Welcome back to TLC Thursday, where a weekly video could make your life a
little easier. My name is Christal Fuentes the founder of The Ladies Coach,
and I will be your Host and Coach for today.
If you follow me on Snapchat, you know we had a bit of a discussion about taking
things personally recently, and just in case you don't follow me on Snap
I encourage you to do so ASAP, because we got a community going on over there and
we love chatting about life and relationships - ten seconds at a time of
course. Anyways the messages I got after that specific chat flooded my inbox with
women who felt they found themselves in that discussion.
Why? Because women by nature are nurturers and think for community, so
it's natural that we care a little too much about how others feel, and how they
think of us. Which in turn may make us take a few things personally. But
here's the thing. Taking things personally isn't about caring too much.
In fact, it's actually a selfish trait. Yep it sure is, because it makes
everything about you. But here's a real question: "Do you even know if you are
someone that takes things personally?" There are so many people I've met... Me
included. That think nothing bothers them and that they have smooth sailing
attitude, which couldn't be further from the truth.
In fact here are six signs, that you almost definitely take things personally.
Number One: You're always trying to prove your self-worth to others.
I was guilty of this when I quit my full-time job, and started coaching.
I always felt people were judging because of how young and inexperienced I
was, that I would try to overcompensate my time and energy to change their minds
and at the end of the day, it had everything to do with my insecurity
about what I did. Speaking of insecurity, let's go to the second sign
you almost definitely take things personally.
Number Two: Judgment and insecurity often creeps in.
If you find yourself judging others for how they
exist or how they live their lives, then you 100% without a doubt take everything
personally. When I scroll through comment sections
on social media, I am saddened by the lack of fulfillment people have to feel
in order to comment hurtful things to others. No one is affecting your life
that much to feel hate at passionate levels, but it certainly would feel that
way if you made everything people do about you.
Number Three: You need immediate gratification and praise.
If you constantly do things for praise,
approval, or attention, you unfortunately open yourself up to disappointment
because no one is going to make you feel as worthy as you deserve besides you. As
much as we love our significant others, friends, and families, they are their own
people and we have absolutely no control - I repeat no control over them. As much as
we want to help people and make them see things differently, we will cause
ourself unnecessary drama putting expectations on how they should live their lives.
Number Four: You find yourself feeling guilty often.
If you find yourself feeling guilty all the time, I encourage
you to watch a past video we did, so that guilt doesn't dominate your life.
But I will say, feeling guilty is tied with attachment to self. What? Yes! Guilt
is all about taking things personally especially if you feel guilty for things
you couldn't control, because you make you bigger than uncontrollable or
unforeseen circumstances, and I'm sorry not sorry. You are not bigger than life.
Number Five: You tend to look at what's wrong, more than what's right.
Do you find yourself being cynical about most things?
Cynicism is actually an attachment to being right. I actually call it the justice
meter in my book. A justice meter is all about finding
what's wrong, and making it right. But here's the thing we're not God and we
cannot control people, and to be overly obsessed with what people do that's
wrong, is just not a healthy way to live and makes everything personal. Sure there
are times we need to protect ourselves, but to look for the worst in any
situation is not protecting you. Instead it eats away at your
happiness. So did you have any of the signs I mentioned? I will go ahead and
raise my hand, because at times even as a teacher I can find myself taking things
personally but that is why this is a spiritual journey, and the goal isn't to
be perfect but to bring awareness to what's blocking our fulfillment and
happiness in life. Speaking of happiness make sure you are taking advantage of
the pre-sale offer of my first book called "How to Be H.O.T. - Your Guide to
Becoming Happy Open and Trusting in Your Relationships." I will have the link below.
I'm so unbelievably excited for you to read this book ah! Alright I want to
hear from you. What did you learn in this video or what do you have to add?
Comment below thank you so much for watching this, and if you know that there's a
friend that could use this video please share it with them. Until next time.