- I had a little conversation with Erica
about trying to make it work, or get back together.
Know what I'm saying? - No the hell you didn't.
- That's my baby mama.
I got akid with this-
- Guess what? And I got a kid by your daddy.
But when it was over, it was over.
- Listen, you and my daddy, y'all are two different people.
- And so are you and Erica.
Wow. - Right. You feel me?
- You tell me what mama walking around
gonna appreciate a woman that walk off from her child
when her child almost stopped breathing.
You really think I'm feeling that bitch?
- Ma, don't call her no bitch.
I mean, it's Emani mama.
- Alright.
He gonna tell me he tried to give her another chance?
He needs to get a new piece of A-S-S and move on.
And yes, she is a bitch.
B-I-C-T-H.
And in that order.
Ladies and gentlemen, the judicial system
has once again staged a coup.
But the scales of justice,
unfortunately it's got the world off its axles.
They're trying to take my son from me
for no apparent reason at all.
- So Momma Dee calls everyone together
for some announcement about Scrappy.
I haven't spoken to Scrappy since he's went to jail.
So I'm hoping everything's okay.
But this royal speech,
yeah, this psycho lady's definitely topped it with that one.
- And with that being said,
I introduce to some and present to others
the Prince of the South, my son, Scrappy.
Mirror on the wall, who is the fairiest of them all?
That would be me, Queen Momma Dee.
I'm that ride or die mother(bleep).
I'ma hold this (beep) kingdom and palace together,
you heard?
- Hey, baby. Let me take your coat.
- My man Ernest is fresh out of prison.
So I thought I'd cut him a little bit of slack
when he took me to what's supposed to be
a romantic dinner at a chicken wing place?
He'll get it together.
- What's going on?
- You know, stuff has been going crazy.
Scrappy said that Erica was getting her lawyers on him
to take him to court when
she know Scrappy been taking care of Emani.
- I know that's your son, but he's grown.
Let's take care of us, 'cause we got issues.
- We've come a long way.
We've both did things to each other.
If you can steal from me and steal from my son,
then why can't I take your freedom?
- I did a whole lotta stuff. - I know you did.
- I'm a hustler. - And I'm a pimp.
My blood, not relation. So what do I need to do?
Do I need to pimp you?
- See what I'm saying?
That's the kinda (bleep) I put up with on the regular.
- Ernest was a lousy ass husband.
He lied, cheated, and stole. But I gave his ass hell too.
We was young, dumb, and stupid. Living in the street.
But you know what? We were also in love.
Between me and you, let's just say
Ernest is the only man ever that can put me in check.
I feel 'cause we're older now, we're in a better place.
And through the years you've been gone
I've not really found another man that can
even ante up to you.
- Regardless of what we're going through
or what we've been through, it's the way we is.
And I got something, you know, that I need to,
I want you to have.
So I want to bring to you today
commitment
ring.
- A ring?
- A promissory ring.
Pay attention to your drink.
- You (bleep) lying. - No lying.
- You (bleep) lying. On a (bleep) cherry?
You know my standards. A queen like me.
Ernie, can you come better than that?
That was (bleep) ghetto as (bleep).
- Serious. I'm serious now. - I'm serious.
Good people of the kingdom,
would you accept the ring out of a Cracker Jack box
at a wing place?
That's damn sure ain't a way to treat the Queen.
- I don't have a lot of things to give.
I'm not that cat no more.
I'm just your average Joe trying to show my appreciation
to the woman that I love.
But if you don't want it-
- No the (bleep) you didn't.
- I'm a simple man.
Only thing I have to give is my love and my loyalty.
After all that Dee and I have been through,
I just wanted to give her a symbol, a token.
But I guess that wasn't enough for Momma Dee.
- You threw it in my (bleep) red wine.
Now I'm finna go in here and dig this bitch back out.
You know what, I'm gonna wear this. You put it back on.
And I apologize. I'm gonna wear this til times gets better.
I think I kinda hurt my man's feelings.
But you know what, he gotta step his game up.
