(silly music)
- American Explorers, Griswolds.
In 1804, an expedition explored an area
from the Louisiana territory to the Pacific coast.
For the grand prize,
what Lieutenant led that expedition?
- I give up.
- Wait a minute, dad!
(talking over each other)
- Shh! Quiet down!
Quiet down!
(ticking time music)
- Come on, Dad.
- Time's up, Griswolds.
Do you have an answer?
- Clark!
- That's it!
Clark of Lewis and Clark.
And the Griswolds are our Grand Prize Winners!
(celebrating)
(posh music)
- [Clark] Where's the wheel?
- [Rusty] Other side, Dad.
(posh music)
(car driving)
(horn blaring)
- Clark!
You're driving on the wrong side of the road!
- I realize that honey.
I'm also on the wrong side of the car.
(horn blaring)
(tires screeching)
(Ellen screams)
(cars crashing)
- Okay, look, I'll just say hello and goodbye.
Short, short.
(rotary dialing clicks)
- Wonder if anything's good on TV.
Should I watch cheese or snow?
(phone ringing)
- [Jack] Hello?
- Hello, Jack?
- [Jack] Hey, Aud!
- Oh God, Jack, I miss you so much.
Do you miss me?
- [Jack] Oh yeah!
- Really?
- [Jack] Yeah.
- Oh, I miss you so much it hurts.
- [Jack] You do?
- Yeah.
- [Jack] Look, I gotta go.
- What?
- [Jack] I gotta eat.
- Oh, your mom's calling you to dinner?
- [Jack] Uh-huh.
- Okay. I'll hold.
- I'll just tally up your bill for you.
- Don't I just have to sign this?
I think the Pig in a Poke people will take care of it.
- It doesn't include the telephone bill.
- [Ellen] Oh, well that's no problem.
We just made a couple local calls.
- All right, it'll be
(tapping)
253 American dollars.
- This must be some mistake.
- [Ellen] How could that be?
- Who the hell called Chicago?
Audrey!
Russ, get in the middle.
- Clark, why don't you let me take it?
You haven't been in any of them.
- Okay, I got a good idea.
Monsieur!
Excusez-moi!
Clark Griswold, United States of America.
My family and I.
Would you take a picture of us?
(Man speaks in French)
Could you photograph us?
- Oh! Photo!
- Photo, yes.
(Man speaks in French)
Merci!
The bouton.
- The bouton.
- The bouton?
The bouton, ah, the bouton. Oui.
- [Clark] Okay, Russ, get over here.
There you go.
(Man speaks in French)
Oh yeah!
Let's take our shoes off and get in the water.
Yeah, okay, yeah!
It's fun!
(Man speaks in French)
(water flowing)
- Perfect! Perfect!
(Man speaks in French)
- Hey!
Hey!
- Clark,
Clark, listen.
There isn't anything on that tape
that shouldn't be there, is there?
- They took my camera, honey!
- Clark!
There isn't anything on that tape
that shouldn't be there?
Remember the buh-buh-buh, buh-buh-buh?
♪ Good lookin' ♪
That's gone, right?
You erased it?
- Yeah, I erased that, honey.
Now, if we want to be accepted here,
we gotta try to fit in, speak the language.
Wear French clothes and that's why I got us all berets.
Here we are, Ellen.
Russ.
Here you are, honey.
- Oh, come on, Dad.
This is really rank.
- Come on now, Russ.
Loosen up.
You don't want to look like a tourist, do you?
All the French wear these.
It's the national hat, fella.
- Well, I'm not gonna wear it.
It looks stupid.
No girl will want to talk to me.
- Well then I guess they'll all talk to me.
(Clark chuckles)
- Hey, you look cool! - I feel cool!
- Woo!
- Whoa, Mom!
- [Audrey] Hey Mom, looking good!
- Okay, let's go!
We ready to conquer Rome?
What do you say, huh?
(upbeat music)
(anticipatory music)
- [Ellen] Clark! Clark!
Clark!
- What? - Would you please slow down?
- The kids are exhausted!
- Honey!
It closes in 15 minutes!
There are a hundred thousand works of art to see!
Come on!
- [Rusty] Great, are you happy, Dad?
She's dead.
(rock music)
(German music)
(stomping)
(clapping sounds)
(crowd cheers)
(slapping sounds)
(dancers yell)
(clapping)
(slapping)
(crowd cheers)
(Audrey laughs)
(slapping)
(punching)
- Oh!
(punching)
(Clark breaking a table)
- [Ellen] Are you okay?
(people yelling in French)
(exciting French music)
- Clark! Clark!
(horns blaring)
- [Ellen] Take my hand!
Clark, where are you going?
Get back here!
(yelling)
(water splashing)
- Where are-
(purse hitting man)
- [Clark] I'll get him!
(punching)
(sirens blaring)
(car screeches to a stop)
- [Ellen] Oh!
- You all right?
- [Ellen] Oh yeah!
Oh, Clark!
(men speaking in French)
I love you, Sparky!
You're my hero!
- I know!
- Your parents are actually pretty cool.
- Yeah, they're good for a few laughs sometimes.
- Well now can we go home?