Heya playa, have you ever met someone you thought was just out of this world?
They were just so attractive and charming and funny
and just so perfect that you felt like you were in love with them?
But then reality hit.
It made you realize how can you love them, you barely even know them?
Falling in love with someone too quickly is way more common than you think
so I want to teach you exactly what you could do to manage your feelings
and to figure out how to develop and foster them into a potential relationship with that person.
Listen, I speak from experience.
I know what it's like because I've been there before.
Growing up I didn't really get a lot of attention from girls that I liked so whenever
one took the time to talk to me and we had a good conversation I felt like I was falling for her.
The problem is trying to figure out whether or not you're on
the path of a potential romantic relationship or just something else.
Here are five ways to do that.
Number one, accept the fact that one positive encounter
with someone is not enough to truly know them.
You might feel like you both have opened up your heart and your soul to each other
and you're just destined to be together but you need more than one experience to figure that out.
It's easy sometimes to just click with someone.
Maybe you both have the same hobby or you're both in the same grade and you might feel like this
person gets me on every level but the reality is they don't get you and you don't really get them.
It takes more than that one encounter to truly see them in the different stages of their life.
How are they around their friends, how are they when they're alone,
how are they when they're happy or when they're sad.
You might instantly feel that love for them right after that first
conversation but I guarantee as you get to know them better things will change.
Maybe that love will grow or maybe it won't.
Number two, challenge yourself to identify at least three qualities about them that you like.
Now, if you want to make it harder on yourself don't let one of those qualities be how they look.
It's easy to say "Oh my god I love this girl because she's so
beautiful" but what do you really know about her?
Your love is just on that surface level based on how she looks
so if you truly want to test your ability to love this person, are you seeing beyond that?
Maybe they're really funny or smart
or a good friend to others or someone who just has a good value system.
Really take the time to get to know them better beyond just their looks.
Trust me, if you feel like you love them put that to the test and see who their character is.
Number three, never assume that the feelings of love that you have are mutual.
Most of the time when people experience
love especially when they don't know someone that well it's often one-sided.
And this can happen when you have a crush on someone or you
feel like someone may like you just by simply talking to you.
Laughing at your jokes, asking lots of questions,
or even agreeing to hang out with you are all good signs but they're not signs of love.
So, if that person is giving you attention and showing you that they
want to get to know you better that's great but don't mistake it for love.
In fact, challenge yourself by asking them out and showcasing how you feel through your actions
that way it'll be a whole lot clearer what their intentions are and you won't get led down
a road that's going to end up in friendship when you have these deep feelings for them.
Number four, if you're constantly thinking about them 24/7, they are always on your
mind and all you want to do is be with them you're not in love, you're probably obsessed.
And the best way to manage that obsession is to pursue other people.
By putting yourself out there and finding other people you could potentially date
you're gonna start to kind of put this person in context compared to the others.
What you think is love might actually be an unhealthy obsession where you're constantly
looking at their pictures online and whenever they post something, whether it's with another
guy or hanging out with other people you might get a bit jealous or insecure or angry at them.
That is an obsession, that is not love and it's definitely something you should work on.
Which leads to number five, don't confuse an unmet need with love.
Sometimes we meet someone that fills a gap within us.
Maybe it's love we didn't get from our parents or maybe it's a past relationship that really
really tore us down and this person seems like a breath of fresh air compared to them.
Coming across a good stable and caring person can sometimes be rare and you might
feel like that feeling is love when they're actually just helping you heal past wounds.
This can happen with therapists or coaches or teachers or people you idolize online.
You feel like they get you, they understand where you're coming from
and you think that feeling is love when it's actually something else.
What I would recommend doing is
diving deep and truly exploring where your feelings are coming from.
That's going to help you kind of decipher between love and what this
is that you're actually looking for.
All in all, I would just say that love is something that takes time to build.
It's a mutual process you and the other person working together
to truly understand each other to lift one another up.
So take your time in getting to know that person.
Don't rush things because, in the end,
it's going to be way more worth it if you feel like you're both on that journey together.
Now if you're someone that's struggling with pure obsession over someone that you like,
you just can't get them out of your mind, check out the video over there on the screen now.
I'm going to talk more about what you can do to deal with those feelings.
On that note, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.