- This is a promissory.
- And you promise to what?
- Spend the rest of my life with you.
We started out together, we're gonna end together.
- Love you. I love you. - I love you too.
(applause)
- Pin the junk on the hunk. Go ahead.
Go ahead, Momma Dee. Go ahead.
No, in front of you.
Momma Dee's bachelorette party is crazy right now.
- [Momma Dee] It's going ditigal .
- [Woman In Audience] Pin it!
(applause)
[Big Tigg] Pin it, pin it!
You know what?
Alright look at it. Look what you did.
Look what you did. Good job, Momma Dee.
- [Momma Dee] It's over there.
It's way over there.
- [Big Tigg] Let me walk you back around here, woman.
Let me find out you don't know where to put it.
- [Momma Dee] Y'all women Becky too.
Go on. Stop playing.
You're Becky.
- [Big Tigg] Let me get your swag.
- You're Beckies. Go ahead.
- So the bachorlette party's gonna-
- [Lady] Who's the best Becky?
- [Momma Dee] All of us. - No but you killed it.
- I did wanna talk to you about
something that happened earlier this summer.
- [Rasheeda] What happened?
Scrappy in court. You and Kirk didn't show up.
- Hold on, now. That wasn't no subpoena.
- You and Scrappy go way back, before Erica and Scrappy
ever even met. - While I was in LA
filming Rosewood, Kirk spoke to Scrappy and told him
we running over. - But the day of?
Are you kidding?
- That night they told me.
What, am I supposed to report to Scrappy?
- But he's hurt, Rasheeda. - Well, he need to
stop sending you.
So Momma Dee is saying Scrappy's mad at me and Kirk.
- Rasheeda's also friends with Erica.
- But Rasheeda knew Scrappy way longer.
- Was Rasheeda and Kirk the only person that Scrappy need?
- I mean, come on now.
- [Rasheeda] But see what you got,
let me say this. - [Momma Dee] Uh-uh.
See, I feel like I'm being double teamed.
- [Rasheeda] No. Aint nobody double teaming you.
- Wait a minute.
You can feel like that if you want to but-
- It's what's going on.
- Well, we got our opinions just like you do!
- I know you got her back like I got Scrappy back!
- Don't do that. No, no, no.
- [Momma Dee] I'm upset! - Well, get the hell out then!
- Why don't you just get-
- She have a right, 'cause this your goddamn-
- [Shirleen] Get the hell out!
- Hold the (bleep) up.
Hey, hey, this my place of,
uh-uh.
What is this lady doing?
- [Momma Dee] I got it. - [Rasheeda] Don't do that in-
- [Momma Dee] That's what I'm doing!
- Did this bitch just pull some
hay out a bag?
- [Momma Dee] Let me build it. - [Rasheeda] She's losing it.
- [Momma Dee] Lost my mother(bleep) mind.
- Buckhead police,
come get this old goddamn lady
down here looking like a fool.
- Don't you know what I just built?
It's a (bleep) nest for you to goddamn sit on.
The next time you push out a goddamn dirty egg,
a rotten egg, you sit on it. - [Shirleen] Oh no.
You need to sit your ass on it.
- Shirleen, you my dear,
have laid a rotten egg.
My eggs are gold.
(grunts)
I'm laying one now.
(grunts)
See? Gold.
14 karat, bitch.
- My marriage has had spirals.
- In a good way or a bad way?
- [Ernest] In a bad way.
- After Momma Dee tracked Ernest down the other day,
I was really feeling bad.
I did not wanna add to their problems.
So I decided to be the bigger person
and I invited Momma Dee and Ernest
to Rasheeda's barbecue.
But it seems like Momma Dee is not interested
in making amends.
- [Scrappy] What's going on over here?
What's good? See you up in here.
By yourself. What's going on?
- [Ernest] Me and Miss Shirleen, we been-
- I'm been, basically, a sounding board.
- I don't have friends, so she's been a big help.
- You know how Ma do. - How she think.
- You think she's gonna like that?
