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Joe Bereta.
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Ladies and gentleman, today we begin our journey
through Comment Commentary with the video
Robb Stark is a gold digger.
Oh, we're jumping in with some Robb Stark.
He ain't nothing.
How you guys feel about that?
Richard Madden.
He's so handsome.
Mr. Handsome face.
Now, Steve Zaragoza and Joe Bereta
left me behind to make a friend.
Including me too.
It's fine.
And I'm not going to say I was jealous,
but I was legitimately jealous.
Yeah, I was legitimately jealous.
We were jealous.
I'm upset.
I made proposal signs.
I made a whole bunch of-- will you marry me?
Oh my god, me too.
That's so funny.
Well, did you use sequins or just glitter?
No, just glitter.
Really?
And did you spell it?
It was rose petals.
See I went just straight Y-O-U with it.
Will you marry me?
I didn't just do the letter.
Damn.
Did you guys hear how Steve and him are actually,
like, best friends?
Yeah, that's crazy.
Well, Steve-- well, we went and we interviewed, or hung out
with him at the Klondike Premiere.
He's like a baby, like a Fassbender.
He's so handsome.
He is.
Here in LA-- and then there was another one in New York,
and Steve just happened to be in New York,
and his publicist liked what we did with the video
so much that she called Steve and was like,
hey, come to the New York premiere.
Why not?
And Steve went and apparently it was massive.
And Richard Madden made eye contact with Steve
across the room, jumped out of his little circle,
and he was a little bit on the happy juice I think,
and just like ran to Steve and was like, Steve I love you.
Oh, Steve, oh, and he was whispering in his ear
for like 10 minutes.
Like when you guys went to Comic-Con
and I had to celebrate my anniversary and I couldn't go.
Oh, you were so upset about that.
And you guys came back and you were like,
you know what was great, Elliott,
at Comic-Con And I was like, well, you know,
we went to the restaurant and--
We slept in my trunk.
Elliott-- and Joe did sleep, and then you
know what Joe also did?
He slept in his truck until I snuck him upstairs into a hotel
room and he slept in some girl's hotel room.
It was Tricia's.
It was Tricia's at the time.
I went to go work and then I slept in a parking garage.
He slept in a parking garage.
So on that note, FredXWeasleyXForever
said when Richard said the thing about how
the injuries on his wedding ring finger are an omen,
my first thought was the red wedding.
Oh.
The red wedding was not an omen for anything.
Spoiler alert.
Man, the red wedding was an oh man, my God,
what just happened?
So dumb.
Oh man, my God?
Look at these.
They're socks.
LonewolfM16 said Joe, what are you talking about?
LonewolfM16 said Joe, what you're talking about
is a flail, not a mace.
Yeah, I confuse them.
A mace is basically a flail without the chain usually used
to smash through thick armor.
And yes, flail were incredibly impractical and rarely used.
You guys know that guy.
Yeah.
Nailed it.
Whatever.
I still contend that a sword would be superior,
because it's quicker--
I still contend that--
Well, shut up.
If you know what a flail or a mace is, bravo.
Go back to your LARP.
LARP LARP.
Go back to your LARP.
Go get your agility points and boots, bitch.
And bring me with you, because I would really enjoy, I think,
a good LARP.
Yeah, I did like it.
So when I was a kid, I was always like,
I'm never going to lose my imagination.
And then I promptly lost it.
Yeah, completely.
With a vengeance.
With LARPing and all that stuff, there's a wall.
There's a barrier that I could pass through
and I could get back to the imagination realm.
When you do though, it's just going
to be like all hell's broken loose, and we'll be like,
oh my God, we lost Elliott.
I am the lord of darkness.
He's like, I am the lord.
Hizzah.
Tom Bomba-- bim, bop, Bombadil.
Quest with me.
It's a hobbit thing.
Tom Bombadil.
Tom Bombadil said the solution to that whole phone problem
isn't to get rid of phones, it's get rid of smart phones.
I'm 23 and I'm totally rocking an LG flip phone.
I've never taken it out in public even if I wanted to.
