- Squirrels are just NUTS!
- Let's talk about that!
(theme song)
- Good Mythical Morning!
- Ah, the majestic squirrel!
- The Pigeon of the Trees!
( forced laughing )
- And the ground! I've heard that before
- The power lines I mean, pretty much?
- Squirrels are just pigeons with tails and fur!
- Right, and no wings.
- But how much do you know about squirrels? We're gonna find out, as you play...
- What a squirrel wants, what a squirrel needs, is for you to fill in these blanks! (Rhett singing)
- Link, are you ready?
- Y-Y-Yes
- I'm going to ask you a question, they're "fill in the blanks"
- If you fill in four correctly, (just half!)
- You can be an actual squirrel!
- Okay, I'm ready for that
- I'm gonna draw in the power of the Mythical Beasts to give me answers because mine are usually not correct
- California Ground Squirrels have an interesting skincare routine, they rub (blank) all over their fur to fend of snakes!
- Snakes, what are snakes afraid of?
- Snakes are- (Rhett interrupts) That you can rub on yourself
- Snakes are afraid of,
- Snakes aren't afraid of anything, man!
- Jeeps
- Ah, they rub Jeeps all over themselves!
- I'm gonna say, feces
- Cause, like, I don't know?
- Seems intuitive doesn't it?
- Yeah it just seems like it, gross and, just stay away?
- Congratulations Link, you're wrong!
- Oh,
- The answer is dead snakes
- (stuttering) They actually do this.
- Really?
- You know the "takeaway" here is that squirrels, that snakes are just kind of stupid because if you rub the dead version of them on a squirrel their just like,
- (mocking a stupid snake) It's not a squirrel, looks just like a squirrel but I think it's one of me dead!
(laughter)
- But they stay away from-
- And they stay away! It's a dead snake, they stay away! It happened to me, if I get close to the squirrel.
- Oh.
- Snakes are stupid.
- In Montana, a group of ground squirrels are in an ongoing battle with the US military. Despite many attempts, the squirrels won't stop burrowing into (blank)
- The "what" military?
- US
Of A
The United States Of America.
The country that you are in currently.
- They won't stop burrowing (together) into...
- Classified,
- Something that the military, might be concerned about.
- Classified email
*pop!*
- That would be tricky, be tricky.
- Uh,
- Like, ammo silos
- Link! Not exactly correct but I'm gonna give it to you, Nuclear Missle Silos!
- Ammo Silos is not a thing, but I know exactly what you meant
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, Nuclear Missle Silos!
- Literally there are these squirrels,
- They are setting off thousands of false alarms but,
- There's no need to worry because Donald Trump actually has a plan for this,
- He's gonna build a wall to keep those loser squirrels out, and they're gonna pay for it!
(laughter)
The Male Cape squirrel certainly doesn't mind being photographed in the nude, it's penis is (blank) percent of it's body length.
- And you gotta get within 10%
- This is almost a gimme
And you've already gotten one right, I mean, you're on a roll here.
- I mean it can't be more than fifty
- (disgusted) Ugh, can it be more than fifty?
- I gotta split it down the middle
- Well, not IT.
- (Rhett laughs)
- Eugh...
- I'm gonna say... I'ma go in for the gusto and say 25... percent.
- 23 percent
- Shoulda stayed with the 50 cause it's 40 percent!
- 40 perc- gauh!!
- 40% and it scrotum is 20 percent of its body length-
- DON'T! Show a picture!!
- So basically, its 60 percent genitals.
- DON'T... TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!
- The whole squirrel.
Craugh!!
- Back in 2007- I don't know...
- Back in 2007, -
- Like, he's carrying on a missle silo under there!
- The Iranian government arrested 14 sneaky squirrels on suspicion of (blank).
- The Iranian government?
- ...Iranian...
- Suspicion of... (breathes deeply)
What are them squirrels up to, man?
- So weird! How can I even fill in this blank?
- Um...
- This happened. This is not fiction.
- Uhh... ... ... ... carrying messages
- Like, espionage message delivering.
- Link... I'm gonna give it to you because the answer is spying!
- Espionage!
- Yeah, spying, esiponage...
- It's a fancy word for spying!
- Coincidentally, they were Cape Squirrels which we just discussed, which helps explain why the Iranian guardies were quoted saying:
- "Each squirrel was carrying one gun and two large bullets
(laughter)
- ... This is all a...
(more laughter)
- ... private part joke?
- It's real, though! Actually, they were quoted saying:
- "The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies.
- I'm not makin' it up! I don't think it actually happened, but the Iranians said they were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies.
- Are they free now?
(both talking at once)
- Squirrels may LOOK cute, but you shouldn't touch them - they're very common carriers of (blank)
- ESPECIALLY in this state of Californ-I-A.
- mm... Carriers of something... that humans could get...
- Or- or pets.. like rabies....
- I'ma go with rabies!
- I'ma go with wrong!
- It's Bubonic Plague! The PLAGUE.
Hi! I need somebody to please finish off the captioning!
To do so, at the end of the video,
Click the "i" in the top right corner and you'll find your way from there. Thanks!