There are many parenting styles as there are people
but many of these styles can be divided into broad categories
such as narcissistic
authoritative
and authoritary
Today we're focusing on narcissistic parenting.
What is a narcissistic parenting style?
Narcissitic parents tend to be very possesive over their children
and this parenting style is sometimes also referred to as helicopter parenting
Narcissistic parents often feel threatened by or even envious of their child's growing independence
consciously or unconsciously, these parents believe that the child is there to fulfill the parents wishes and needs
You might think of the certain pushy kind of soccer mom or pageant parent
This parental behaviour can have far reaching effects on the child
One
Self blame
Children of narcissistic parents often think that they are the problem
because the parents only pay attention to their child's mistakes and their own problems
the children start blaming themselves
This can also function as a self preserving mechanism to hold out hope
They think
if I fix myself the situation will get better
If I do well my parents or carers will be nicer to me
Children that have been raised with a narcissistic style often have trouble dealing with their feelings
and can get very emotional over minor ocurrences
Two
Insecure attachment
You might have heard of the attachment theory
which attempts to describe the dynamics of interpersonal relationships between humans
A large part of the attachment style is determined by the relationship children develop with their caretakers
There are three main types of attachment
Secure
Anxious or insecure
and disorganized
Narcissistic parenting often results in insecure attachment which has two subtypes
An insecure avoidant style is characterized by an avoident nature where children think
I'll never risk letting myself get hurt again
The other subtype is an insecure anxious attachment
which is characterized by an attitude that more or less chases after the secure connection and causes children to think
Why don't they like me?
Why won't anyone pay attention to me?
Three
Extreme emotional independence
Some children might react to narcissistic parenting by abandoning emotional attachment all together
They grow into solitary, distressing adults
and have difficulty forming close personal connections
Four
Extreme nurturing
Some children might even go the complete opposite way
turning into extemely nurturing individuals
This could possibly be caused by an unconscious desire to vicariously experience the care and warmth they didn't receive themselves
Five
PTSD
Children that have experienced an extreme form of narcissistic parenting often struggle with these results for life
in the form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
They might have invasive thoughts of emotional abuse
experience severe emotional numbness
or undergo other symptoms of PTSD
This effect is particularly prevalent among children
that also experience physical abuse
Six
Becoming narcissistic
This is an extreme case of
if you can't beat them
join them
Some children raised by narcissistic parents react by thinking
I'll make sure I become so good at everything
that nobody can make me feel unimportant again
People who do this go to extremes to focus on themselves and their own achievements
becoming narcissistic themselves
And those are six major effects of narcissistic parenting
Have you ever experienced narcissistic parenting?
How do you think it affected you?
If you'd like, you can share your story in the comments below
Thank you for watching
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