What can I really do?
Read old text messages?
Wow, dude, good for you.
We were talking about things that we
would get rid of, like one normal thing.
Yeah, and you said phones.
And we said phones.
I know because I watched that SourceFed video.
Oh, you watched it like 10 times because he is pretty
[INAUDIBLE].
Do you have a YouTube channel?
I think he should, right?
I want to collab.
He should be really doing some other things, like, you know--
Since he's on one of the greatest television
shows ever in existence.
Yeah, he needs a YouTube channel.
He needs to get time.
No.
Worst police sketch ever.
So, a police sketch was released of what
can only be a Muppet man.
I will say, I got a tweet that some guy was like, oh my God,
my friend looks like that guy.
And his friend legitimately looked like the guy.
I was like, that's pretty hilarious.
We asked you guys to let us know some of the police
fails that you know of in the comment section down below.
NotADoctor1996 says, so I take it
the suspect list has been narrowed down
to Karl Pilkington--
Pilkington.
--Pilkington, or an aged Charlie Brown on crack.
Looks like the boys down at the precinct
will be knocking off early today.
It really is fascinating what they even thought.
They were like, just go for it.
Any of us could have drawn that.
Yep.
TheSpunkmunky said, it looks like that painting of Jesus.
Yeah, it looks like wolf Jesus.
I love the wolf Jesus.
I don't get passionate about news stories,
but that was one of the funniest things that's ever happened.
The lady tried to fix the painting.
She was making it worse.
It was just the worst.
It was like Andre the Giant.
I kept thinking when they were going to cut to that lady,
she was going to have these horrible coke bottle glasses,
and be like, did I do a better job?
She was just a cartoon character herself.
Did you guys ever wonder if you were
to commit a crime or a murder or something,
how people would describe you to a sketch artist?
I think about that all the time.
I'm like, what would they say about me?
Would it look like me or not?
I guarantee I could not describe anybody to an amazing artist
to the point where they could be recreated.
I know, but yet--
Yeah, especially not with a crime situation.
I feel like they know the questions to ask though.
They'll be like, what's up with the nostrils?
Did they flair?
And people can remember minute details.
So they asked about every minute detail
and then from that they get a sketch.
I don't know.
I'm totally guessing.
Well, here's the thing though.
There's people that I've met multiple times
and I always forget their name.
And I always say, well, I never forget a face,
and that's not true.
I forget a face.
I forget so many faces to the point where they are like, hey,
and I'm like, hey.
Hi, do I know him?
I have Facebook friends that I couldn't describe.
Oh, I went through my Facebook friends the other day
and I was like, I don't know--
Half of these people.
Elliott Morgan, I would be like, thicker eyebrows,
a broader face, put Rachel Maddow, right?
I don't think I look too much like Rachel Maddow.
Like a more vertical Leonardo DiCaprio, or like Ryan Gosling
if he had more sass, or a Fassbender,
if he had a little more sass.
Do me.
Oh, OK.
You'd be like--
Let's see, if you ask about his mouth, what would you say?
Mark Wahlberg I would be like, it's
like a [BLEEP] eating grin.
You know what though?
You have the jaw line of an Affleck.
Yeah, you do.
You really do.
Do I?
Oh, you do, with bluer eyes, an elf nose,
let's all to be honest.
You suspect somebody murdered a shelter full of animals.
What did he look like?
Like an all American guy with a beard.
He looked really athletic.
He looked like he loved chunky potato soup.
Oh, his hair grows out of his head in every direction.
That's like the most accurate thing anybody's ever
said about me.
What we're saying here is mug us, you'll get away.
Yeah.
1995philipireland says, I was walking down the street
on a cold winter's night when a police
car pulled up next to me.
The officer rolled down his window,
looked me up and down, obviously thinking yeah, this guy will
know, and said excuse me, have you
seen a stray cow walking around the streets tonight?
I then got a warning for laughing
too hard at the officer and wasting police time.
Best night ever.
Dude, I'm not kidding.
If I was a policeman, I think I'd do that prank constantly.
Come up and be like, hey, which way did the aliens go?