- I wish she was here
so it won't look like the way you thinking it may be.
You know!
- What's up?
- What's happening, Ma? - [Ernest] Hey!
- [Shirleen] Hey, how you doing?
- [Momma Dee] What's up?
- At first, I was skeptical
when Shirleen reached out to me.
But you know what I realized?
That she was only trying to help.
Me and my husband Ernest have our own issues to resolve,
and it has nothing to do with Shirleen.
So I want to apologize for my behavior, my insecurities,
and all the crazy mess that I've done to you.
The snooping, the mess.
- I forgive. I mean,
I accept your apology. - Oh, god.
I came to give Shirleen my apology.
But I got something for that Ernest.
I did my last will and testament,
and I need you to read it out loud.
- [Ernest] Wow. - [Momma Dee] Read it loud.
- "I have taken care of my spouse, marriage-"
- [Momma Dee] 'Cause I pay all the bills.
You always use an excuse.
- [Ernest] "For my children and grandchildren.
I give to my spouse $1."
Ain't that some bull(bleep) right there.
This is the BS I have to put up with all the time.
It's not like I'm with Dee for the money.
I love Dee, even if she is full of these crazy stunts.
Maybe now that she's got these issues off her chest,
we can focus on the real issues in our marriage.
- Ma. - And don't go spend it
in more than one place, you hear?
- Ma. - [Momma Dee] Shut up Scrappy.
- Ernie can't win for losing with Ma Dukes,
you know what I'm saying?
It's a handful dealing with Momma Dee.
(cheering)
- My second hit single is blazing across the nation.
And I'm out here hustling.
An international superstar can never rest.
My nothing ass husband, Ernest,
he may have booked this event with the Soul Train line,
but guess what?
He ain't did (bleep) else!
Me and Ernest had some tough times last year,
but I stick around because no one wants to be
a failure second time around.
And this time around, I was hoping for better.
Did you see that performance?
- That was great.
You are a natural born entertainer.
I was just hoping that you may be
appreciative towards the things that I
bring to the table. - [Momma Dee] Of course.
You my husband. But can I just be honest?
What I want is a man.
I really want this man to step forward, but guess what?
He's been raised to see that his mama gonna pay everything.
- I've been trying to help out as much as I can.
But I've been having some problems with my health,
and that's been keeping me from being as productive
as I wanna be.
But my wife never let me forget how frustrated she is.
- We've beem married less than two years, and guess what?
You've done more, - [Ernest] Right.
- To help your mom.
I married you based upon our dreams.
But guess what I ain't gonna do, is come last.
She can't do what I do. - [Ernest] No, no.
You can't compare yourself to my mama.
- Your mama don't pay our bills on the palace.
Your mama don't (bleep) you like I (bleep) you.
And she if can, I want a threesome.
- What?
That might be the most disturbing thought
my wife had in a long time.
But I know she feel threatened
by how close my and my mother are.
And it's exactly why I've been keeping a secret from her.
Baby, I don't want this to come between me and you,
but I'ma put it on the table, man.
My mother, she's coming back to Atlanta.
She's gonna sell the house in Florida.
- Are you serious?
Oh hell no! Ernest's mama here in Atlanta?
How inconsiderate and selfish is that?
- I don't wanna be split
between you and my mother because I shouldn't have to.
- So at the end of the day it ain't about the spilled milk,
it's about the water that we betray.
How long do we stay?
Oh my god! Oh my god!
Lord knows the Queen has dealt with many challenges.
But today I'm here for a Momma Dee makeover.
Being a mom and a grandmom, I'm overdue.
They call 'em Mommy Makeovers?
Grandmama Makeover.
I'm about to get a brand new body.
I'm getting a boob job, a tummy tuck,
and a Brazilian butt lift.
And yes, a little bit of lipo.
I'm gonna be an aching ass bitch after this.
Scappy's down in Miami. Him and the Bam has gotten married.
They got maaried in Vegas. - Get the (bleep) out of here.
- He grown, so let him do what grown men do.
