it's been a while hasn't it
at the time of my last instagram post in
japan i wasn't doing very well
i know a lot of you were concerned hell
i was concerned as well
because this year has been without a
doubt
the most challenging year of my entire
life i'm sure a lot of you can say the
same thing as well
but that's not a bad thing if things
are easy you're not growing so
i leaned into the challenge instead of
avoiding it
or complaining about it or numbing it
and i feel that it's been really
transformative i've taken a step back
from making youtube videos
and i'm putting my efforts into a whole
new project
it's a big one probably my most
important one ever
i'm spending a full year on my own
wellness project
instead of pouring my hours into
planning and filming and editing and
publishing videos
i want to spend that time on developing
myself
what is the best version of myself that
i can be
what are the ways in which i can truly
flourish and if you remember
how our videos were like in korea when
we used to publish eight videos a week
you know that i know how to grind and i
know how to hustle
but now i'm spending that time grinding
on myself
that doesn't sound right does it though
maybe
i'm level grinding my own character you
might have noticed one of the big things
that i've worked on
and is that i've worked out a lot
i lost 50 pounds in one year
my face is very different i am
super shredded now i have a six pack for
the first time in my life i finally feel
comfortable shirtless no not on camera
you horn dogs my mama watches these
videos cheshima moshu
another thing that you might have
noticed is that i'm a lot less
frenetic on camera i'm a lot less hype
right now
i'm less agitated and all over the place
i feel a lot calmer now
i feel a lot more emotionally resilient
i am at ease with what comes and goes
and i am open to the mysterious
unfoldings of my life
aka sounds like simon moved to canada
and smoked a lot of weed
that's that's not it at all it's
actually because
i got a lot more into meditation like
a lot more not like run away to the
mountains and become a monk
or get one of those like breathy namaste
voices that some people tend to get i'm
not
at that level yet but back when i was in
tokyo i used to meditate for
10 minutes a day and that was very very
transformative
but now i'm doing something like an hour
a day on most days
sometimes even more and that has been
so great for me just so good i feel like
how i have a six-pack on my body i now
have a six-pack in my mind
are you ready watch me flex
[Music]
think of a number between one and ten
you got it
okay i don't know it but i got you to
think of a number between one and ten
impressive right okay i know i'm joking
about meditation but
truly i think this is the best thing
that i have done for myself
i feel a lot more present when i talk to
people
my eyes aren't jumping around all over
the place i can
look people in the eyes i feel less
anxious when i talk to people i feel
less scared i feel
like i'm connecting with people like
i've never been able to connect before
meditation truly is super super good
highly recommended 10 out of 10 would do
again but i'm not just practicing
meditation for myself i'm actually
interested in taking this
a whole lot further i've enrolled in a
lot of classes at university of toronto
when it comes to mindfulness and
meditation
i'm super interested in the neuroscience
of it what happens to your brain
when you meditate how do you change your
brain how are you developing that
six-pack in your mind
i'm actually really happy to be a
student again curiosity
is my strongest personality trait along
with love of learning
so this is so fun for me
learning all this stuff reading all
about it i'm really interested in
finding ways to share this with you as
well
and as soon as i do i hope i can make
some good videos about it
truly i think youtube as a whole can
have a lot more mindfulness and
well-being in it
and i have some ideas that i think can
change the platform
how can youtube measure more than
subscribes and likes
and watch time and revenue and maybe
start focusing more on
the well-being of its creators and
viewers it's
possible i know a lot of you have
probably seen some craters burn out
you might have even seen some of them
fall apart
i don't want youtube to be a factor in
their unwellness
or yours so i have some ideas
as to how i want to change a platform as
a whole
and i'm working towards a vision it
actually feels really good to set some
goals
and to work towards achieving them big
boy
no you can't have any bacon fudgy's
first day at the dog park
so small compared to this huge dog
[Music]
oh he's so gorgeous
[Music]
he's hiding here in the bushes okay
what's been very good for me as well is
that i've reconnected with my friends
and family in canada
i was super out of touch with him for
like
more than a decade when i was in korea
and japan
but now that i'm back home and i can
see them regularly it's just been so
good for me
it feels great to have the love and
support
of people who care about you i'm also
spending a lot more time with my parents
because they are getting older
i mean we're all getting older unless
you're
keanu reeves but i think you know what
i'm saying
i i don't have that much more time with
them
and i don't want to squander any more of
it and i am for sure
noticing how the more i understand my
family
the more i understand myself i see
similar traits in my father and in my
mother
and my sister and brother and even in my
nieces and nephews
i come from a very rich and deep context
and i feel that the more i understand
them and their stories
the more i could understand who i am as
a person as well
so that's what i've been up to in these
past four months
it's been a hell of a ride to get from
japan to where i am now
and it's not been easy but i feel
really great i feel happy
deeply happy i feel connected i feel
at peace i feel very good and i just
kind of wanted to
share that with you and hopefully allay
some of your concerns
but i do know that some of you will not
be satisfied with that
there are some burning questions that
you have
and so i'm going to address the elephant
in the room
namely why
haven't you seen my right hand
so let me explain i broke my hand last
week
in a pretty bad car accident in which i
was completely not at fault
i was driving a rental car because i was
given that rental car
after a car accident i had last month
one block
away from the accident i had last week
so
adelaide street in toronto in particular
i hate it i'm never driving on it again
remember how much i used to complain
about driving in korea
no more korea i miss your driving
toronto driving
but the point of this video isn't about
the pains and the challenges i'm facing
in an entirely new way of life because
really this hand freaking hurts a lot
instead it's a message about how you can
grow in the face
of challenging times because
i feel that challenges are tests
given to us by the gods fortunately
they're self-rated tests and at the end
of your challenge
you can look back on it and see did you
handle it
with grace and dignity and i hope that i
can look back on this time
and say that i've done just that even if
i had to do it
single-handedly get it i broke my hand
hold on other hand yeah
that was a bad joke thanks for watching
everyone
i'll see you in the future hopefully
with both hands working
[Music]
bye-bye
[Music]
i wasn't able to do this last week
i got the
[Music]
thumbs up