- The fresh prince gets therapized.
What do you do when you feel,
or are unwanted and unloved by your own family?
I'm Jonathan Decker with Mended Light. Let's dive in
(upbeat music)
Now for those of you who aren't as old as I am and weren't
around the Fresh Prince was a sitcom in the nineties,
starring Will Smith. It's iconic.
And today we're going to break down the most iconic scene
in the series. No, I'm not talking about the Carlton.
(dance music)
No, I'm talking about the episode where Will's dad
comes back.
So, the show as explained in the opening credits.
A teenager from Philadelphia
♪ Born and raised ♪
moves in with his cousins,
his aunt and uncle in Bel Air.
He's from the streets, they're
upper-crust, upper-class and there's a lot
of tension and conflict.
And most of the humor is between Will and his Uncle Phil.
- Good night.
(hand slaps)
(audience laughs)
- Now after 14 years, because Will,
was largely raised by his mother
after his dad left,
Will's dad reaches out,
comes back into his life and spends several days
with his son,
several fun-filled days with his teenage son and Will is
so hopeful.
He always wanted a relationship with his,
with his old man.
And he felt for years that his dad left because of him.
Because he was unwanted and unloved and unlovable.
And so connecting with his dad, is for Will, it's healing.
So, Will's dad is like, come stay with me.
Let's go. Let's go live together.
Let's go cross country together.
And Uncle Phil is trying to warn Will
your dad isn't reliable.
Don't get your hopes up and Will is very hurt.
And he lashes out at Phil at his uncle.
And then sure enough on the day that Will
and his dad are supposed to leave together,
his dad changes his mind because he's got
some money opportunity he's going
to go chase instead of building a relationship with his son.
So, this is a bit of a longer clip,
but it's worth it.
Grab your tissues.
This is at least a three hanky scene.
- Lou, if you walk out of Will's life now,
don't you ever come back.
- Sit down.
- I ain't got time for no lecture.
- I said, sit down Lou.
- Also the voice of Shredder on the Ninja Turtles, cartoon.
Strong boundaries by Uncle Phil.
- You know, Will was doing just fine 'til you showed up.
But now that you're back, you have responsibilities to him.
- Look, we're still going to take the trip.
- Oh, bull. Bull!
Will is not a coat that you hang in the closet,
then pick it up when you're ready to wear it.
His life goes on.
He's not supposed to be here for you.
You're supposed to be here for him.
- You get off my back.
You think I want this?
It just happened.
Now when Will was a baby, I was scared-
- Cut the crap, all right!
Cut it.
- 'Cause I been there.
But I didn't run out on my family.
I was there every day for them because
that's what a man does.
- Fine, Philip! You win. You the man. Eh,
You a better man than me.
(Phil sighs)
You happy?
Now you gonna tell Will or not?
- I'm not going do your dirty work for ya.
- I'm gonna pause this really fast.
When he says Will is not a coat that you can just pick
up and put on and then hang it up,
whenever you're done with it.
You know that, he's not supposed to be here for you.
You're supposed to be here for him.
Maybe some of you watching today,
feel like your parents see you as
you're supposed to be there for them,
or it's a relationship of convenience.
Or maybe it's not a parent.
Maybe it's a person you're dating.
Maybe it's someone you're married to.
Maybe it's a friend or a family member and it hurts!
Let's keep watching.
- Fine. Oh, I'll call him from the road.
- Yeah. Why don't you do that.
- Yeah, I'll do that.
- Daddio.
W'as up?
- Will, Man, I'm glad you're here.
Some business came up. I gotta handle.
So, we're going to have to put our trip on hold.
You understand?
- Yeah. Yeah. That's cool.
It's just for a couple of weeks.
- Mhm. I understand it.
- He knows his dad's not coming back.
(Lou chuckles)
- Maybe a little longer.
- Yeah. Whatever, whatever.
- Look, I'll, I'll call you next week and we'll iron
out the details.
- Mhm.
- Okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- He knows.
- It was great seeing you, son.
- You too. Lou.
- Not calling him Dad, no more.
- Yeah. Yeah, um.
- Some strong writing on this.
- I'm sorry. Will.
- Puh. You know what,
actually, this works out better for me.
You know the slimmies this summer come to class wearing
next to nothing.
You know what I'm sayin'.
- Will, It's all right to be angry.
