Hi we're Joel & Lia and today's video is dumb Texas laws! So before we start we're sorry
if the sound is slightly weird on this video, our sound recorder hasn't worked. It's not
working, cool. So I don't know what this is gunna sound like, it's back to the old days!
Brand new, not working, cool. No complaints please. No complaints. Okay, we're not gunna
claim ownership of this, we found it online on dumblaws.com. Well we thought, obviously
everywhere in the world there's stupid laws so we're like well why don't we just try to
have a look, you know, if there's any dumb laws in Texas, we'll just do a few different
ones. I've spoken about one of my personal favourites from London before, which was a
pregnant woman is allowed to pee inside a policemans hat if she needs to pee. And apparently
it's still a law. It's so weird. Can't wait to be preggy and pee in a hat! I wonder if
someone's put it into practice. Oh yeah I bet. Sorry, sorry, give me your hat! I think
it's because the hats used to be tin. Not tin, but like, hard hats and now they're just
like... I think they still are, they still wear the hats like that. Yeah but not as heavy
as they used to be, like policeman now - alright how many years have you been around?! "Not
like they used to be", I sound like a 60 year old woman. Okay, let's crack on with some
Texan laws that are a bit stupid. First law: it is illegal to sell ones eye. That's so
random. But why just eye, surely it should be illegal to sell your body parts. You can
sell your teeth, you can sell your ear lobes, but not your eye. What about both eyes? Coz
it says 'ones eye', it doesn't say it's illegal to see 'ones eyeS'. Oh yeah, it says ones
eye. So it's like, doing a dodgy deal. You can sell both, but don't sell one. Yeah don't
come to me with one eye mate, like what are you doing? That's ridiculous and who would
buy an eye? Yeah, I don't know. It's a bit like the kid in Stranger Things, no, not Stranger
Things, did you watch The End of the F***ing World on Netflix? Because he collects all
those weird things in the shed. Yeah he'd definitely just have like an eye. American
families, I know what you collect! I'm kidding. So another one is "One must acknowledge a
supreme being before being able to hold public office" so basically if you're going to hold
public office, if you're gunna be on the council or a mayor, then you've got to acknowledge
God and say that you believe in God. Which doesn't surprise me, coz Texas is like very
Christian-y isn't it. Oh wow. Just to get a place, just to get a job, you've gotta be
like I'm sorry if I don't, I believe. So even if they don't they've gotta say that they
do. Gotta pretend. Oh that's so dumb. I think that's silly you can just be who you wanna
be, just believe whatever you wanna believe and you should still be able to be a sheriff,
if that's what the job title is! If you dream of being a sheriff and you're not, you should
be allowed to not be one. Have we got any sheriffs watching? Yeah! I'd love to know
a sheriff in real life. I've always wanted to meet a sheriff. My name's Lia, I love cooking
omelettes and I'd love to make an omelette for a sheriff. and I'd love to meet, a sheriff.
it's such a weird fact. Erm, I've always wanted to know a sheriff. Always put me red lipstick
on and give one a big kiss on the lips. Why am I chatting... funny stuff. Why's your book
upside down? That one? That hat? The Lia book is upside down. Lia book...? The book that
says 'Lia'. It says Lia on it?? Oh my gosh, did you not know? No. Are you joking? That's
the whole point, why did you think the pages are folded? Oh, I just thought she did a nice
art thing. I've literally never seen .... How did you not see that? I just thought, 'oh
it's sweet of her to like fold it into a thing' I'm not joking. Show the camera. This is a
book that a viewer gave Lia, where she's folded the pages. You did it on your Insta story
and I was like that's amazing, but you didn't even see the Lia? No I just went "Oh I've
had this really nice gift". Did not see the Lia until right now. Coz it was upside down
on your shelf. Yeah I just put it on my shelf, I was like that's such a cool like art piece...
I had no idea. This is what I have to work with. Joel, if that's your biggest problem
then you're lucky, so shut up. Sorry you think you've got problems? My business partner doesn't
even know her names spelled in a book. Okay she can't see an illusion, get over it! SO
sweet! So sweet! A sheriff would never do that for me. That was from a lovely viewer
from Sweden. Who's not a sheriff. Thank you Joel, I'll put it back correctly. I just wanna
be in your brain sometimes, and just know why you thought a fan gave you a folded book,
you must have just been like why is it folded? Yeah exactly, I was like aww so sweet but
like... so funny! No that's really cool, I was really jealous when I saw it coz I've
seen those online, people pay a lot of money for those on Etsy. Oh wow. Like to have their
name spelled, coz people know how to fold it. And I really wanted one, but clearly the
viewer just likes Lia and not me. But anyway, ONWARDS! Dumb laws in Texas! Sorry guys, he's
dealing with his own stuff. If you're enjoying this video don't forget to click subscribe
and the notification bell so that you know when we're uploading videos. You can be the
first one to watch them. And the poll for today is do you think these laws are real
or are they just having us on? Like, let us know in the poll above Lia's head. It is illegal
to milk another persons cow. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. Imagine that scene, Stop milking
my cow! That's ridiculous, when did that come into law? And why is it still a law? I think
it's coz cows are like peoples bread and butter. Oh it's their property. These are my cows,
I make money off of these guys, don't you dare milk my cow. What if it's to stop pickpockets,
but they're like pick-teats, pick-udders, and they like to squeeze it into their mouth
and run off and you're like that is illegal. Just need a drink. Just need a little squirt.
eww that's gross! That's so rank. But Lia's dairy-free so, you would never do that. Oh
I would never milk another persons cow. Only just if the cow wanted it. It sounds like
a euphemism, milk another persons cow. It sounds like I would never sleep with your
wife. I would never milk your cow. Hey, do you wanna come milk my cow. I've got a lot
of respect for you Joel, I would never milk your cow. Oh thanks so much. But actually
this maybe makes sense because Texas are big on cows aren't they! They like cattle herding,
the cowboys, they catch the cows. Oh yeah, they're big on cows they are. So that makes
sense! This cow is our cow, don't go near it and don't even think about touching it's
tits. Literally. Don't even think about it. Don't give the tits a squeeze. Okay this is
weird, it can't be true, but it's on dumblaws.com so maybe it is. It says that a recently passed
anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally
or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime that is to be committed. What? How
can they even enforce that? What? I don't - say it to me in English. So they require
criminals, they're like, look if you're gunna commit a crime, before you do that you need
to give you victim 24 hours notice to tell them why you're about to do that to them.
