hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about how to win the battle against
yourself now let's begin motivation comes in a wide variety of shapes and sizes it's the
drive that wakes you up in the morning it's your desire to make a difference in the world it's
the kick in the backside that you need to start grabbing life by the horns no matter what your
passions or goals are you rely on your motivation to find happiness success value in many ways your
motivation makes your life worth living but every kind of motivation has one common enemy
bogged down by fear doubt and pessimism you do more damage to your motivation than anyone else
ever could so how do you escape this toxic mindset how can you possibly win a war against yourself
let's ground this question in a real-world example for the first 17 years of his life
will was known as a capable and intelligent student he had a large group of friends he
excelled in sports his teachers loved him and his parents how they couldn't be more proud everyone
in Wills environment admired him he was a big fish in a small pond so naturally his dreams
followed suit he was a hundred percent sure he would be successful one day so he never bothered
to think any harder about it on the surface it sounds like we'll had it made right doesn't that
mean he really is on the path toward a successful meaningful life ok let's jump forward a few years
will was admitted into his first pick of colleges but he quickly realized his world was not as small
and easy as it used to be he was surrounded by an ocean of equally intelligent students they were
just as quick and hardworking as he was which could have been a great opportunity for will it
was a rare chance to challenge himself but here's the problem we'll never develop any intrinsic
motivation in other words he didn't take the time to reflect on why his achievements were important
to him he spent his whole life soaking in extrinsic rewards like praise and attention he was
writing a high of other people's expectations but in this new environment those extrinsic rewards
weren't there anymore will was feeling empty and aimless he looked around at all the other
ambitious students and experienced self-doubt instead of rising to the occasion he was too
intimidated to perform at his best he wondered why aren't things working out like they used to why
isn't success falling into my lap we'll then made the same mistake that thousands and thousands of
other people make throughout their lives he shoved those negative feelings as far down as he could he
covered up his insecurities with false confidence and ambivalence when his grades began to suffer he
should have tried harder however he insisted that grades didn't matter or that his teachers just
hated him when he found himself falling behind other students he didn't recognize his lack of
effort he just said hmm they got lucky finally toward the end of college we'll saw an opportunity
to pursue a high paying job at a bank it was the kind of lucrative position he'd always imagined
he would have after graduation in a few days a recruiter was coming to Will's College to meet
potential candidates it was an amazing opportunity to network and learn about the position we'll
expected to waltz right in start up a conversation and easily secure an interview he was calm and
confident until the moment he saw the recruiter he was surrounded by students who seemed infinitely
more qualified than will was will felt overwhelmed and outclassed deep down he wondered should I even
be here am I making a fool of myself because he constantly avoided challenges will had no faith
in his own ability to overcome adversity he had no motivation to drive him over obstacles and push
him through rough patches yeah sure enough wills ego did what egos do it protected him from failure
it told him to run away so he left the event before saying a single word to the recruiter when
his friends asked him what happened he made more excuses he responded yeah I didn't want that job
anyway or it just wasn't my kind of crowd now on the surface will wasn't changing all that much but
internally his motivation and confidence they've taken a massive hit the vision he had of his
future was falling apart his dreams were getting further and further away he wasn't becoming the
kind of person he imagined back in high school which made him feel inferior and incapable without
realizing it he started playing the victim in his own life why is everything bad happening to
me why is everyone else getting lucky while I get nothing he never stopped to think about the amount
of hard work that every other student had put in he didn't ask himself whether the other candidates
wanted that high-paying position more than he did his pride kept him from admitting that he failed
will wanted some way to feel superior again so he dropped back into his comfort zone since he
couldn't stand the idea of being under qualified will took a lower paying job as a salesperson at
a department store it's something he knew he could excel at it didn't matter if it made him happy or
if he felt fulfilled he'd take the safest road and benefit from the same extrinsic rewards that
got him through high school he assumed he'd feel confident and superior again if he put himself in
this easy position but it doesn't work that way or at least not for long over time his lifestyle
made him incredibly unhappy he developed a number of bad habits simply because he didn't have any
goals to aim for he wasted a significant amount of his time his physical and mental health suffered
he used to have other interests and passions but stopped trying to pursue those two the truth was
that will didn't have enough self-esteem to put himself out there he talked as though his dreams
were just around the corner as long as they were happening someday that wasn't today he
didn't have to put in the hard work he didn't have to experience rejection or failure now
you've probably noticed a pattern with will he's constantly searching for someone or some thing to
motivate him to do the hard work in his place to tell him exactly why his life is meaningful but
real motivation the kind that can last a lifetime comes directly from you it's a unique form of
power and value that you have to give yourself every single day if you don't you'll never be able
to achieve anything if you're convinced you're going to be a complete failure well you will be
in wills life his rock-bottom changed everything this happened when he was fired from a sales job
remember now this was the position he thought he was extremely overqualified for he never tried he
never cared because he didn't have to but when he was fired he couldn't blame the world any more he
just couldn't pretend like this was just another fluke he realized that life had been giving him
chances all along it was sending opportunities his way but he was wasting them the truth is that no
one automatically deserves success if you want something the only way to get it is to work for
it that means you have to overcome insecurities and set aside your pride just look at will his ego
tried to shield him from failure but it ultimately drove his life right into the ground now at that
point will needed to figure out what he wanted out of life he asked himself what makes me happy why
is my life important to me it took some work and a whole lot of self-reflection but will did find
one possible answer he knew he enjoyed making other people happy he didn't realize it back
in high school but it wasn't praise and attention that motivated him it was the smile on his parents
faces when he told him how well he was doing this was an ill-defined goal but it was something we'll
really wanted I guess you could say that even the most devastating failures still open up new doors
funnily enough we'll had just lost a job where he could actually pursue his one goal he went
back to the department store and convinced his manager to give him a second chance this time he
ignored his ego he stopped standing in his own way he let himself try care and to get invested
and it paid off suddenly one goal evolved into two and two evolved into many he was slowly but
surely growing into a version of himself that he genuinely liked now don't get me wrong those
feelings of anxiety and intimidation never really go away when he applied to take over his manager's
job will still felt like running for the hills he nearly skipped his interview almost like he
did back in college but this time his motivation kept him on the right path it pushed him out of
his comfort zone because it made his failures worthwhile so if you want to win the battle
against yourself you need to ignore the voice in your head that tells you to run away or take the
easy road you can't spend your life hiding inside your comfort zone you need to figure out what kind
of person you want to be and then spend every day fighting that make it happen hey thank you
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