I was recently involved in a conversation about products that make your vagina tighter.
It's become a trendy thing to have a tight vagina and a lot of marketing is targeting
the insecurities of women who feel inadequate in this area. The other people that I was
having this conversation with were all also sex coaches and it was absolutely beyond the doubt
obvious to all of us that a tight vagina is not something good, healthy or desirable. Yet,
so many products are sold with exactly that promise so let me tell you today why in fact
a tight vagina is not a good thing and what you should desire instead. My name is Helena Nista
and I am a sex and intimacy coach. I make videos about great sex, legendary pleasure,
about passionate relationships and Tantra. And I would love to invite you to subscribe to my
channel and to become a member of my YouTube family. The society imposes a lot of stigma
onto women who for whatever reason feel like their vaginas aren't tight enough. For example,
women who gave birth might perceive their vaginas as stretched and they are usually recommended to
perform Kegel exercises to increase the tone of their pelvic muscle. But there's also a lot of
negative association around a "loose vagina" meaning that if you cannot squeeze his dick
inside of you like a motherfucker then you've had too much sex, your vagina is loose and hence
you're a loose woman not worthy of respect. So women either go crazy with Kegel exercises or
they invest in products that promise to make their vaginas tighter. Both approaches are flawed. Now,
don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with good old Kegels. And in fact I do recommend them
to some of the women I see. There are muscles in the pelvic area and they should be worked
and exercised just like any other muscles in your body. But if all you do with your vagina is
tighten it and squeeze it, you are going to create a lot of and constriction and reduced sensitivity.
And that's not going to make sex pleasurable or fun. So instead of striving for a tight vagina,
create a flexible vagina instead. And the difference is profound because you see, that
delicious tightness that he is experiencing inside of your vagina when you're making love is not
caused by your strong pelvic muscles but by your engorged erectile tissue. When a woman is aroused,
her genital area swells with all the blood that is rushing in and it works in a similar way to a
man's erection. When a man is aroused, the blood is rushing in and his penis gets hard. In a very
similar way women get erections as well, they're just less obvious than men's erections. When
she is aroused, all the blood that is rushing in fills up the erectile tissue in her genital area
and what that looks like is when you look at her vulva, her genital area becomes sort of swollen
and darker in colour. But what you don't see is all the erectile tissue that is inside of her,
surrounding her vaginal walls. So when a woman is aroused, she becomes naturally tight because she's
engorged. And that's a good thing because that kind of tightness creates more sensitivity, more
lubrication and a lot more pleasure for her. But if she is struggling to get aroused and when she's
not engorged, and she's trying to squeeze her pelvic floor muscle instead, that will actually
create reduced sensitivity and constriction and tension and even a degree of numbness. So creating
tone and fitness in your pelvic area absolutely needs to go hand in hand with creating openness
and relaxation and sensitivity. And one of my absolutely favourite techniques for doing that
is my Breath of Passion technique which I describe in detail in my Orgasmic Empowerment course. But
there are many different ways to cultivate that kind of flexibility and sensuality,
with the easiest one being simply placing your full attention in your pelvic area and just simply
relaxing it with awareness, with each breath, relaxing the area a little bit more and more. So
please, let's stop chasing tight vaginas! They are not healthy, they are not receptive and they are
not sensitive. Instead, let's create and cultivate vaginas that are open and sexy and capable of
healthy arousal and amazing pleasure. Please, share with me your thoughts on this topic in the
comments below. And let me know if you'd rather have a tight vagina or a flexible and sensual
one. And if you would like to learn more, please make sure to check out my Orgasmic Empowerment
course for women which is full of techniques for creating that sort of openness, sensuality
and sensitivity in your body and in your vagina. Have a fabulous week and I will see you next time!