Don't [BLEEP] with my time.
Which way did the aliens go?
That's why we definitely chose our career path
and they chose theirs.
He was trying to find a missing bovine.
That was that guy's job that night.
But that's like my hometown.
He went through the academy.
He wanted to make a difference and he needed to find Bessy.
Bessy.
That cow went down a wrong path in life.
He's trying to mug somebody.
Somebody else is trying to explain
to a sketch artist what that cow looks like.
Describe that cow.
Well she had heroin, so much heroin on her,
and she was just peddling it to kids.
What was it, like a male cow or like a female?
It was a female.
What kind of color orientation did that cow have?
Brown, it was just a brown cow.
How now, brown cow?
OK, damn it.
Don't waste my time.
Don't you waste my time.
Candy Crush.
Candy Crush trademarks candy.
I think you said Candy Crush trademarks candy.
Candy Crush trademarks candy.
The makers of the popular game Candy Crush Saga
are trademarking the word candy and trying to ruin the world.
It's true.
We asked you, what are you addicted to
and what would you trademark if you could?
What would you trademark if you could?
Oh, that one guy.
Two different questions.
I know.
Hey, I know.
I know.
Can't trademark cocaine.
That One Guy says, I'm addicted to YouTube.
I'm literally subscribed to over 100 people.
That crazy.
That is crazy.
I think I might hold a record.
My favorite channels are probably of the SourceFed ones.
Probably?
Yes or no, That One Guy.
Yes or no?
Make your decision.
Make it.
Devon Crandall said, I would trademark my first name.
There's a lot of Devon's out that make my name look back.
Yeah, well there's a lot of linking
verbs that make your sentence look bad.
Am I right?
Come on now, there it is.
There it is.
I'm sorry, is it hot in here?
Because I think I just set that person on fire.
Oh, boy.
Oh, wow.
Little toasty in there, because you've been burned.
Oh wait, hold on, I read it wrong.
I'm sorry, is that a combination lock or do
I need to put a key in it?
Because I just locked you away, my friend.
Put you in a box.
Can't get out, no you can't.
Are you lower than you were before?
Does your face hurt?
Because you just got smacked down.
Got a little put down.
A little put down right there.
I think are you having software problems in your PC?
Because I just shut you down.
I did.
I shut you down my friend.
I did.
You had a typo so I typecast you into not knowing how to talk.
You know what I'm saying?
Are you going to word services?
Because you just got verbally abused.
Oh, I think you just got verbally abused.
I think you just got verbally abused.
And you know what, that happens.
You got to look.
You gotta look.
All right?
You typing with nubbins?
Somebody cut your fingers off?
Were they making the salad and your fingers
were part of the ingredients?
They just diced them up and put them in there?
That's how you're going to go one of these days.
What?
You're going to be doing a physical bit
and you're going to snap your neck in half.
Just dies.
He just dies.
Joe's comeding again.
Get up, Joe.
I love when he does this-- Joe?
He severed his spinal column.
The best too is the amount of time
it would take somebody from laughing.
Fit Joe.
Joe.
Joe?
It was pretty funny though, right?
Yeah.
TestSubject1090 said, I would trademark the word dinosaur
and only Lee could use it.
I'd feel bad because I'd be using in wrong constantly.
It'd just be, I like dinosaur, and then paleontologists
would to be like, um.
What are they going to do?
Eamon Labron said, if I could trademark porn,
I would watch the world burn beneath me.
Wait, what?
What?
I do not think you know trademark means?
I do not think you know what he means.
Things that I've been addicted to
in an online sense, online cribbage.
I've spent hours upon hours listening to various music
and just decimating people in online cribbage.
Blackjack.
You guys don't even know how to play cribbage.
Well, I don't know what cribbage is.
A lot of blackjack.
I have an addictive personality.
Do you have an addictive personality?
I went to Las Vegas and I came back
and I played blackjack on my phone for two months straight.
Really?
But I'm going back again in March,
so I'm hoping to reignite the fire.
Candy Crush, I was genuinely addicted to it.
