- Oh, my family made fun of me for a while, it was great.
My family is fun, though.
I mean, my family is great, they're everything to me.
And you know,
we have the worst luck, I mean, we really do.
Like, initially, we had the worst luck.
Check this out, I have a brother, Omar,
who happened to become a pilot.
I'm like-
- Solid career choice, Omar.
Solid career choice.
No, he's doing great.
The FBI came over our house.
We squared everything up.
Everything's fine.
No, they really did.
The FBI came to our house
or as my uncle calls them the FIBI, no joke.
Look me with a straight face.
He goes, "Hey, is the FIBI's coming?"
I'm like, "Who?"
He's like, "The FIBI?"
"Is the FIBI?"
I'm like, "What are you saying?"
He starts to act it out.
He's like, "The FIBI, you know, the FIBI?"
I'm like, I just-
We figure it out, eventually.
He's the same uncle that can't say pharmacy.
He says, "P-harmacy."
A 100% of the time.
This guy's the most brilliant man I know.
He's like, "Hey, I have a chest infection.
Take me to the p-harmacy."
I was like, "Oh, oh, you mean pharmacy?"
He's like, "You're so stupid, okay?
There's the P in front of harmacy!"
I was like, "Yeah, that's true."
And I have a nephew named, Osama, okay?
- Oh?
- I mean, what this poor kid had to endure.
I hate that fact.
There's so many terrorist act done by white people,
not a single person is changing their kid's name
from being Timothy, right?
It's fucking insane.
This poor kid.
This kid has to deal with so much, I can only imagine.
Like, his ninth birthday was an obstacle.
I walked up to him after the party was over.
I saw he had the new Xbox, only one game.
We're in Houston.
I was like, "Hey buddy, let's go to Walmart.
I'll buy you all the games you want."
He was like, "Yeah!"
When we get to Walmart, man, he's nine years old.
He's running away!
I can't call him!
I'm sitting, like, "Hey, Osa-."
Psst.
"Sammy!"
That's a good one.
"Hey, Sammy, come here."
And whatever he was going through
just bubbled up to the surface.
He was like, "No, my name's Osama!"
I'm like, "Shut up, you know, no todo está bien,"
"solamente aquí con mi sobrino."
I just got the fuck outta there.
- Can I tell you a story?
My full name is
London Dionne Micha Stacey Stephanie Estina Knibbs-Hughes.
I'll do it again.
My full name-
is London Dionne Micha Stacey Stephanie Estina Knibbs-Hughes
I remix it, that's my full name, right?
So here's the thing
after I came out, my parents were so happy that I was born.
That my mom thought it would be a great idea
if every member of my family gave me a name.
Okay, so my parents called me, London,
'cause I'm from London, and they're not that creative.
And then I had Dionne.
Dionne, Dionne, Celine Dion, Dionne work, Dionne, soulful.
Dionne, Dionne.
Thank you,
that's from my grandma.
And then I had Micha, Micha.
Colloquial, colloquial.
Micha, Micha, colloquial, colloquial.
That's from my dad.
And then I had Stacey!
That was from my brother.
My brother, Joel.
Then I had Stephanie!
That was from my brother, Alex.
Then Estina!
Latina Estina, Estina, from my quarter Cuban mother.
And then my last name is Knibbs-Hughes.
That's my full name, right?
So it's a nice name,
but let's take a look at Stacey and Stephanie, shall we?
'Cause that shit don't float.
Here we go.
Stacey, my brother, Joel.
My brother, Joel, names me Stacey,
after the chick he used to fancy in kindergarten class!
Called Stacey Hughes.
My brother, at five years old,
named his only sister after some bitch
that he used to eat glitter with?
Right?
I don't even know the fucking bitch!
I don't even know what's she done with her life.
That, actually, I was gonna call this special
"Looking for Stacey."
I'll see, where's the camera?
Stacey Hughes.
Stacey Hughes!
Who's 35 and went to David Livingstone Primary School
with my brother, Joel Hughes.
I just need to let you know, your name did not go in vain.
Greatness was named after you.
Okay?
You fucking made it.
Fucking made it, Stacey.
I hope you're not dead, or a crack head,
but you fucking made it!
Fucking Stacey.
Don't know the bitch.
And then my brother Alex named me, Stephanie.
Mm-hmm, Stephanie.
After his girlfriend, Stephanie.
'Cause he wanted to prove to Stephanie
that he was serious about Stephanie.
He later cheated on Stephanie.
He cheated on Stephanie with Stacey.
Stephanie found out and keyed his car.
Stephanie stole his dog, Tupac.
He never got Tupac back.
And I still got the bitch's name!
These gals, Stacey and Stephanie, ooh!
Shit it out, Jesus Christ.
And these are the men in my life, right?
These are my role models.
These are who I look up to, no wonder I'm so fucked up.
Okay?
- If I buy a ticket through Delta's system
my name and their system is Nathan.
And on my license, my name is Nathaniel.
I do not remember making this decision.
It's a big deal.
You can't just change it.
I've tried, I've asked Delta if they could change it.
And they're like, we can't change it.
And you're like, then I don't know,
I don't know where we go from here, you know?
If you can't do it, who can do it?
I mean.
Do you call, is that why people call senators?
Do they do it?
What you have to do,
you have to mail your birth certificate in.
Some moms give their children their birth certificates.
I've never received mine.
I thought I was the proof of my birth.
And you gotta mail it in.
I've never been a big mail-it-in guy,
I've mailed maybe four letters my entire life.
Like I just never done it.
Stamps make me nervous.
Because I don't know how many you're supposed to put on.
Where they're gonna be like, you shoulda put one more on.
And they change the price of stamps
and that's not in the news, you know?
You don't find that out on Twitter,
you have to find out from old people.
They're the only people that know.
They keep up with, they'll be like stamps went up.
You're like, okay, uh.
All right, is it a $100?
Like they're furious.
Is it a $100 a stamp?
It's three more pennies.
So I will never go through that process
to get my name changed, so I just deal with it.
And it gets a brought up.
Once I was checking a bag and the guy behind the counter,
he sees my ticket says Nathan, the license says Nathaniel.
And he was like, this is not good.
He goes, these names don't match.
And I was like, but they match, right?
Like-
You can see the leap that we took
to get from one to the other.
And he was like, but they're not the same.
I was like, but they're the same.
And I'm realizing he cannot find out
people call me Nate at that point.
Because-
I mean, he can't handle that.
He's gonna call the police over to be like,
there's a guy with three names trying to fly right here.
If you guys want to just shoot him
from over there or something.
So I was like, what do you want me to do?
And he goes, you should go home.
That's like, honestly, he's like.
I can't believe you've made it this far.
I was like, let me just try it.
You know, shouldn't I try it?
I said, look, I'll give you that those names don't match.
But what I think is gonna help a ton
is the picture on the ID.
Something that I've always loved that they did.
And I think-
With 70% of that name matching and a 100% face.
It's 170%.
I think y'all get through.
And this is what he told me, honestly what he said,
he goes, "Look, man, I get it, all right?"
He's trying to relate to me.
And he was like my name's Joseph,
that's what's on my license.
So I can't buy a ticket under my nickname, Bart.
They're not gonna let me through.