(Siren)
How could anyone hate Star Wars,
one of the most popular,
and arguably most important,
piece of science fiction that still
holds up even 30 years later?
However, the creator of Star Wars on the other hand
George 'I like to ruin everything' Lucas
is widely hated for 2 main reasons.
1, he made the abomination
prequel Star Wars movies
and 2,
he went back and fucked about with the perfectly fine
original trilogy by adding in unnecessary,
really bad looking CG scenes.
So let's start with the prequels
which was a time for George Lucas
to take the helm directing once again
which he had not actually done
since the original Star Wars film.
He had full control over every little thing
that happened in the prequel films
and it's probably why
they turned out such abominations.
No one had the balls to go up to him and just say
'what the fuck are you doing?'
I fear to think what the original
trilogy would have been like if he'd had the same
amount of control that he had over the prequels.
Right, now let's quickly run through each prequel film
and briefly describe why I think they're awful.
Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace
one of the most hyped films ever
and it was awful.
Terrible script, too much CG, completely boring,
too long, awful acting,
whole scenes that make the original triology make
no sense,
and don't you dare say 'oh the pod racing bit
was really good though.'
No,it only stood out as being good because
it was something actually happening in the film.
Episode 2 Attack Of The Clones
sequel to one of the most awful films ever.
Also boasts a terrible script, too much needless CG,
is completely boring, is too long, has awful acting
and completely ruins characters from the original trilogy
Episode 3 Revenge Of The Sith
terrible sequel to the awful sequel that was a sequel
to one ofthe worst prequel movies ever made.
And you guessed it, terrible script, too much CG,
completely boring, too long, awful acting
and completely contradicts most of the things
that happen in the original trilogy.
It's almost like Lucas just didn't give a sh*t.
Oh wait, he obviously didn't.
He completely lost the skill of how to work with actors
and focused way more on shoving references in like
'hey look it's Yoda flinging around with a lightsaber
isn't that cool?'
'Hey look it's C3P0 and R2D2
really badly thrown into these pointless action scenes.'
'Hey look it's the worst line in cinematic history.'
Darth Vader: Nooooooooooooo
IHE: The charm and authenticity was just completely lost
the humour was forced,awful and badly written,
nothing worked.
I like the effects in the original trilogy
the CG just doesn't hold up now
it all looks too fake and clean.
Now I know some people actually do like the prequels
amazingly and, while I don't understand it myself,
what I will say is that if you took
the title of 'Star Wars' away from the prequels
they would be just some pretty mediocre
space opera films with some
cool action scenes here and there.
But the fact that we're supposed to believe that these
are in the same universe as the beloved original trilogy
is what drives me crazy.
And as if that wasn't bad enough,
Lucas just had to go and mess with the original films.
'Hey, let's take all the original films
and add loads of pointless CG
and then make the original versions unavailable
so fans literally have no choice
but to put up with all this (beep).'
Ugh
F*cking hell.
These CG versions of the original films have actually
spawned one of the worst shots
I have ever seen in a film
and I've seen quite a lot of films.
Take a look at the original scene from this film.
Simple and to the point.
Now look at this special edition bullsh*t version.
He decided that putting some kind of creature
right in front of the camera would add something to it.
No, first off the CG is terrible.
It is completely distracting,
and how are we even supposed to know what it is?
So Kiteman, what do you think of George Lucas?
Kiteman: Well, I think he is a -
IHE: Ok now Aquaman!
Kiteman:Huh?
Kiteman: (Screams)
(Sound of body hitting floor)
IHE: Oh sh*t. Did you really need to kill him?
Whatever, the prick deserved it.