Despite their inner caring, empathetic and nurturing nature, INFJs aren’t everyones cup
of tea. With a reluctance to open up about themselves and a deeply imaginative thought
process, some people can’t quite figure the INFJ out. But how does it get to the point of rubbing
people the wrong way? Well.. that’s exactly what we’re going to discuss in today’s video!
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so that you never miss a video! Alright, let’s get right into it
starting with.. Number 1: Invisible boundaries
INFJs need boundaries to effectively use their empathic and intuitive functions.. But they’re
not exactly great at communicating those boundaries to the people that they affect.
In fact, sometimes it’s not until the heat of the moment where an INFJ clues in that they’re
are some major boundaries that need to be set. For example, if an INFJ finds themselves in a new
found relationship with someone who likes to show public displays of affection such as kissing and
cuddling in public, instead of communicating that they don’t enjoy it, they may just become distant,
cold or obviously uninterested in hopes that they won’t have to say it bluntly.
This can make it considerably difficult for people closest to the INFJ when it comes to knowing when
they’re overstepping these invisible boundaries. And if it goes on for long enough, unfortunately
the consequence results in the people in an INFJs life feeling as though they’re walking on
eggshells - never knowing when one might crunch! Number 2: Seemingly silent judgments
With deep observations and endless analyzing being two of the INFJ’s favorite past times,
anyone that has been around an INFJ can probably say they’ve witnessed their analyzing-tendencies
in action. Yet, sometimes it can be taken the wrong way.. Especially when someone is
the main focal point of their observation. In fact, if you don’t know an INFJ well enough,
this deep analysis can look a lot like silent judgment. The classic INFJ stare, for example, can
easily be misunderstood for negative intentions. When in reality being observed by the INFJ should
be taken as a compliment, as the INFJ is only drawn to people that they want to know more about.
And although most INFJs do have strong opinions on matters, they are also deeply imaginative and
open-minded - meaning they always give people the benefit of the doubt before making any judgments.
Number 3: Quiet & mysterious demeanor
Similar to their misunderstood observing tendencies, the INFJ tends to carry themselves
with a reserved and mysterious demeanor that can definitely make some people uncomfortable.
Although this seemingly peculiar behavior can ironically be considered one of the
INFJs most attractive qualities, it all depends on who you’re asking. For people
who try to observe the INFJ themselves, it can be unsettling to know that their
surface behaviours don’t really provide much insight into who they are as people.
Unlike more extraverted types, the INFJ keeps a lot of their inner thoughts and feelings to
themselves. They don’t need to share their insights to know how interesting they are.
And so, to avoid misunderstandings they often linger in the background of social scenarios
and keep to themselves. Yet unfortunately this can make them seem like they’re up to no good or
just really not enjoying the company.. Which may or may not be true - no judgment here INFJs!
Number 4: They genuinely want to help You’re probably thinking “Why would wanting to
help make other people uncomfortable?”.. Well, in a world of give and take, most people can’t
fathom the fact that INFJs actually get a thrill out of lending a hand. For example, when it comes
to careers, INFJs usually opt for something that helps humanity in one way or another,
with the money coming as a secondary reward. Most people would hear that and say “Ya
right! Who would turn down a higher paying job to help humanity?”.. Well my friends, INFJs.. INFJs
would. Yet, to some people, they may think INFJs only claim to want to help others to
make them seem like good people, or maybe to win some brownie points in a job interview.
In reality, however, this is a quality that INFJs almost don’t have the option to overlook. While
they can understand the attraction to money, their empathetic nature drives them to need some type of
emotional reward that money can’t provide. A reward that most people can go without.
Number 5: Mood swings Speaking of walking on eggshells, INFJs are prone
to sudden shifts in their frame of mind when under high-stress. Although they’re usually able to work
under pressure, when there’s too much expected of them they can easily fall into their mood-swinging
ways. With extraverted sensing in particular, when someone with the INFJ personality type is already
feeling burnt out, they can find that their mood is a direct product of their environment. And as a
result, this lack of control over their mood and high sensitivity to their surroundings can make
them seem extremely conditional and unpredictable to the people around them. They can seem more
sensitive to criticisms, other people’s energies, outer stimuli and changes of plans, than their use
to. Try to cheer an INFJ up in their low times and you can easily expect a very uncharacteristic cold
shoulder or a brief reply hinting they want to be left alone. This side of the INFJ that
usually only emerges when they’re stressed can be seriously surprising for people to witness,
and can definitely rub them the wrong way. Number 6: Overly deep and introspective
In the eyes of an INFJ, the world isn’t introspective enough.. But to the world,
INFJs can sometimes seem to play the role of the guru nobody really asked for. Of course,
there are other personality types that actually admire the INFJs ability to deep dive into the
simplest of concepts. Yet, not everyone is as willing to go as deep as the INFJ
likes to take most things. Especially when it comes to conspiracies, spirituality, taboo topics,
unpopular opinions, controversial and personal matters - some personality types tend to look
at the INFJ’s viewpoints as woo-woo or even irrelevant. But, it’s not just that. In fact,
deep conversations can be extremely intimidating for certain types of people,
making them feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. Well.. it’s not everyday that you’re challenged to
talk about the ulterior motives of the government or the concept of humans being formed from stars..
But those are most likely the types of conversations you’ll get
when chatting with an INFJ - and some people just don’t jive with it.
Number 7: Wanting to know more about people
“So.. what was your childhood like?” Odd question? Not to the INFJ! Speaking of deep-diving into
topics, there’s nothing an INFJ loves more than getting to know what makes someone tick. Yet, when
you’re the topic of conversation, there’s no doubt it can get a little uncomfortable for some people.
Especially when considering the fact that INFJs are so reluctant to open up about themselves
in the first place, when they’re interested in getting to know someone on a deeper level,
the conversation can have an underlying interview-like vibe that makes certain
people uncomfortable. Of course, INFJs have their ways of avoiding coming off as too overbearing or
intrusive, but some people don’t want to be the centre of attention at all. And as a result, some
people may think the INFJ is reading them on a level that they don’t even quite know themselves;
asking questions that they’ve never even thought of answering.
They may question why the INFJ wants to know such things, and what benefit they get out
of it because of their inability to relate to the INFJs uncanny interest in humans.
Well, that's it for today, psych-os. So, if you’re an INFJ,
have you ever rubbed someone the wrong way? Also, please don’t forget to leave us a like,
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