Dear elegant ladies, welcome back to another video.
I know a lot of you have been requesting for me to make a video about
toxic female friends.
I have narrowed it down to a list of 10 types that are very common.
If you happen to have anybody of them as your friend,
it can be really worth thinking about if you want to continue the friendship or not.
But I'll talk about that a bit later. Now, the number one,
it is the jealous friend and the jealous friend is probably one of the most
toxic friends. She does not wish you well, deep down inside.
She probably has a lot of issues in her own life,
a lot of maybe unhappiness.
She probably doesn't live the life that she would like to live.
And if by any means,
you are doing well in your life or good things are happening to you,
she's not going to be there to support you.
She might even be sending you the evil eye. She will be unhappy for you.
If she says that she's happy for you,
you can hear it in her voice that she doesn't mean it.
You know that when she looks at you, you can see the jealousy in her face.
Now a lot of women are jealous, first of all.
And there is something that can be like in a sense envy where you can
be kind of jealous, but not in a negative malicious way.
Like let's say, I would say, " Oh, I love your dress. I'm so jealous".
That is innocent envy. Like you wish you could also have that,
but you don't have it and it's not the end of the world.
And you're happy for the other person. Then that is a healthy way of being.
But a lot of the times, people who are jealous,
the jealousy is an irritating feeling within them.
And it's difficult for them to manage that feeling.
So that's why the jealousy comes up to the surface somehow.
And you'll notice it.
I work a lot with energy work and I believe that it's really important to keep
your aura as clean as possible.
So magnified with positive energy and no jealous energy
belongs in a good positive aura.
I can tell you that I had a friend of mine back in the days and after I cut my
ties with her, do you know what happened?
My life started to accelerate for the better.
It was almost like those years that we were friends,
that I was somehow hold back because of what I now understand.
She was probably jealous and it blocks, sometimes certain energy.
So for me, as I believe in that, we want to reach our goals,
we want to become successful.
We cannot afford to have jealous women around us or close to us.
So cut those women off. The number two is the passive aggressive one.
And we can also call her the narcissist because there are people who are
simply just very critical and almost very snarky in their comments.
It's almost like you never is good enough for them.
There's always something wrong in everything you do. And those people,
you can understand,
I don't really have to explain why these are very toxic.
Because they're just to be manipulating the entire time.
Because that's what the narcissistic aspect comes in,
narcissists that are great on emotional manipulation.
And to also make you believe certain things,
to almost believe like you owe them things,
or you should be obeying to them in one way or another.
They're very good at using passive aggressiveness
to emotionally blackmail you
and to manipulate you.
And narcissists are one of those very toxic personality traits
that as soon as you smell a narcissist,
you should never even bother thinking about changing them.
Because narcissists are unfortunately, you cannot ever change them.
So for this reason, if you spot a narcissist, just run and get out of there.
Then number three, this is a very common and within us women,
because we love communicating and we love building communities.
We end up becoming gossip girls,
but I believe there are two types of gossips.
So you have just idle gossip when you're really just kind of catching up
what everybody's up to, like have you heard the latest about X, Y, Z?
And just kind of check in about that person.
Now that is more innocent gossip, right?
But then you have malicious gossip when lies are being spread,
when the rumors are being fabricated,
when people are being trashed,
when you're raising unpopular opinions about somebody and the person cannot
be there to actually defend themselves.
Now that is gossip and that's malicious gossip.
And you have a lot of women who enjoy gossip because gossip
gives them a temporary relief.
What happens in that situation is that let's say they are jealous of X, Y, Z,
now they want to find reasons to make themselves feel better
about X, Y, Z's existence.
So they start gossiping about that person. Maybe making up lies,
maybe sharing secrets, maybe criticizing,
speaking poorly of that person.
Anything that gives them that temporarily satisfaction where their
own narrative instead gets validated that the person is bad
or she's actually not as good as she thinks she is.
Or she did a mistake and let's enjoy that mistake, shall we?
And create this little aura of gossip. Now this is toxic behavior,
and this is negative behavior.
And you can see that there are certain low level of people who seems to always
get involved in gossip.
Like I rarely come across high level educated women who are
successful and busy living their best lives,
who are sitting there and having this malicious gossip rounds with their friends.
But people who do malicious gossip, they are very specific people.
And if you want to progress in life, and if you want to reach your goals,
then you cannot involve yourself with that type of energy because that energy is
going to block your success. Number four, the Negative Nancy.
The Negative Nancy is somebody who everything is wrong.
Nothing is good enough for her. She finds fault in everything.
And she is just a big dark cloud that you feel
drained by whenever she has been around you. And Negative Nancy,
she loves talking about the negative stuff.
She loves talking about problems.
And then you wonder why she keeps attracting only
negative things in her life.
Ladies, if you want to have success and you are especially working with law of attraction,
the last thing you can do is to get involved with people who are again,
dragging you down, who only sees the negative, who do not like,
or feel comfortable vibrating on the positive energy.
And so become a successful woman,
you have to vibrate with positivity because that's how you attract positivity
into your life. Step away while you can and don't get dragged into this mess.
Number five, the drama queen.
So we have different types of drama queen,
but I'm now going to mention the general one,
the one who always has a situation going on,
the one who always has things that's happening,
where you might have to play the support group or the rescuer.
And these type of people are also draining just like negative Nancys.
There's always something negative happening and something that
requires your presence, your attention, your help, your resources.
