find your purpose to finally quit porn i'm Dr. Trish Leigh thanks for joining me back here on
day eight purpose okay so i would be remiss if we didn't talk about purpose in this program because
you hear me talk you've heard me say it probably hundreds of times now that the way out is to find
your purpose in terms of your work your relationships and your hobbies so today i
just want to define and think about purpose just a little bit to inspire you in your journal to think
about what really is your purpose you your purpose not the purpose that other people have programmed
you to think is your purpose but authentically way down deep inside of you what's the thing you've
always wanted to do and if we can have you do that in your vocation your work that would be amazing
if you can't create that in your vocation you can absolutely create that in your avocation which are
your hobbies so let's break that down a little bit today and set you off on your way to begin
to evaluate what your purpose is now there's a caveat and i'm going to make a video on this but
the caveat is self-awareness can be low if you've gone into the screen consistently and frequently
when you're going into the screen that's all your brain thinks about so you know i talk to people
all day every day who tell me all i think about is sex so sex is not your purpose that is a coping
mechanism so when you start to leave the screen behind that brain pattern's going to unwire and in
there is going to be your purpose and i encourage you to be able to look at it and to feel it so
that you can figure out what it is because once you start thinking about that and you get fired up
about how to create that in your life you're not going to need to go back into the screen
okay so purpose purpose is that special thing inside of you that you've been wanting to do
forever we're going to talk about your inner child in upcoming lessons but that little kid in you
what did he want to do what did he want to be how did he want to spend his time
that's what i want you to think about so from the beginning of time i've wanted to be able to
think about concepts that are unique and slightly intense and be able to help people be the best
version of themselves using these forward thinking concepts and cello here i am doing that i've been
doing it since i had the courage to be able to look inside myself and say what do you really want
to do trish and i'm going to share with you in just a minute how i got there and it's partially
because of our reading our book that we have here for our offensive plan turning pro so we're going
to get there in a second but thinking about what your purpose is how do you want to spend your days
what do you want to do for your work now the reason that's important is because when you figure
out what you really want to do you're jazzed up to get out of bed each day and to go do that thing
you're not dragging yourself out of bed to go do the thing that you have to
every day becomes reframed that you get to do that thing today not that you have to do that thing
today and the same thing in your relationships when your relationships are awesome don't get me
wrong they take work but when they rock you're excited to see your people each day when i wake
up i am glad to see the hubs even though he's annoying sometimes right i'm annoying sometimes
but we crack up about it i'm psyched to see my kids and we have a blast together and of course
it's not all roses and sunshine and rainbows and unicorns but at the core of it very very enjoyable
and hobbies i love to be able to spend my free time doing the things that i like that's what
i want for you so in your journal today i want you to think about what's the one thing that you
would love to do for work if you're not doing work that you love here's how you're going to get there
you're going to write down all the things that you love to do and especially if you haven't
done those things in a while because you're busy working at a job that puts food on the table and
i get that for sure and if you're busy like you know arguing with your partner because you're
tired from the job that puts food on the table and you're annoyed by your kids because you have one
ounce of energy by the time you get home or you're irritated by your roommate or your girlfriend you
know so rethinking these things if you could get up to go be paid to do one thing today
what would it be because everything is monetizable it might not be monetizable tomorrow but you can
get there if you want to first you have to know what it is so think about what you'd like to do
spending your time on purpose now think about your relationships too i know that you might be
wanting a relationship you might not have one what is the ideal relationship that you would like to
bring towards you and i'm a pragmatic optimist you're not going to sit around and wait for this
relationship to knock on the front door and you know come in like unfortunately you're training
your brain happens by going into the screen that's not how it works in the real world you're gonna
have to get out there in your hobbies and start meeting like-minded people so that attraction
can brew over time that's the pragmatic part the optimistic part is that it absolutely can happen
if you put yourself in circles with other people that like the same things that you do they're
gonna have very similar energy to you and when you clean your energy up by not going into the screen
literally when you make your electromagnetic field better and positive to attract instead of negative
to repel you are going to attract a partner towards you the same thing with the partner
that you have when you go into the screen you're literally negating the electromagnetic field
around your brain and body you're making it so that it's negative we know when you go into the
screen it puts your brain in these extremes of too fast and too slow those energies push people away
when you're in the middle you're in the optimal energy field that pulls people and opportunities
towards you it's the law of attraction so you can heal your relationship by healing your
brain and then of course taking some steps to rebuild you know rekindle the fire there
and then think about your hobbies what do you like to do this is going to be very important
because we've already talked about saying goodbye to porn and the holes that are going to be left
when you no longer spend a lot of time and energy thinking about sex and thinking about porn
you are going to need other things to think about put your energy towards give you dopamine in your
brain and to fire you up about life in the real world we don't want a life of drudgery
nobody should have a life of drudgery you totally deserve to have the life that you want and you can
have it you can have it but you need to know what it is so we're going to identify what is that life
what does it look like where do you go for work that feeds you and makes you money who are the
people that you hang out with that feel good to you and what are the things that you go do
to have fun offset stress to be engaged in the world and to be fired up about your life so each
day you want to wake up and embrace it that is your purpose now here's another thing that i
want to tell you your purpose is different from every single person's in the entire world even
if it looks similar there's no comparing ourselves to other people we're going to be done doing that
we're going to stay in our lane and think about what you're trying to create regardless of what
other people are creating intentionally in their lives or are doing by default in their lives when
you're focused on your own game then you stay focused and you stay happy and excited and enjoy
okay so let's go back to the book turning pro for a minute i found that book when i was moving from
buffalo new york uh where i never wanted to be i never felt like i fit in there i never felt
like i fit in with my family of origin and never felt like that's where i i would say all the time
i was born in the wrong place this doesn't feel right to me and we moved to north carolina but
what was important at that time and you'll read it in the book he talks about a shadow life and that
when you turn from amateur to pro you're coming out of this shadow existence into your authentic
existence and my shadow existence was one of a university professor which i loved and i was
great and i was making a lot of money doing it but it always felt shadowy so to be able to transition
from that shadow life into an authentic life i had to leave those comforts behind and we've
talked about when you go into the screen it is providing you comforts i had to leave the comfort
of security i was tenured they basically couldn't fire me no matter what i did but i always did good
things i had been promoted i got a big pay raise that i never actually saw in a check because i had
the courage in the face of fear to say to myself and everybody else who told me i couldn't do it
literally the people in my world said you can't move five kids two dogs and two cats and get two
new jobs in a different state far away and what do you think i said of course with courage fighting
through fear i said oh yeah watch me and i did it and i left that job where it had that comfort and
i created my own businesses in my pro life instead of the shadow life that i comfortably was in
i encourage you to explore that today so that you can create it for yourself everybody can do it i'm
not unique i'm just figuring it out and trying to help other people do that too because when you hit
that sweet spot you're in flow and you know how i feel about the concept of flow mihai chick sent
me high is the researcher who studied flow when you find your purpose in everything you're doing
even brushing your teeth can make your brain go into the brain boosting mode
so you can find brain boosting mode all day long in your work and your people and your routines
and it keeps you in that sweet spot of flow where life feels good you're contributing you're
bringing towards you all the things that you need when you find your purpose and you connect
in that way everything you need will come to you okay so go journal that and meet me
tomorrow for day nine i'll see you there and until then control your brain or it'll control you