Video Dunkey's top thirteen games of 2014
BOOM
You get three or four guys together, you start playing speed runners
You gonna have a good time.
Are you going to win?
Or are you going to lose?
Oh no i'm stuck.
[EXCITED PANTING]
[LAUGHTER]
I WIN!
Play as every single youtuber
EXCEPT for Dunkey.
FUCK you Speedrunners.
Numba nine.
Heroes Of The Storm
Babe - [Can't contain sarcastic laughter]
[Laughter continues]
Okay, for real
Brutal Doom.
This is just a jacked up ass
Just BEEFY yah know
Beefing cheese hungry man's dinner
of a mod for the original Doom.
You can really tell the guy who made this
is just some sick fucking bastard,
just like me.
So I really love what he's done with this game.
FUCK you Speedrunners!
Hohokum is just like this visual, audio,
paradise, yah know,
that just kinda flows together
and ya just relaxed and
ya enjoy what ya see
just come in there ya like
Hey guys I brought the meatballs for you guys
Far Cry
This game is broken
And the story is written by an orangutan.
"No, please, you don't understand."
"You can't change the future."
"Probably not"
"But I can make sure you're not a part of it"
Dunkey: *pshew*
"stupid bastard"
The AI-
[Struggles to find the words]
The AI just DEFIES reality. Okay?
It's just this extreme level
of ball sucking-ness
that Far Cry achieves
that actually elevates this game
into pure entertainment.
[Jazz horns blare loudly]
One night I think I got really drunk
and then smoked a lot of crack
and I made this game all in one night.
And then like three weeks later
I found this and thought it was amazing.
So that's Jazzpunk.
Shovel Knight wasn't the hardest game i've played this ye-
FUCKIN' ki-
But it is so. Damn. Fun.
The music. The level design. The characters.
It's not like some fancy-pants resteraunt
with a new innovative dish that's gonna change the way you think about food.
Shovel Knight is just like a buffet
with all ya favorite shit.
Dragon Age
If you're ever playing a video game
and the writing doesn't make you want to shoot your own face off,
then you're probably playing a Tim Schafer game.
Both stories are immediately intriguing,
clever, hilarious, engaging.
And this is really fucked up.
This game has good voice acting!
Seriously! When does a game EVER have good voice acting EVER !?
They brought in Jack Black,
Jack Black: "Oh My..."
Uhh... The Hobbit,
The Hobbit: "You can hear everything I say?"
They even got Keith David as your spoon.
Spoon: "Good morning Commander Shay"
For a point and click, the puzzles are surprisingly logical,
Except for one part where I had to put shoes on a ladder.
Which is actually the only time in the whole game you combine two items from your inventory,
I didn't even know this was mechanic,
Let alone to fuCKIN PUT SHOES ON A LA-
But... It's extremely rare for a game to have a story that actually feels inspired,
ya know, something that I actually care about.
Double Fine, You've done a great job again,
I give you my Nickelodeon's kid choice award.
Mario: "Super Mario Sunshine!"
"Woo hoo!"
Hands down this is the hardest 3D Mario game,
maybe the hardest Mario period.
The upbeat music, the pretty colors, slip and sliding through some palm trees;
that's all bullshit.
This game is not a vacation, this is about being the best guy ever
or getting your DICK knocked off, okay?
Luckily, I beat this with Leah so it wasn't even that bad until...
the sand-bird level. *Ominous music*
*Through clenched teeth* Then you get to play the roller-coaster level.
This part is FUN.
Then the *incoherent mumbling*
The Watermelon Festival
Does'nt you just love the wa-
*Fear and despair in voice* The Lilly Pad Level.
no...
No.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
So to even get to The Lilly Pad Level, you gotta see what fruit Yoshi wants,
You gotta bring it to him, feed it to Yoshi.
Then you gotta wait for this slow ass boat.
Ride this for like seven years
Then you get to the island
Then you got- DON'T fall in the water.
Then you gotta get the fruit, gotta maintain Yoshi's juice level.
Then you gotta jump back on this boat over here.
This will be like 80 years before it gets to this stupid thing.
Then you gotta JUMP onto- mmmm
and there you go and then you get to do it all over again.
Now that you have a brain tumor, go start the level!
♫ Bowser - Super Mario World 2 ♫
*Heavy metal music* Attempt to steal the fastest fucking lilypad in the universe
down a jet propelled current into the bowels of hell!
Remember to use that Super-Soaker that Mario brought at a garage sale.
Oh you missed one coin? Too bad dickface, now you get to go get Yoshi and do it all over again.
As frustrating as it can be at times, it's very rewarding to beat this fucking piece of shit
The controls are extremely tight, even for a Mario game
There's so much challenge, so much variety.
This is an excessively good game. Nintendo deserves a trophy for making this
and I deserve the fucking Nobel Prize for beating the god damned lilypad level
*softly* fuck
Smash brothers is easily my most played game this year under League.
Nintendo really pulled their head out of their ass, really improved the online play.
Added one good matchmaking mode,
a lot of these still use time mode, I don't know why Nintendo thinks people play timed mode.
Then again, why doesn't Mario Party 10 have online?
Why didn't Mario Party 8 have online?
It might not have the depth or longevity of Melee that's been around for 14 years, okay,
but this is a good ass game.
I BEAT YOU!
I FUCKING beat you.
I love smash, I got so much enjoyment out of this game
and I'll probably still be playing it until the next one comes out in 6 years.
And my favorite game of the year...
goes to!
SUPER MARIO BROS 2 AGAIN BAYBEE!
SUPER MARIO BROTHERS TWOOOOOOOO
STILL THE KING!
STILL
STILL THE KING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!