- Black fathers. Stand up for me, Black fathers.
- All the Black fathers in the building, stand up one time.
♪ I'm the father ♪ ♪ I am the father ♪
♪ I'm the daddy ♪ ♪ I'm the daddy ♪
♪ I'm the father ♪ ♪ I am the father ♪
♪ I'm the daddy ♪ ♪ I'm the daddy ♪
♪ Yo, ladies, look ♪
♪ Hey, you could get this game for free ♪
♪ 'Cause my baby daddy makes it rain on me ♪
♪ Being the dad's what I wanna do next ♪
♪ But that might not happen 'cause I've never had sex ♪
♪ Baby daddy, baby mama, baby daddy, baby mama, ♪
♪ baby daddy, baby mama, yo who wants the drama ♪
- Mariah Carey's baby daddy is such an incredible rapper.
- [Everyone] How much of an incredible rapper is he?
- He... hold on, I don't wanna (beep) this up.
You said you'd buy me an air fryer if I say this.
Okay, he said he would... what's that?
I can't read your handwriting.
(audience laughs) Okay, okay.
He would beat Eminem in a versus with gigolo alone.
(audience laughs) (audience applauds)
- [Big Mack] Air fryer. - Air fryer. I got you.
(ding) ♪ Baby daddy, baby mama, ♪
♪ Baby daddy baby mama, baby daddy, baby mama ♪
♪ Yo, who wants the drama ♪
- My baby daddy's so dumb. - [Everyone] How dumb is he?
- I asked him to go get me some pads.
He came back with some brakes.
- Pads. - I thought she said pants.
- Brake pads. - Oh, okay. I get it.
(ding) - [Nick] Oh, wow, all right.
♪ Baby daddy, baby mama, baby daddy ♪
♪ Baby mama, baby daddy, baby mama ♪
♪ Yo, who wants the drama ♪
- My baby daddy is so dumb.
- [Everyone] How dumb is he?
- I told him to go get a plan B.
(beep) came back home with another job.
♪ I can't front, girl, I like your ways ♪
♪ We supposed to be together but I'm twice your age ♪
♪ See the brand new shoes ♪ ♪ I paid for that ♪
♪ And the brand new jewels ♪ ♪ I paid for that ♪
♪ If y'all see her on the cruise ♪
♪ I paid for that ♪
♪ But I ain't never in the picture ♪
♪ You so lame for that ♪
- Daddy, sugar daddy?
(ding) (Nick yells)
- That's what I'm talkin' about.
- Your scene is a preschool classroom.
- Welcome to Nick Cannon's daycare.
Where we only take care of Nick Cannon's kids.
(audience laughs) (ding)
- Hello, dad? Yeah, daycare let out about three hours ago.
Are you still coming?
(ding) (audience laughs)
- Your scenery is a baby shower.
- That's a big ass baby. (audience laughs)
(ding) - [Nick] That was funny.
- Another one? (audience laughs)
(ding) Mad at this (beep).
- I love comin' to these things.
I wish the father would ever show up.
(wrong buzzer) I (beep) up?
- Black fathers do this on TikTok.
- What is, "Find out your daughter is a THOT?"
(audience laughs) (ding)
- Yeah. - [Audience] Yeah!
- What is, "Yah, yah, yah, yah!"
- [Audience] Yah! (audience laughs)
(beep)
- What is, "I just want to take this time out
to say I hate DJ D-Wrek so much."
(wrong buzzer) - And I hate you too.
This is the most useful item in a Black household.
- What's, "A white woman?" (audience laughs)
(ding)
- What is, "Anything the whoop their kids with?"
(audience laughs) (ding)
- What is, "Lotion, bitch?"
(audience laughs) (ding)
- What is, "A butter knife?
Come help me unscrew this in the laundry room!"
(audience laughs) (ding)
- What is "hot sauce?"
(ding) What else?
- What is- - What is "edges?"
- Edges? - (indistinct)
(ding) - I like that one.
- What is, "A Black father?"
(audience applauds) (ding)
- Your answer is,
"Things your grandfather says when he's drunk."
- "Boy, I've been (beep) white women since 1945."
(audience goes wild) (ding)
- What is, "(beep), in my house,
I can put my (beep) any- goddamn-where."
(audience laughs) (ding)
(audience cheers)
- What I do, Cha-cha?
- Hi, boo. - What I do, what I do?
- Hey, Nick. - 'Sup, D?
- What I do.
So I gotta... I got something to say.
It's gonna be a really hard little thing, but...
Okay, let's get to it.
So if you was down to your last...
- Uh-huh. - Like no money.
Like bankruptcy, like broke. - Okay.
- And the little ice cream truck came about
and your three little kids came around,
which one would you buy the ice cream for?
