• From what the first soda was, to why we use forks, knives, and spoons.
We answer 10 of your most burning questions about life.
I’m Hellbent, I’m here to totally amaze you with true facts I didn’t just make up!
Hm?
Wait Mellissa don’t you usually introduce yourself first?
Eh- ***Sorry Hellbent, I gotta go.
Just got an emergency call about a bread factory explosion!
Ohh.
Hmm alright, so you’re going out to help?
Huhh?
Help?
What am I, an ambulance?
No, silly.
Free lunch!
In the meantime I arranged for Nixxiom here to fill in for me.
He has my notes and script, everything should be fine.
Now Nixxiom, read exactly what I wrote for you there.
Bye guys!!
** • I’m here to help, even though I disagree
with everything written on these sheets…
• Listen bud, you had better stick to those sheets!
This is a sweet gig, don’t ruin it for me, just remember that I’m the funny one and
we won’t have any issues.
10 – Nate Orrell can we completely run out of electricity?
• Absolutely, we’re very close in fact, actually it’s in the best interest of everyone
to just turn off everything and destroy all electronics you have!
Everyone should be doing their part to conserve energy!
I personally know two robots that have been eating up a lot of electricity and need to
be stopped.
• Um, hello, excuse me?
Yeah, so, aren’t you supposed to be funny?
I don’t think that joke was good enough, could you try again?
• Uh huh.
Thanks for your quality input on my performance Nixxiom, it means a lot coming from someone
limited like you.
• Huh, you say somethin’?
I have a job to do, if you’ll just be quiet please.
*clears throat* • Yes, the Earth can run out of electricity
since the supply of fossil fuels will eventually be depleted.
These are things like oil, gas and coal.
If we learn to harvest renewable energies such as wind and solar power and make it affordable
then we will have electricity for a long time to come.
9 – Guya Crowe what was the first soda?
• Ehhh it’s all the same stuff really.
Sugar and lots and lots of carbonated water.
The more carbonation the better if you ask me, best part about it is burping in the face
of people you don’t like to tick them off.
*** • The first soda was a drink made from water,
honey and lemon.
It was sold in France in the 17th century.
Joseph Priestly created the first carbonated drink in 1767.
It was water that had carbon dioxide added to make it fizzy.
Carbonated soda was sold at pharmacies as it was thought to have health benefits.
*** Bleurgh, please.
I’m trying to work here.
Can’t you be professional for 5 seconds – Dolan is generously paying us to read
this out.
Not enough if you ask me.
Wait - what are you getting paid?
• Duh.
I get paid in hugs and kisses.
Don’t tell me you get paid with filthy money?
UGH.
I knew you were a sellout.
FAKE. 8 – D3AD43V34_of_partion Who found the first
planet besides Earth?
• Well let’s see- hmm what’s right above us- *ah yes there we go, got a planet smack
dab in the middle of the sky for you there.
Me.
I found it.
Next question.
William Hershel was the first to be attributed the discovery of a planet, after he observed
Uranus through his telescope on March 13, 1781.
Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn are all visible with the naked eye; therefore
no person has been attributed to their discovery, as it impossible to say who saw them first.
7 – Averagewolf4 Why do people believe in Science more than Religion?
• Man, I don’t know why people believe in either.
Can’t we all just come together and agree to believe in me instead.
I mean honestly if you had to pick between a nerd in a lab talking science garbage, an
old man in the sky doing magic, or a cool talking demon, who would you pick?
I’ll give you one second to think it over— ding ding ding— YEAH- it’s me.
*Nixxiom can riff here about his own personal opinion on religion and stance on the science
vs the religion* Stick to the script, dingus.
• Shoo, Satan boy.
You’re not wanted.
• It isn’t true that more people “believe” in science since it is not a belief, but facts
and knowledge gained through observation and experiment.
Religion is a belief in a God or Gods.
In the words of Neil DeGrasse Tyson: “That’s the good thing about science: it’s true
whether or not you believe in it.”
In fact only 10-22% of the world’s population are thought to not have a religion, and 15%
of scientists still believe in God.
So they are not mutually exclusive.
• UGH.
Did you just quote Neil DeGrase Tyson?
Haha, oh my god.
• * * Listen we all need to believe in something Hellbent, some people find that in science,
others in a god.
For me, I find it in the form of tons and tons of fans that worship me.
6 – MarvelousPotato Why do we use forks, knives and spoons?
• We use that stuff because we’re not filthy animals!
Plain and simple.
• Hellbent- c’mon man stay on track.
It’s a simple back and forth!
Your job is to make witty commentary, get it right.
Next time please say something that isn’t terrible and embarrassing.
• Hey listen elf boy I’m guessing they didn’t teach you how to use forks and spoons
in your little village growing up- here let me show you, here comes the airplane~
• ***** • Knives and spoons have been around in
some form since we began hunting for food.
Knives were a way to hunt, then cut the food for consumption.
