Coach said she's going to start me next game
And if I play really well I'll be the new starting centre
That's wonderful dear! Your father and I are very happy for you
I also got a B on my last history paper
Which is actually pretty good because my professor is a tough grader
Wonderful dear!
So... how's your love life?
Have you found a girlfriend yet
Um, nope. I've been pretty busy between school and soccer
Isn't there a nice girl on the team you can date?
I dunno
Your father and I aren't getting any younger Ellie
Your brother and sister are married, with children
With the way things are going with you I'm afraid that you are going to be alone... forever.
I'm only 21 mom
And soon you'll be 41. Your vagina is going to be all shriveled up and no one will want you
Mom. That's disgusting
It's true. I need you to lock down a partner
I want some gay babies out of you
Okay well that's not going to happen yet. I don't have a girlfriend yet. I'm sorry.
It's just really disappointing.
You are a pretty girl, you're sorta smart
Why is it so difficult to find someone
I dunno, girls just aren't interested in me
Is there something wrong with you?
Mom!
Hey babe! Just got home from class
Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were talking to someone
Is this your mom? Mrs. Mitchell?
Hi I'm Lexi. Elliot's girlfriend
Ellie! You told me you didn't have a girlfriend!
She's been keeping me secret
She really wanted to wait to surprise you when she brought me home
Babe, I'm so sorry I ruined your surprise
That's okay pumpkin...pie. Pumpkin pie.
Elliot. Oh my!
I am so happy!
Look at this girl, look how beautiful she is. Honey your hair. It's gorgeous
Thank you Mrs. Mitchell
This homosexual love makes me very happy
I can tell that you both love each other
Mom, stop you are making Lexi uncomfortable
I would love to see, a little... kiss
I'm not giving Lexi a kiss
Ellie, you know I could die at any minute.
I didn't want to tell you ...
but I went to the doctor this week...
She told me...
I have very high cholesterol I could drop dead at any moment
Oh my god.
We should probably kiss
For your dying mother
Oh!! Homosexual love. It is just so strong!
Mom! Can you stop calling it homosexual love. No one says that.
People at our church say it all the time
Okay I should really go cook dinner, but it was lovely to meet you Mrs. Mitchell
You too dear! You are so pretty!
God bless you
You better treat that girl right Ellie. She is very much out of your league
Are you serious right now?
Have you thought about what kind of ring yet
Mom you have to stop. Now!
I have never seen you so happy! Look at you. You're glowing.
Homosexual love-
Mom!
Enough!
Okay, love. Just love.
It's beautiful
Thanks...
How's your friend doing? The short one. Jessica.
Jess? Oh she's good.
Tell her to accept my friend request on facebook
It's been pending for months. It's rude.
I'll get right on that
Lexi Mitchell...
That has a good ring to it
Okay! I'm going now, I have to do homework
You give Lexi a big kiss for me ok.
We love you dear!
Love you too... bye mom!