The hardest obstacle was myself i started realizing more and more and more
that all these people were gone what was haunting me was me i can't control my dad i can't control
the people calling me i can't control all these things but they were things that kept me down
it started becoming my reality my reality was what they made it out to be and i became my own
the most important conversation you'll ever have with your life you know in your life is when you
have yourself and my conversation was absolutely horrifying what were you saying to yourself
i'm dumb i'm nobody my dad i mean my dad was great in mental warfare a drunk insecure man
will make everybody around him feel like hell yeah because he wants to give you no power
and that's why he was so mean to my mom and myself and my brother because he didn't want anybody to
get above him he want to keep you down low so when you're growing up with all of this stuff
all this hate it it wasn't the beatings i could hit the beatings all day it was a mental torture
so when at a young age your your parents put a dialogue in you of confidence
or you're nobody so that voice in my head was i'm a loser and then it was confirmed when i got in
school and in third grade i was falling behind they want to put me in a special school yeah you
know with kids you can't learn right then it was confirmed what you know what my dad was saying so
that confirmed it then i started cheating so i started realizing you know what i'm taking the
easy way out again yeah and it started snowballing from there now now the kids are calming
but it wasn't all the kids so what happens is
you start to get this picture that everybody hates you because your reality becomes so so big
that you don't you i mean you can't see the clear picture it might have been three or four
doing it over and over right but it was the whole town yeah everybody hated me so the world hates
me that's right yeah and that's when it that's when it became toxic and that is where i became
my worst demon what was the greatest lesson your mom taught you growing up honestly the greatest
lesson she ever taught me is a lesson that she she doesn't know how much she taught me because she
wasn't much in the teaching mode my dad took her soul but what i did as a young kid as i observed
everybody i wasn't really smart in the books yeah but i was real smart when it came to life yeah and
i was able to sit back and watch her mistakes i was able to see how she struggled through life
and how i don't want to struggle through life and i was able to see she never picked me up the
biggest thing she did for me and this is honest to god truth and she doesn't even know she did it
when i would bust my ass that would fail yeah when i was at the bottom of the sewer she never
picked me up she never gave me that cookie and said hey son you know it's gonna be okay
she didn't have time for that and sometimes she gets upset when i talk about my past because it
pains her out to be not the best mom if i had any kind of mom in that kind of environment
i would have never made it because she forced me for every reason she forced
me till you better figure this out or you're going to be a statistic and this is something
that she didn't sit down and tell me i realize this this is the world that is in front of me
and what most people do is they see this world and they look at it as an excuse to get out of it yeah
i started looking at it as this is the ultimate training ground for the rest of my life
i have all these valuable lessons because if you look at the world right now today
it's not a nice place but i'm very prepared for it i'm prepared for all the failure coming my way
i'm prepared for everything my way and that's the biggest lesson that she taught me by not teaching
me by never saying it's going to be okay matter of fact she told me the exact opposite life sucks
we believe like so many people before i give them a workout plan let's talk about recovery
everybody everybody that hears me speak they want to go straight to recovery
work out first work out first before you talk to me about recovery how to recover yeah
work out first we are always looking for like whenever i talk to people people take my words
and they and they and they put it in a way to where they want to feel comfortable this guy
you know they they they want to put you in a box they want to put a title on you
no you're putting a title on me to make yourself feel better about yourself
if you read this book of mine and you see where i came from this person with this person was not
built this this this person was not made by god this person sorry this person was built i made
this person i made this person by diving into the insecurities that life gave me because now
they're yours they're yours to own if you're not smart call yourself dumb it's okay because you are
but take that knowledge you put yourself down if you're fat clary's so fat i used to be 300 pounds
we we want to talk so soft to ourselves we're looking for that recovery day
and that recovery day is everything in your life everything in your life is a recovery
day we're looking for it it's not coming it's not coming get over that recovery day
and that's the mentality i took with me and what happened through that process was all the
frivolous things of life started to float away i had to tell people lies so they would like me
because i was so insecure when you start to build yourself up
and start to have the one thing that we don't have is confidence real authentic confidence
from hard work everything else goes away you no longer look to other people for your self-esteem
validation you now know i walk in the room now and i know that hours and years and decades
i put into david goddess that's some it's not on the wall it's not a trophy on the wall it's not
a male around your neck it is actually a feeling in your heart and people why don't you ever smile
i don't have to yeah i do have a stoic look at my face i'm a very focused person but the
feeling i have in my soul and my heart that's why i need to smile i don't need to smile
i don't need you to look at me and say oh my god you look happy because half of us aren't happy
right we're giving you something that we think you want to see i don't do it anymore i don't
care how you perceive david goggins because through my journey i figured out the one piece
i was missing i thought it was cars i thought it was women i thought it was i thought it was
my i thought was everything the one piece i was missing was me having the courage to face myself
and once you do that on a daily basis it's not about the running
work people are going to be just about working out where i got my work ethic from
was the hours i had to spend learning this when you sit down and you're not smart you
have a disability yeah and you still want to be at the top of your class i didn't want to get by
when i realized that i can learn do hard work and i can beat the valedictorian in school but
i got put in 10 hours more a day than he does you know what kind of strength comes from that
when you're sitting down that guy that that valedictorian study for an hour
and you know i caught you i caught you and i am dumb but i have the work ethic to catch you that's
where david gaga's got really invented yeah he was at a kitchen table with 20 spiral notebooks that
were empty and then three months later yeah they were full and you can go through that i still have
them in my storage unit you're going through these spiral notebooks of your life and you realize this
is how i learned this is unbelievable there's no miles it's not about the miles it's that having
a discipline every day to say for me to learn this one math problem could take me 10 hours
and that's where it and you realize through hard work you can do you can out work anybody
you got to start diving into those things that you are afraid of
you don't gain confidence by going to the spot that makes you feel good
it could be a false reality in the second life gives you that challenge all you want to do is
go back to what made you confidence or or or what gave you confidence is that happy spot
no what gives you confidence what gave me confidence was spending years at a kitchen table
trying to learn how to read and write on my own realizing i can't learn the way you learn i can't
but i can learn what gives you confidence not being afraid it's overcoming the fear
isis stutters severely bad so right now i don't know how many people are going to watch this
you know what gives me confidence is knowing i no longer care if i sit or start stuttering
to you yeah that's what gives me confidence is facing these things overcoming them and maybe
not overcoming them every day but facing them and facing their face and preaching like this
you know what man this is where it's at it's not in that comfort zone it's in the discomfort zone
is where my confidence is getting built that's where it's getting built but people
want to they want an easier answer yeah there has to be an easier way there's not i'm sorry