Spoons existed in the form of shells or hollowed out rocks that made it easy to scoop up food
to eat.
Initially forks were seen as a luxury, as fingers were the common way to gather up food
to eat.
Eventually they became more popular and were recognised as a more sanitary alternative.
5 – DanStanMan2004 Who was Rasputin?
• Ehhh I don’t know- like some loser from Russia or something?
Ain’t he the president?
Pretty sure he’s related to Grgak, one of those outer space martians trying to blend
in with actual people but doing a horrible job.
• HEY, don’t go talking about Rasputin like that!
He’s always been sort of an inspiration to me*
• Oh hey, I’m sorry Nixxiom, I didn’t realise you liked Russian dictators.
They couldn’t afford to send spoons to your little communist village?
Id da widdle baby goona cwy cuz nasty Hellbent hurt his master’s feewings?
• No, idiot.
Rasputin was a Russian mystic and healer that gained influence with the royal family until
his assassination.
He was a peasant that turned to religion and started wearing monk’s robes, travelling
around teaching.
When Tsar Nicholas II asked for his help to cure his child he did so and gained increasing
influence over the royal family.
Aristocrats then murdered Rasputin just prior to the revolution.
4 – AxelKing646 What is the difference between knowledge and wisdom?
• WELL….Knowledge is something you know, and wisdom is something you wise up to and
learn, so if you’re not wising up and picking up on that knowledge then you’re probably
not very wise at all.
Can’t really make it simpler than that.
• I have watched EVERY EPISODE of the Planet Dolan show and that is- by far the worst answer
I’ve ever heard.
• Yeah whatever big guy, I didn’t expect for you to understand that, might be too much
of a thinker for someone like you.
• Knowledge is learned through study and experience and is based on information, facts
or how well you do something.
Wisdom is gained through experience but is a deeper understanding of things, such as
the reason we do things or should do things.
Knowledge is the information but it takes wisdom to know how to apply that knowledge
in the best way possible.
3 – Purplesibling What was the first art ever made?
• Well art is all subjective really and left up to the viewer to determine its value
and worth.
Personally I wouldn’t consider anything at this point in time to really be on the
proper level of fine art.
But just so I can leave my mark on the industry, I have created a piece I think you’ll all
enjoy.
I call it “throwing Nixxiom into lava” *** I think I’m going to start the bidding
for this masterpiece at 22 million.
• The first art was cave paintings made in Europe and Asia around 40,000 years ago.
A “red disk” painted in the “El Castillo” cave in Spain dates back over 40,000 years,
while the first depiction of an animal was a pig painted in Sulawesi, Indonesia.
Recent discoveries are of a shell that has “zigzags” etched onto it that was though
to have been made before humans, 430,000 years ago.
• Thinking about making it go for 30 million actually.
It’s just that good.
• Pfft, you’d be lucky to make a few cents of that chicken scratch.
• Man, I don’t need your communist food stamps anyway.
2 – diamond girl how do our bones grow with us?
• Well, fun fact, bones don’t actually grow, turns out bones are just replaced overtime
by a bone demon at night over a long period of time.
It usually takes the demon a long time to fully replace the entire skeleton so it’s
a long process that takes months.
That’s where growth spirts come from as well- because it’s just the demon working
overtime to get those bones in.
• Man, you’re really grasping for answers here I see huh?
• Yeah like you got any better.
But you go right ahead and read what the bird wrote for you.
• The bones we are born with are mainly cartilage, and as we grow, layers of calcium
cover them.
This continues until the cartilage is gone and we are left with bones that consist of
layers of calcium.
Cells at the end of our bones add new calcium as we grow.
This process, called “ossification” ends when we reach full adult height.
1 – Temmie LPS Do only humans cry?
• See, I used to think that was true, but I got a good feeling my dude here is about
to break, poor guy.
* * • THAT’S IT- I’ve had enough of you
• Hahaah, hell yeah!- come on, let’s do this!!
*~~~~~~~ * Ughh wow, I leave for a few minutes and you
guys are tearing each other apart.
Well- If you want something done right you got to do it yourself.
• While most land animals have tear ducts and the capacity to cry, it is thought that
humans are the only one to do so for emotional reasons.
Other animals “cry out” when they are distressed, if they are separated from their
mother, but they don’t actually cry.
Elephants have been seen shedding tears and are thought to grieve.
It is not known for sure if the tears were actually brought on by an emotional situation.
• **** Heh- heh, Pretty good for an overgrown garden
gnome.
• You too.
I’m sorry I cut off your arm just before.
• It’s alright.
I don’t need it.
Let’s go get something to eat.
You first.
• Ahh no no, you first I insist.
• Nahh, ladies first • grrrr
• * * • Come on now you to, kiss and make up or
get out, we got to end this episode.
• Hmm-fine with me, I’m done with this.
• OH NO YOU DON’T.
If anyone’s angrily walking out of here it’s me!
• Oh yeah?
Try and stop me.
• No you don’t! *****