sorry this week is the disease formerly
known as the corona virus as Tim said is
it okay that the Olympics might be
canceled this year due to Coe bid 19
let's be honest if this was an outbreak
movie you would write a plot in which
the Olympics became the catalyst for a
disease spreading worldwide I'll tell
you what though if it does go ahead the
hundred-meter World Records going to get
broken if they replace a start and gun
with someone caught in
but it's not just the Olympic Games that
are affected a Paralympic bachi test
event was canceled today in Japan so
this could be the first games in which
Paralympians Skype in their events just
do everything in his orb except fencer
fencing is going to be fine
[Applause]
women's we go into Japan yeah yeah I
thought my biggest worry was going to be
using the chopsticks now got this it's I
don't know I think it's hard to know how
seriously to take this because it hasn't
happened like it would in a movie
because in a movie you see news reports
from all around the world in different
languages and you see cuts of people on
the street and we're not getting we need
a montage we haven't had a montage so
it's hard to take it seriously but
here's the thing okay I've said it's
like an outbreak movie I'd like to read
you the basic plot of the movie outbreak
okay here we go a deadly virus is
discovered in a far-off country the the
virus takes on flu-like qualities and
becomes airborne infecting large groups
of people in mass gatherings the
government tries to cover it up they
can't find the animal that caused it and
a doctor working on the front line dies
meanwhile authorities try to stop the
virus becoming a pandemic that is pretty
much where we are in the movie by the
way I've looked ahead in the plotline
here's what's going to happen next
Dustin Hoffman and Cuba Gooding jr. are
going to get in a helicopter Donald
Sutherland gonna find missiles at them
Rene Russo will find the cure and Kevin
Spacey will be caught spying on teenage
boys while dressed as a prosthetic leg
like it's hard to know how seriously to
say it because I've just looked on
Twitter just before coming on the show
hashtag Cory is the number one trending
topic and it's not as a nickname for
coronavirus so no one's overly scared
but just in the last hour three Italian
footballers have tested positive of a
corona virus but in getting with Italian
footballers it's hard to know how
seriously to take as more British
schools are closed because of the virus
spare a thought for the people trapped
in a hotel in Tenerife with their
children who've been there for a while
now oh my god thought that I mean any
anyone who's been on holiday with their
kids when it's raining it's bad enough
let I've been in Tenerife at the moment
and you can see the fun outside what can
we do about it personally though this
weekend well Boris Johnson said dealing
with the corona virus is the
government's top priority and he proved
that by calling a cobra meeting for
Monday it sounded emergency if he says
we'll do it in three days time you can't
just start Monday it's not a diet tena
rate but there are a whole bunch of in
HT NHS tips that have come out over the
last couple of days genuinely they
include don't touch your face keep your
hands away from you you know nose and
mouth and got worried about that there
notices I was just touching my face it's
very hard not to do but don't touch your
face in case I catch off myself in case
you picked up the germs on your fingers
and then you put it up on your face and
in your mouth and in your nose
basically this weekend get off your face
I've been saying when you wash your
hands to make sure you wash for the
right amount of time sing the song happy
birthday twice it's a long time do you
know what I did that I did this earlier
when I went to the loo I remember this
and I thought okay I can I can tell you
right now there is nothing sadder
being on your own in a public toilet
washing your hands at the sink going
happy birth Inge is to sneeze into your
elbow and rather than on your hands if
you sneeze just go like this and your
elbow can this is also our play
peek-a-boo coronavirus testing
drive-throughs that you can try to turn
get yourself tested so what you just
drive up and say your symptoms I guess
is it they could combine it with the
McDonald's one so like if you've got
temperature you ever McFlurry what you
don't want to hear is the assistant go
please don't drive through to the second
window how are you both feeling about
coronavirus I'm a bit yeah don't want me
to swap with him I've got enough
problems I can take it yeah you think
you would cope if you had to self
isolate I think it would be brilliant to
be away from my two-year-old I just
watch Netflix and drink why why do I be
near this last week and I downloaded
football manager for the first time in
about ten years
yeah I it's the best time wasting game
you can ever for anyone who doesn't know
you just imagine foot with him on a game
sounds off is sad hey Olli
it's brilliant how you getting on free
seasons in the forest green yeah I'm on
the brink of a chop I think oh yeah yeah
to lost the playoffs well again I
managed to win the Champions League of
Huddersfield can I go into isolation
season ah it was like ten season in bit
you need to pay for - this is the scene
in the outbreak movie montage where they
show the people that aren't taking us
you