That's not even a lie.
She was candy crushing all day.
I was candy crushing all day every day.
My wife was candy crush addicted and she had to wipe her phone,
and she was on level 170, 80, something like that.
Took her a long time to get there.
Yeah, that's a lot of work.
And she wiped her phone and she lost
all of her Candy Crush info.
She was upset for days.
Days.
That's one of those where you have
to pay extra to get things, right?
Yeah.
Like you pay extra in Candy Crush?
Yeah.
Did you pay for that?
Yes, I did.
You paid?
That's what I was trying to say.
No.
Yeah, I got dark.
I'd be like, $2.00, and I'd be like, oh, that's a latte.
Like, what a big deal?
And I'd be like, I want a latte.
What am I doing?
And then I'd get money into it, and it wasn't much.
It was probably in max over a month's time,
it might have been $20.
Oh, no.
Still, that is $20.
To
They got you good.
They got me good.
You know what it is?
It's because I don't have patience.
And so I'd be like, you can buy an extra move for a dollar?
And I'd be like, well if I have an extra move, I win.
And I'd be like, yeah.
No way.
Oh, yeah.
So that and then opiates.
Heroin.
Have you ever tried opiates?
No.
Well, what counts as an opiate?
Me neither.
Is it like morphine and all that?
Yeah, what really counts these days?
Then I have, yes.
I have done opiates, but that's just
because of surgeries and stuff.
So far, morphine is a real kicker.
Codeine is OK.
I'm allergic to it, though.
There's another-- Demerol really drools me out.
I've never done stronger than an ibuprofen.
Never.
You'd be hit so hard.
My dad was on Demerol once and he
was on a really wonderful tangent of like, [MUMBLING].
Behind it too, he was very passionate about what
he was saying.
And we're all like, hmm.
We love you father.
[MUMBLING]
It's great stuff.
Hey guys, that's it for this episode of Comment Commentary,
but it's not quite it, because now we're
going to do the [? altro ?] stuff, which includes
alternate pop culture on Saturday, which also includes
the triumphant return of truth or dare.
Truth or dare.
Oh, truth or dare.
Truth or dare.
I was like, what are you talking about?
I suppose it wasn't triumphant, but it is returning.
So stay tuned for that.
Six of us get together.
We did it because-- I want to mention this--
this has been two years, on January 23,
yesterday officially, we three started
this channel called SourceFed and on it
with Phil, who's somewhere around here.
And it's been two years and it's been going very well.
We want to thank you guys for sticking with us
and watching us grow.
I know it seems like we do silly stuff.
And we do.
But we've improved a lot because of you guys
being patient with us.
And we love you and thank you.
We do love you, so much.
That's kind of one of the reasons
we wanted to bring back truth or dare because we
know that you guys like it so much.
And we love you.
Thank you.
It's been a crazy two years.
Crazy two years.
How wonderful.
[INAUDIBLE] James, it's been two years.
Yep.
Go ahead.
Go look back at me.
Guys, what were--
Go look at that first video.
Oh, baby Elliott is my favorite.
You know what, throw up a still of one of the first videos.
Baby Joe's my favorite too.
The first Comment Commentary, don't watch it.
Don't watch it.
Oh, the first one is pretty rough.
Whatever, I went back.
They're not that bad, actually.
I was like, no these are horrible.
And you could tell the pacing is very like-- but it's OK.
We're babies, though.
We're babies.
Especially Elliott.
Yeah, you do look like a baby.
Super baby.
You should see what happened to my soul.
Anyways, thanks and have a great day.
Is that where we should end it?
Yeah, I think that's pretty much it.
You going to go to bed now?
Oh, we're going to lose you in the bed.
Oh, it's the bed time.
The bedtime story.
OK.
Oh, little baby.
Precious angel.
Oh, god, he drinks so much now.
This is every day when the camera stops.
We'll just give you a little behind the scenes here.
This is what happens.
It's two years straight.
You would after four interventions
it wouldn't be a big deal.
I mean, we're used to it.
Yeah.
We got to throw him over so he doesn't asphyxiate.