How can you know if your ex is really over you or not?
In this video, I'm going to tell you how to know if your ex is over you and I'm going
to be giving you a couple of things to look out for.
Now, I want you to pay attention to the last one because the last one actually kind of
ties them all together and gives you a good idea about specifically what is going on,
what is driving whether or not your ex is over you or whether or not they still have
a lot of strong pent up emotions for you.
Okay, so definitely stay tuned, but my name is Clay.
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and relationship results that they're looking for.
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So the first way to tell your ex is over you is if they're starting to move on and build
a new life with new experiences that are separate from the life that they had with you.
Now I'm not talking about getting into a rebound relationship or doing some sort of thing with
their life.
That's a very hard reaction towards the life that they had with you where it's like a complete
180 from where they were doing with you.
Now, these are often a sign that your ex is still very much caught up emotionally with
you, but if they're actually moving on and starting to build a new life, that's not a
reaction to the life that you had not or not a sort of knee jerk reaction to the breakup
or anything like that.
That's a very strong sign that they're starting to move on because they're starting to enter
into a new chapter of their life.
They're starting to build new experiences, possibly new experiences with another person,
and they're actually being present in that experience.
They're actually being present in that chapter.
They're not just doing it as a, as an unconscious reaction to what happened.
The second sign that your ex is over you is that they are emotionally detached from what
happened from the breakup.
Right.
And I don't mean this in the way that maybe you might be thinking where they're saying,
hey, I have no feelings for you whatsoever.
I never felt anything I never loved you to begin with or anything like that.
I mean, obviously that's not genuine.
That's not authentic.
That's actually what we call posturing.
They're pretending that they're not impacted by the relationship that you had that pretending
as if it didn't mean anything when actually they really do feel a lot.
They're just kind of masking it.
They're kind of putting on a suit of armor to protect themselves from feeling the pain
that they actually feel or would feel if they allow themselves to feel what was really going
on.
That's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about if they're okay with what happened to accept what happened, happened,
and they're just kind of detached from outcome.
There's a, you know.
Yeah.
We broke up.
Yeah, it was terrible.
yeah, we had our own disagreements, but at the same time I'll, I want to know what's
new with you or maybe maybe we can meet up.
Maybe we, maybe we won't wait up.
I don't know if it happens.
It happens.
If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, right?
If they have that kind of mentality to it where it's not just this knee jerk reaction,
then that's a very strong sign that they have moved on from the breakup.
Okay.
And this isn't a bad thing.
We'll get into that in a moment.
The third thing kind of building off of that is that they're emotionally free from the
past.
This means that they're not kind of caught up in the emotional drama, the baggage of
the story of what happened in the past.
Now, even if you and your ex broke up a very long time ago, they could still be caught
up emotionally in the past.
You know, like my parents are actually divorced and I was talking to my dad not too long ago
and he, even though they've been divorced for something like over 30 years, he is still
very much caught up in the story of what happened in their divorce.
He's still very much caught up in all of that emotion.
He's never let go of it.
And so because of that, my dad is actually not over my mom.
They're still kind of stuck in this really bizarre emotional knot, at least he is.
And so if your ex is kind of like looking back at what happened, they're like, I can't
believe you cheated on me.
I can't believe you lied to me.
I can't believe we did that thing then.
Then they're still caught up in the story and they're definitely not over you.
Okay.
Building off of that last one is sign number four, and that is that their response to you
is not extreme either to the positive or the negative.
Now what do I mean by this?
Well, when most people think of their ex, especially if they're fairly recently out
of the breakup, they often have a very strong emotional response and that could be positive.
Maybe they really regret what happened in the breakup and they still have strong feelings
for their exes and they want to get back together or maybe they still want to be friends or
still shared their life in some way.
Right?
That's a positive, strong feeling toward their ex.
The other side of that spectrum is of course, if they have a very strong negative feeling
towards their ex, which is kind of like what is happening with my dad and my mom, people
often are like that, right?
Where they're like, oh, I can't believe my ex.
I hate my ex.
All of that stuff, and when that happens, there's still that strong feeling going on,
but what happens when things start to mellow out, come together and they're like, you know,
yeah, my ex and I, we had our problems and we kind of ended up breaking up and I wish
I behave differently.
I wish they behave differently.
Maybe you think it would've worked out, but we had our problems and things didn't work
out and once they have more of that kind of vibe to them, that's more of a sign that somebody
has really moved on from the breakup.
And again, this isn't necessarily a bad thing because this takes us to the fifth sign that
somebody has moved on from the breakup and that is if they start to become emotionally
available, especially with you, they start to become emotionally available towards you.
It means that they are starting to move past the breakup.
They're not really interacting with you.
Okay?
Okay.
So maybe we need to stop step back little bit and explain something here, but one of
the reasons why there's a lot of this very strong response to an ex after somebody breaks
up is because your ex, when they left you, in order to justify leaving you, they had
to create this image in their mind of you as a person that's worthy of breaking up with.
And sure, maybe you did some things that, maybe warranted them breaking up with you.
Maybe you did.
Maybe they actually had to fabricate a reason for breaking up with you.
Maybe they had to take something that you did and exaggerate it in order to justify
breaking up with you, but either way they have this image in their mind of you that's
worth breaking up with and when they're interacting with you, they're not really interacting with
you.
They're interacting with this image of you.
They're interacting with this concept of you, this concept of their ex and as long as they're
doing that, they're actually a little bit emotionally unavailable towards you.
But as they start to let go of that concept and actually start to see you as the person
that you are and interact with you in the present moment and see you for how you're
being in that present moment.
Not based off the baggage that the two of you had.
Not based off of the history that the two of you had.
Not based off of the fights and the disagreements and the lies and the trust and all of that,
but they're just able to see you as the person that you are right now.
Sitting in front of them, that's when they actually start to become emotionally available
and that's when they actually start to put the breakup up behind them and this is a good
thing if you want to get back together because they're actually able to interact with you
as the person that you are.
They're not interacting with that concept of you that they had to create in order to
break up with you.
They're interacting with the you that you actually genuinely are right now in the present
moment, and this is the optimal circumstance for building a positive emotional connection.
This is the optimal circumstance for demonstrating that the two of you can get along very well
for demonstrating that whatever caused the two of you to break up is not an issue anymore
and if they did get back together with you, they're not walking back into the same broken
dynamic, the same broken relationship.
That something is fundamentally very, very different and that is where you want your
ex to be so they can actually be open and receptive to being with you.
To building a connection with you towards seeing what's possible.
With the two of you together, so what signs have you seen that your ex has been moving
on?
Please go ahead and leave a comment down below.
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Anyway, this has been Clay with relationshipinnergame.com, and I'll talk to you again in our next video.
Take care.