- The youngest. 'Cause the twins' rich.
Mariah they mama. (audience laughs)
Get your ass outta here. - Whatever!
- ATL, turn up.
- [Audience] Turn up for what?
- 'Cause I got a mother(beep) sugar daddy.
He works in production so I get all the TV time.
Hey, baby! (audience cheers)
♪ Got, uh ♪
♪ He like chocolate ♪
- Wild 'N Out, turn up. - [Everyone] Turn up for what?
- Because for every new kid I get, I get a new job!
(audience laughs) (hip hop music)
♪ Hey ♪
♪ New job, we work it ♪
♪ We work it, we work it ♪
♪ But you don't, but you don't ♪
♪ But you don't ♪
(audience cheers) - It's all good, y'all.
Because this is a family episode.
Any-any... Anybody related in here?
(audience cheers)
'Cause when I say, "We are amongst family."
Dudes, I'm about to bring out,
we gonna split 'em down the middle
and put 'em on separate teams.
'Cause they father and son.
Hey, hey, they, they, gunners, that's all I gotta say.
Papa Gat and the Young Gunner.
Y'all make some noise for Cory Gunz and Peter Gunz.
(audience cheers)
It's a family affair!
Y'all make some noise for the Gunz family.
(audience cheers)
But today, y'all, you over there at new school.
Papa Gat, you over there. And we gonna get to it.
♪ Who we introducin' ♪
♪ This is my son, Cory Gunz ♪
♪ And he's with the new school ♪
♪ Why the hell am I paying child support ♪
♪ When this man is 32 ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ At the family reunion ♪
(ding)
♪ Who we introducin' ♪
♪ But uh, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight ♪
♪ It's the Cannon and the Gunz ♪
♪ Got a whole artillery ♪
♪ Everybody know they be feeling me ♪
♪ And shout out to Jess Hilarious ♪
♪ And her brand new edges ♪
(audience laughs) (ding)
- [Jess] I want Peter Gunz. - Papa Gat!
- Can I cut the beat, (indistinct)?
- Cut the beat.
- Here we go, (beep).
(audience cheers)
♪ You got two guns ♪
♪ You still couldn't blast me ♪
♪ Trashy, assy, McNasty ♪
♪ When I eat cheese, I'm real gassy, (beep) ♪
♪ That (beep) get nasty ♪
♪ Can you smell it ♪ - [Team Member] Smell it!
(audience laughs) - Ugh!
- (indistinct), don't (beep) with that.
- Hold up, mother suckers.
Jess used to look like donkey from Shrek.
Now she got a new hairstyle, that new booty.
That Wild 'N Out...
Must be doing real good with them checks.
Come here. (ding)
Come here, you thick brown man.
- No, no! - Oh, hold up, bro.
- Shut up! - I'm listening.
♪ We don't know if you young or old ♪
♪ You remind me of Instagram ♪
♪ The dark mode ♪
(ding) - Shut up.
Them thick ass glasses. When is Jesus coming?
(audience laughs)
Tell me I've got my life together.
This (beep) got prescription windshields, shut up.
(audience laughs) (ding)
♪ And I got something to say ♪
♪ We the new school ♪ - Uh-huh.
♪ Y'all know how we get down ♪
♪ Nick dressed like the Fresh Prince of Midtown. ♪
- Hold up, man. Hold up, hold up.
I just want y'all to know:
♪ Old school could never fall ♪
♪ Especially not from a kid ♪
♪ That used to swim inside my balls ♪
♪ You don't see me on TV like that ♪
- Uh-huh.
♪ Because I cut the bull out ♪ - Yeah, uh-huh.
♪ I'm nothing like my father ♪ - Uh-oh.
♪ I know when to pull out ♪
(audience goes crazy) (ding)
(air horn)
♪ Why would you envy me ♪
♪ You such a THOT, your favorite letters in the alphabet ♪
♪ Are STD ♪ (ding)
♪ And you have all these babies ♪
♪ Bunch of baby mamas and everything ♪
♪ I bet you has no Christmas presents under your tree ♪
♪ 'Cause Nick Cannon doesn't wrap up anything ♪
(audience cheers) (ding)
- A'ight. Hold on, hold on, hold up.
- See, look at you, man.
♪ Everything I do, you can tell Khan hated ♪
♪ He really want to be me ♪
♪ He concentrated ♪ (audience exclaims)
♪ Used to be on my team ♪
♪ But now Khan's traded ♪
♪ All up on my (beep), dog ♪
♪ I got you constipated ♪ (audience cheers)
(overlapping dialogue) - Relax, relax, relax.