Y'all do, child I ain't got no --.
- That's Amazing. - Right.
And I'm so elated. They got a place up here.
So they're like back and forth right now.
Last year, it was very hard on me
to watch the Prince, Lil Scrappy, move to Miami.
He got a little mixed up with my friend Shay.
I wasn't too happy about that one.
But I'm happy to say he made it down the aisle with the Bam.
Apparently, Scrappy loves her hooves.
Meanwhile, me and Ernest,
out marriage is about to be flushed down the toilet.
And you see Ernest is not here.
He's never been supportive
to anything I wanted done positive.
Girl, he at his mama house.
- Did you throw him out?
- No, not this time.
Me and Ernest, for a minute I thought
we were in a good place.
But you see that didn't last long.
You know what? I'm moving on with my life.
I feel like I've been so nervous, Kay.
- You're gonna be good.
Follow the rules; no drinking, no smoking.
Have you been drinking?
- I've been thinking.
- Oh (bleep).
So what's gonna happen after surgery.
Is he gonna come over?
- I don't know. - You know, somebody
took care of me.
Terrell took care of me like he was a damn doctor.
- What?
Girl, what's going on with you and Terrell?
You out the Huggie phase or you still changing diapers?
- You can call it what you want
but I don't have the same complaints as you, Boo.
Young men love different.
- All I know is mine needs Viagara or Cialis to get it on.
- Oh, no. Or don't have that problem.
Even when I'm- - So you doing the do?
- You know what?
Even when I'm-
- [Momma Dee] You doing the do, Kay?
Here's you doing the do.
- You know I'm private, so I ain't gonna talk about that.
- [Momma Dee] Well I'm not.
- Yeah, my baby Terrell is 28 years old.
And we get it popping.
I got some good (bleep) going on.
Scrapp about to come home.
- [Momma Dee] You lying, girl. - No.
He about to come home, girl.
- What? - Yeah.
They haven't gave me an exact date.
They playing with me back and forth.
He get out next week, two weeks, three weeks.
- 'Cause this gotta stop. They just gotta let your son out.
- Well, you know he got a 20 year sentence.
In Georgia, you usually do one third of that
and then you can do half of the one third.
- He should've been out.
- I'm excited. I'ma just stay excited.
I ain't letting- - Yeah. I'ma stay
excited for you. Yes!
- Stay excited about goddamn Scrapp getting out.
- Mustafa.
Okay. Let's do this.
- Momma Dee? We're ready for you .
- Okay.
When it's over with, I just may be walkng around butt-naked.
And if Ernest have a problem with it,
he can just kiss my brand new Brazilian ass.
How about that?
(explicit rap music)
Yes, queens. This is what 55 look like, bitches.
Thank you, Doctor Curves.
In the spirit of being the hottest gilf in the land,
I just enlisted another cougar
that throws ones instead of hay, bitches.
It's my birthday!
(cheering)
But at the same mother(bleep) time,
it's a takeover.
Where's my son? This is Momma birthday.
Where's the Bam?
I (bleep) invited her mama, CeeCee,
but that bitch talked about me.
What we not gonna do is stage a coup.
So stayed tuned 'cause you gonna get (bleep).
I'ma get (bleep), she gonna get her.
- I'm really glad that I came out to celebrate tonight,
'cause Momma Dee got some good tea.
- [Momma Dee] Yes, baby! - [Karen] Dee!
- [Momma Dee] What up, Kay?
- [Karen] Oh, my,
you was killing it.
- I'm trying to let these young girls have it, baby.
- But what's been going on?
- You know the Bam is getting ready to deliver.
They're staying with me.
And her mom, CeeCee-
- What's going on with you and CeeCee?
- She staying with me too.
- CeeCee? - Yeah. CeeCee.
I'm just trying to put up with CeeCee's bull(bleep),
but the bitch is too nitpicky.
She got a lot of hateration going on.
Bitch, quench your thirst.
But you know what, I ain't gonna let it worry me.
I'm here for my son and my daughter-in-law,
and it is what it is.