You're kidding! So if I wanted to burgle you, I'd have to be like hi Lia just so you know
I am gunna burgle your house and the reason I'm gunna do it is because I really like your
computer so I really want to take that for myself. No criminals are gunna do that! I
would've loved 24 hours notice in Paris, I wouldn't have gone. I would've not made the
journey. Hi Lia, just so you know, you're gunna be in a hotel lobby, I'm gunna steal
everything from you, so just watch out. So does that mean if they report it to the victim
before they're about to do it that it's not illegal? Coz what's the incentive to say that.
Yeah, so they could be like, he stole my cow. and He'd be like no I'm not going to prison
coz I wrote you an email yesterday saying I was gunna do it and you didn't stop it from
happening so.... you'd have to write an email back saying okay if you're gunna attempt to
do that, just so you know, I'll be standing by with a gun. No wonder they all want guns
in Texas. I would want one. Where the criminals are literally saying hey I'm coming, watch
out! The next one is the entire Encyclopedia Britannica, is banned in Texas because it
contains a formula for making beer at home. So is it illegal to make beer at home in Texas?
I think it stops them from going out and buying it. This is just all assumptions. This just
reminds me on The Simpsons where they made their own beer in a bath tub. And they were
like mixing it. What do they call it? Not Moonshine, that's something else.... Moonshines
like super strong spirit I believe, then I've got that completely wrong. Bootleg? Is that
what it is? I dunno but you felt like it dropped in. I'm just making stuff up. Bootleg in a
bath. So our Encyclopedia, we think that's our encyclopedia, we're not sure, Britannica,
sounds like us is banned in Texas so, anyone got one? Do you want us to send you one? We
can send you one. We'll break the law, but we're not American citizens so we can break
the law. Yeah we'll break some laws for you and then you guys need to write a letter saying
"Joel & Lia are gunna send me this thing which is illegal so don't even try" You could do
it orally though so we've done it orally. We've done an oral... we're about to commit
a crime. Let's stop there. So the next law is, when two trains meet each other at a railroad
crossing each shall come to a full stop and neither shall proceed until the other is gone.
That just means no train is gunna go anywhere. Right, so they get there to where trains cross
and it's breaking the law if one of them goes. So how do they make the decision? They stop
and get out and have a chat. That's really backwards, they should just have made an agreement
24 hours before, orally saying like look I'll go first. But do you know what, I don't wanna
be responsible for any lives so.... don't take my word for it. How do you think it would
be if we were responsible for laws in Texas? I think we could make Texas even better than
it is right now. Well what would you do? Well firstly I'd take away lots of these laws,
we'd be really fun law makers. Oh yeah like burgers on a sunday only. And then I'd do
some unpopular ones as well because I quite like to be a bit controversial, so I'd be
like vegetarian Tuesdays where it's illegal to eat meat on a certain day of the week,
just to reduce everyone's meat consumption. That's fantastic, saving the planet and saving
Texas. Vote for Joel Wood. Let us know why you think of my laws. It's illegal to take
more than 3 sips of beer at a time while standing. It basically means you can't drink at the
bar if you're stood up, like go and find a seat hun. Coz maybe like once you've had 3
sips of beer, you're gunna get drunk so sit down. really? Maybe? I mean that would be
the same for us because we're lightweights, 3 sips of beer and we're gone. I'm getting
a bit better, 3 drinks now and I'm gone, whereas before, 3 sips used to be dangerous. Drink
responsibly. Okay so the last one, is that it's illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from
the second storey of a hotel. Very specific. That's so weird, but you can do it from the
first or third, fourth, fifth, but not second. Where has this come from? Someone must have
done it from the second floor and they went it is now illegal to shoot buffalo, it should
be illegal to shoot buffalo anyway. Let alone from a hotel. It's very odd, I'm sure this
is not very regular. Oh definitely because I know we've got like the policemans hat,
we've got weird laws here which aren't ever really enforced, but I think these are just
ones that have never been taken out of the law so technically they still exist. Oh I
love that. I love little things like that. It's what makes the world go round. Yeah,
really gets us off. We love all this. So if you enjoyed this video don't forget to subscribe,
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have grandkids that could teach you? Do you say Iowa, how do you say it? Did it say it
weird? Yeah, that's gunna be fantastic. I say Iowa, coz that's how they say it. I know,
when do we ever hear the state Iowa, no only occasionally on telly, it's not like I'm doing
an Alabama. I deliberately say Alabama instead of Alabama but I don't deliberately say Iowa.
It was so good. Everyones gunna hate me in the comments, no it's fine darling, it's okay!
Get over it darling, it gets them commenting. Yeah it's true. Anyway, hope you enjoyed,
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Okay, we digress, sorry! Goodbye! Bye Iowa, toodle-oo Texas! What's your favourite alcohol?
Sambuca. is it? I love it so much! Loads of people hate it. Yeah I know
whenever I suggest it, people go ew no Tequila, can we try black sambuca I've heard that that's
really strong? really?