♪ A'ight, he used to think he was Andre 3000 ♪
♪ With that turban ♪
♪ That used to make the crowd laugh ♪
♪ But honestly you just going outside ♪
♪ But I know why you thought you were Andre ♪
♪ 'Cause when it comes to rap, ♪
♪ You'll always be an outcast ♪
(audience cheers) (ding)
(Cannon mumbles)
- D-Wrek, make some sense outta this.
- I gotta give it to the new school.
Make some noise for Khan and the new school, y'all.
- Can we have a little fertile conversation real quick?
- Talk to 'em, boss. - Since the pandemic,
it has been over 10 million babies born.
- 10 million. - Oh wow.
- And only half of 'em are mine.
- They want to hear it in a song.
That's the way they learn everything these days.
- There it is. - DJ D-Wrek, talk to 'em.
♪ Hey ♪
- Put your hands up right now!
- We sorry they bored y'all to sleep, my bad.
♪ Let's go ♪
♪ They wouldn't let us in the streets ♪
♪ So what'd we do ♪
♪ So we stayed in the sheets ♪
♪ With all that extra lovin' ♪
♪ All that extra, extra, lovin' ♪
♪ We put a bun in the oven ♪
♪ Puttin' a bun in the oven ♪
♪ What we doin, what we do ♪
♪ Baby, baby boomin' ♪ ♪ What ♪
♪ Baby, baby boomin' ♪ ♪ Baby boomin' ♪
♪ Baby boomin' ♪ ♪ What ♪
♪ Baby, baby boomin' ♪
♪ She pregnant again, are you kidding me ♪
♪ About to have me a little me ♪
♪ Iman, when they says stay in, ♪
♪ They did not mean literally ♪
♪ I stayed in the kitchen, going back for seconds ♪
♪ And that's the reason while I'm out here looking pregnant ♪
♪ And y'all wanna hear something that's crazy ♪
♪ What? ♪
♪ I'm a baby that's havin' a baby ♪
♪ I stay in the sheets all day, everyday ♪
♪ Why? ♪
♪ I can't get pregnant anyway ♪ ♪ Okay ♪
♪ Hey, get up, don't talk to y'all ♪
♪ They call me Father Abraham ♪
♪ It go like this ♪ ♪ Turn, holla, go ♪
♪ You get a baby ♪ ♪ You get a baby ♪
♪ You get a baby ♪ ♪ Why ♪
♪ We baby boomin' ♪ (ding)
♪ Baby boomin' ♪ ♪ Baby, baby boomin' ♪
♪ 21 ♪
♪ Baby boomin' ♪ ♪ 21 ♪
♪ Baby, baby boomin' ♪ ♪ 21 ♪
- All right, all right, all right.
Let's do it the right way. - Black Wall Street!
- Let's bring a Wild 'N Out girl up here
to help us deliver it.
Y'all, make some noise for Bree One-Time.
- All right, y'all let's give it up for old squad.
(audience cheers) - She said it right.
The old squad. She said it right, the old squad.
- Sorry. Let's give it up for the new squad.
(audience cheers) ♪ Baby boomin' ♪
♪ Baby, baby boomin' ♪ (audience cheers)
♪ Baby boomin' ♪ ♪ Baby, baby boomin' ♪
- All right, guys.
I'm gonna have to give it to the new squad!
- Travesty! (audience cheers)
- Welcome back to this edition of the Montel Williams Show.
Wake your ass up.
We're gonna do special ode to not just the dad
who's trying to smirk his responsibility,
but a dad who understands what a father's all about.
- Drop the beat.
- Black fathers. Stand up for me, Black fathers.
- All the black fathers in the building, stand up one time.
♪ I'm the father ♪ ♪ I am the father ♪
♪ I'm the daddy ♪ ♪ I'm the daddy ♪
♪ I'm the father ♪ ♪ I am the father ♪
♪ I'm the daddy ♪ ♪ I'm the daddy ♪
♪ Yo, ladies, look ♪
♪ Hey, you could get this game for free ♪
♪ 'Cause my baby daddy makes it rain on me ♪
♪ Being the dad's what I wanna do next ♪
♪ But that might not happen 'cause I've never had sex ♪
♪ Into my account like PayPal ♪ ♪ Sing ♪
♪ I send more with Venmo ♪ ♪ Come on ♪
♪ And even if I Cash App, she won't let me get back ♪
♪ Even though ♪
♪ I'm the father ♪ ♪ I am the father ♪
♪ I'm the daddy ♪ ♪ I'm the daddy ♪
♪ I'm the father ♪ ♪ I am the father ♪
♪ I'm the daddy ♪
♪ So we gotta let you know like this ♪
♪ Real daddies pay their child support in cash ♪
♪ We all need the stereotypes to die ♪
♪ Real daddies pay their child support in cash ♪
♪ Sing it ♪ (ding)
♪ Just 'cause you don't take care of all your kids ♪