- Hey, well, why should I be mad. For saying,
at least he said goodbye this time.
I just wish I hadn't wasted my money buying
this stupid present.
- I'm sorry. I, you know,
if there was something that I could do-
- Hey, you know what you ain't got to do no, not'in,
Uncle Phil. Ey,
I feel like, you know, ain't like, I'm still five years old,
you know?
It ain't like I'm gonna be sitting up every night asking my
mom when's daddy coming home.
You know? Who needs him?
Hey, he wasn't there to teach me
how to shoot my first basket, but I learned didn't I?
Ay, I got pretty good at it too, didn't I Uncle Phil?
(Will laughs)
- Yeah, you did.
- Got through my first day without him. Right?
- Hm.
- I learned how to drive. I learned how to shave.
I learned how to fight without 'im.
I had 14 great birthdays without him.
He never even sent me a damn card.
To hell with him!
I didn't need him then. And I don't need him now.
- Will-
- Nah, you know what Uncle Phil?
I'm gonna get through college without him.
I'm gonna get a great job without him.
I'm gonna marry me a beautiful honey.
And I'm have me a whole bunch of kids.
I'm a be a better father than he ever was.
And I sure as hell don't need him for that.
'Cause ain't a damn thing,
he could ever teach me about how to love my kids!
How come he don't want me, man.
(Will sniffles)
(John clears his throat)
- If you are unwanted, unloved or you are loved,
but they're doing a terrible job showing it whoever they is.
They are, you like every other person on this planet
are a beautiful creation
with strengths and weaknesses and your
your weaknesses don't cross out your strengths and
they don't make you have any less worth than anybody.
Your worth is set. Your worth is eternal.
And no one can take that away.
Some people fail to see it. Some people fail to show it.
What I love about this and how they hug at the end
is recognizing that sometimes family is a family
that you choose. It's the family that you find.
It's a family that you create. It's your community.
You don't need to change or be different to be accepted.
Now I'm not saying,
there's differences between changing
to be accepted and growing
to be a better person and
to better serve and connect and level
with other people and to love yourself more.
But, you don't need to change to be accepted.
It's about looking for the people who see you,
appreciate you, respect you and want you.
That's your family.
And if it's not your blood family, I'm truly sorry.
But you could still find it and you can still create it.
In my opinion, the best way to start.
If you're lonely, if you're sad,
if you're hurting is to look for other people
who are lonely, sad, and hurting and introduce yourself
or show concern or interest in their lives.
Look for solutions with them if you can find them and
if not, just be there for them.
I had a, my parents were great to me.
I didn't have this problem.
My older brother, with whom I'm very close now
that we're grown men and mature.
But, when we were kids, he was a bully.
He was awful.
I was bullied, horrifically all through elementary school,
through most of middle school.
I tried out a lot of different groups
trying to see where I fit in.
And I acted like those groups just because I wanted
to belong somewhere.
Then I realized, you know what?
I'm sad, I'm lonely.
And I see these kids who are sad and lonely,
sitting at lunch.
And I started to just like talk to them,
started to make friends with them, started to form,
and we started to form this group.
This group snowballed from a handful of people
at the beginning of high school to 250 people.
We had a huge group at the end of high school,
big group of kids because people wanted to stop pretending.
We were very much, come as you are.
And you know, a lot of people helped me to create that.
I loved high school because I had a lot of close
relationships and I had a lot of close relationships
because I created a community and a family.
And not just, I don't want to say I created,
we created a community and a family,
Uncle Phil becomes Will's, I mean, they're blood family,
but basically becomes Will's father. His father figure.
If you don't have the home that you want,
the family that you want,
if you don't have the love that you want, don't give up.
So, this has been Fresh Prince gets therapized.
I'm Jonathan Decker with Mended Light.
If you enjoyed this,
I want to invite you to check out Jim and Pam from The
Office, get therapized.
It's another real tear-jerker.
Actually I bawled in that video.
Very gut, Very vulnerable on camera.
So, enjoy that.
If you like what we're doing here at Mended Light,
please like, subscribe, click the bell,
share with your friends and please shine your light
to the world because we need it. And so does everybody else.
I'm Jonathan Decker. I'll see you next time.
(jazz music)
Here comes Jim and Pam, Pam and gin,
Pam Beasley and Jim, PB and J
Oh, what a waste?
What a waste.