Hey everybody. Happy Thursday!
Now today is just a traditional FAQ video, because I like those and I think you like those.
And if you do, give it a thumbs up!
And if there's something else you want me to do, let me know in the comments.
And I also do, just for the record, like coffee and a chat,
and I have a good one for next week that I'm saving in my document right here.
So make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss it.
But let's hop in today's question, because it's a good one.
It's one we haven't talked about before and the question is,
"Hey Kati, Is it possible that a therapist can become attached to the client?
How do therapists handle that?"
And I thought this is a great question because the answer is yes.
Therapists can become attached to clients.
But that's actually not a good thing.
Now I don't mean it to say that you can't care about a client, you can't really want them to succeed.
I'm not saying that at all, because that is honestly something that I feel should be true for most of your clients.
You should like them somewhat enough to really want them to succeed and really want them to do well.
And you can get really excited about the things that they do that you've been working on forever.
And you can kind of celebrate together.
That's how therapy is supposed to feel, and the relationship is supposed to feel really easy.
And I know that the work you're doing is really difficult.
But the relationship with them should be really easy from both perspectives.
From the therapist and the client.
However if I find myself way too attached.
Meaning, I worry about them when I'm in my regular daily life,
I want to get in contact with them more than normal,
I try my hardest, I do things that I normally wouldn't do
like spending extra time with them and like pushing the boundaries of therapy.
It actually becomes really unhealthy for the client, not to mention the therapist.
But remember therapy is all about you the client, so I find that what's usually happening there is a little bit of transference.
And I'll put the description of transference down below
But transference is really when I'm putting something that
I'm dealing with or someone that I know or a situation I've been through, onto you as the client.
And it's actually a big big no no.
And there's also countertransference.
There's all sorts of things that happen in therapy and all those are bad.
And so as therapists, as people trained to manage this, we are supposed to see our own therapist.
We're supposed to consult, and if we can't get it under control,
and we find ourselves unethically and unhelpfully attached to our client,
we actually need to refer them out.
And that could be from many various reasons.
I mean I personally have only had to do this once, that I can think of off the top of my head.
And that was because it was too bothersome for me, because some of the things they were working on in therapy with me
were things that I was working on in my own therapy.
And I struggled to like disconnect the two, and I would try to put my own stuff into it.
And I was fighting it all the time, and so I had to refer them out.
But a lot of people end up having to refer people out, and we usually know this pretty quickly.
So don't worry if you're in therapy, and you've been in therapy for you know many years and it's been working.
Chances are your therapist is fine, and everything is fine.
But as those of you out there training to be a therapist or those you who already are.
If you find yourself unhealthfully attached to your client and kind of getting too emotionally involved,
where it's not really clinical anymore and now it's like friendship.
And you know it feels more casual.
That's something that you should consult with, you should talk to another one of your colleagues.
I have a whole group I go to once a month to talk about all things therapy.
Things I'm struggling with, cases that may be more difficult.
Find something like that, talk to them, get it under control hopefully.
And if not you know, have some good referrals on hand.
And legally and ethically we are supposed to give at least three referrals. Just remember that.
If you don't click with the therapist. If you cancel or terminate or that therapist doesn't have any room for you,
Usually they don't have to if they don't any room for you.
But if they've taken you on as a client.
If they're leaving and referring you out, you get three referrals.
And they're supposed to be ethically, referrals where people are still taking new patients.
They're someone in the same area.
All of those things, so that it makes a transition easy for you.
I hope you found this helpful.
I know that this is something a lot you have been wondering about.
And leave your comments below.
Are you a professional and you've had this happen?
Or are.you a client, and you've been going through this?
What are your thoughts on it? What are your feelings?
Share your experience, because that's how our community grows and helps one another.
And that's why I love what I do.
And I will see you on Monday. Bye!