's the cheese,
I don't know. (laughs)
(electronic music)
- [Announcer] What defines a Southerner?
- Scowling looks.
Tutting when people cut in lines but never say anything.
- Southerners, we get a lot of stick
for being London-centric, which,
I sort of believe is warranted because London
is the best city in the UK, if not the world.
- London, it's the Vatican City of the South, right?
It's got it's
own slightly different, - The Vatican City?
That is really putting London on a massive pedestal.
- What defines a Southerner?
Lot of self importance.
- Oh, God.
- Probably used to spending about 25% more for a pint.
- Terrible sense of humor. (laughs)
- Know the difference between walking on the left
and standing on the right, which took me ages to grasp.
- You people are the bane
of my life. (laughs)
- [Announcer] What defines a Northerner?
- Genuine chip on the shoulder
that they're not Southern, definitely.
- They love a good night out.
- 100% true.
- Self perception of being really tough, hard men.
- It's a bit cold, they never get cold,
they're just used to being chilly.
- Just not as good as a Southerner.
(brakes screech) (laughs)
- Terrible.
How about attractive?
Great sense of humor?
Very polite.
Always says good morning
- Annoying, then.
- [Announcer] Draw the line.
- If I am drawing my hypothetical line
as to where the North starts,
I am starting at Aberystwyth
over in Wales, - What?
- And then going straight through the middle
of the country through Birmingham, straight through that,
through Corby, we're going just beneath Peterborough
and we're going the way through to Lowestoft.
- Peteborough is like an hour outside of London,
that's pretty much the South.
- An hour outside of London, what you traveling in?
A jet?
- North begins from
Chester
to Grimsby. - Ooh.
That's high.
So, I'm gonna say, we're gonna cut across Gloucester,
through in between Nottingham and Oxford,
right across Cambridge, and then up to Norwich.
- That's insane.
- [Announcer] Closing statements.
- I think I'm right because I'm from the North.
If you wanted to ask a person who was Welsh
where Wales began, you'd trust them.
So, I think my lived experience needs
to count for something here.
- But then, I think I'm right because I'm from the South!
It's exactly the same argument.
- It does seem a little thin, doesn't it?
- The ruler don't lie.
If you divide the country intro three,
you're gonna get the truth.
You shouldn't listen to what this
southern numpty over here's saying.
- You're riling me up, you're riling me up, Ben.
But, you are not riling me up as much
as somebody from Norwich who you are taking away
their northern roots from them now.
- Oh, Norwich, Norwich,
get out. (laughs)