But then let's actually move straight on to number six because the troublemaker
is the cousin of the drama queen and the troublemaker also needs a lot of rescue.
But the problem with the troublemaker is that she really puts herself in trouble
on a regular basis. So while the drama queen is more involved in drama,
this one gets herself into a mess and things can get embarrassing.
And then you have to associate yourself with this type of person.
And please remember ladies that the women that you spend your time with,
they actually reflect your personal brand.
If you are an elegant polished lady and you have this troublemaker friend,
that just makes a fool out of herself all the time, gets herself in trouble,
has a terrible personal brand.
How do you think that's going to affect your personal brand?
I don't necessarily mean that you have to now stop being friends with her
because she's cramping your style.
But it can be worth seeing if you can help this friend,
if this person is open for help,
if you can communicate with this person where you actually ask what's going on
behind the scenes,
why all this drama and all this entire mess.
Because usually, I noticed that a lot of women who are troublemakers,
they come from a troubled background somehow,
or they are going through a difficult time.
It's okay to make mistakes.
So I'm really referring now to somebody who regularly seeks trouble and
makes it a lifestyle, really.
Then we have number seven and here's the attention seeking girlfriends.
The one who loves to have all eyes on her, the one who,
if she's single,
she's going to be pretty annoying because if you're also single and you go out at night,
she will always be the one who makes sure that all men are talking to her,
that they're looking at her, that everything is about her basically.
So she is addicted to be the center of attention and to get validation
from her surroundings, and oftentimes from men.
And the attention seeking can really turn into embarrassment many times because
oftentimes these women, they do things.
They sacrifice their dignity in order to get that kick of validation.
Sometimes that involves, I don't know,
start making out with your girlfriends in the nightclub or you are
jumping up and flashing your breasts, let's say on the bar. I don't know.
I'm trying to think about some good examples, but you know,
this type of attention seeking behavior,
you also have more subtle attention seeking behavior,
such as always wanting to be the one who talks. Let's say,
if you are in a group setting or always coming with the boldest claims or
stories or even worse when they start with the bragging.
Ears are bleeding.
So this becomes really frustrating and really difficult to deal with,
just like the troublemaker.
If the attention seeker has a bad reputation to her,
that might actually affect your reputation too.
People really don't like attention seeking people.
See if you can somehow distance yourself from the step of person because you can
often not really change the behavior of somebody who has this kind of chronic
need for attention.
That person really needs to go to therapy and really source out where this
attention seeking is coming from because you can't get rid of it just like that.
Now the cousin to the attention seeker is actually the flirty friends.
And this is particularly dangerous if you are in a relationship and you have
a flirty friend who happens to flirt with your partner
the entire time or often.
It might be like the attention seeker just to kind of get some validation.
So sometimes it can be innocent.
But the problem, in this case, is that it doesn't matter if it's innocent or not,
it's unacceptable.
And it shouldn't happen at all because it's disrespectful for your friendship,
for your relationship, for you as a person,
I would never have friends around if I notice that
they are flirting with my partner,
that is a big, no go.
I set my boundaries very clear there.
If you flirt with my partner, you're out of the door. So for me,
that's a non-negotiable.
And I really think that if you see that your friend is doing that too,
it can be worth speaking to her about it first, like giving her a warning.
But if she continues with this, I don't see another option.
Number nine, the friend who compares and compete.
A lot of people are naturally just very competitive,
but women do have a tendency of having insecurity that forces them
to want to compare all the time with other women and especially
their friends. This is a very common female behavior.
And it's often actually done subconsciously, almost innocently.
I'm not necessarily saying that you have to cut out everybody
who compares and competes
because this type of behavior can be done in an amount that is
not very harmful. So a little bit here and there, that is kind of innocent
I think it's okay. As long as it doesn't really turn into something malicious.
But if you have somebody who is hardcore competing with you and is jealous,
when it goes well for you and is all the time comparing you to each other and
things like that, then that becomes a dysfunctional friendship. So in that case,
I would definitely end the friendship.
You want to have somebody who wants the best for you,
who is not competing with you,
somebody who is happy for you when you're doing well.
And it's going to be very hard for that person who compares and competes
to actually be genuinely happy for you.
Number 10 and this is the last one. We have the user friends.
Now, as the name says,
we're talking about a person who's just there to use you for their own agenda.
Somebody who never gives back or return any favors,
somebody who's just friends with you because of self-interest, who only takes,
takes, takes, and never gives.
And that type of friendship is not a balanced friendship.
So I don't see how it's possible to continue a friendship where you're not
in there for the same reasons. And there is no balance.
So you can't just have somebody who just leeching off you and you notice this
when the person just simply never return any favors.
When the person is always too busy if you need help,
or the person always asks you for favor,
or always expects you to be there for the person,
but the person is never there for you. Now, I know a lot of women are wondering,
when is it okay to cut the ties?
And I think that that depends on the unique situation.
Me, myself, I would definitely give a person a second chance,
but I would never give them more chances than that.
They have the opportunity to correct their mistake,
but if they don't bother, well,
that means that they're not really valuing the friendship.
And you always have to set boundaries with your time and your energy.
You are the priority in your life. You don't owe people anything.
It's not your responsibility to please the world. Now, ladies,
I do have a video that talks about how to deal with hate and how to deal with
rudeness in an elegant way.
So make sure you hop over to that video because that will tell you a little bit
more how to deal with toxic people. I will see you in that video.