And that was the moment I realized 那时候我才发现
if he can’t respect my choice 如果他不能尊重我想要一段彼此平等的
to live an egalitarian polyamory lifestyle 多元开放式关系的话
it just wasn’t going to work out. 我们没办法再一起走下去
I’m so over primary partner polyamory, 我实在是不能接受有主次伴侣之分的多元关系
you know? 你懂吗？
Mm hm. 嗯...
So, what are you into? 那你是哪一派？
Polyaffective? Polyfidelity? 多元倾慕派？多元忠诚派？
I’m sorry, I don’t really follow. 不好意思...我没怎么听懂...
Monogamish? 彼此灵肉分离忠诚派？
What speaks your truth? 和怎么样的人相处起来你觉得最舒服呢？
Uh... 呃...
boyfriends? 男朋友？
Just regular ol’ monogamy then. 啊 你就是普通的单一伴侣派啊
Alright, 好吧
how many boyfriends have you had? 那你有过几个男朋友呢？
Three. 三个
Oh, and how many have you dated? 和多少人约会过呢？
I said three. 三个呀
So you've never dated. 那你应该没有约会过
Oh... 噢...
maybe we have different cultural definitions of dating. 可能我们文化背景不同 对约会的定义不一样?
Well, 好吧
polyamory aside, 先不讨论多元开放式关系
where I come from, 我们那里的文化对约会的定义就是
you meet someone through an app or friends, whatever. 你通过APP或者朋友认识了一个人...
Uh huh, then you get matching t-shirts. 嗯嗯! 然后一起穿情侣装
What? No. 蛤？不是不是
If you want to take things to the next level 如果你对他有好感
you go on a first date 就和他出去约一次会
and if that went well 然后喜欢的话
you have a second, third, fourth and so on. 再约第二第三次...
Got it, and then you meet the parents. 懂了 然后见家长！
Not really. 不太一样
It depends how long the dating period lasts for. 还是要看你们约会的状态能保持多久
There might be commitment issues. 你们可能需要点时间定义彼此的关系
Because he doesn't own a car and a house. 懂的 看他是不是有房有车嘛
No, 不是
because maybe one person needs more time 是因为有些人可能需要点时间
testing out their compatibility 看自己能不能接受这样非男女朋友
without the commitment and responsibility 没有义务与束缚的感情状态
of having a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” 这么好的事情都不要
Yuck. 唉
Wow... 唔...
I like your open western style. 你说的这种开放式的西方文化好酷啊
Maybe I should try this style of dating you speak of. 我也想试试这样约会
Hi. 嗨
Hey girl, 亲！
I went on a date last night 我刚约会啦！
and we went to a movie together, just the two of us! 我们去看了个电影 就我们两个人哦！
Awesome! How did it go? 太好了 怎么样呀？
Great! 很好呀！
I don’t like him romantically or sexually. 但我对他没有小鹿乱撞的感觉
Well, that’s just called a male friend. 哦 那不叫约会 他只能算一个异性朋友
Hmm, 嗯
be right back. 好吧 我再试试
Hey girl, guess what? 亲 猜猜发生了什么？
I went on a date last night 我昨晚和一个男生约会了
and we ended up in a love hotel. 我们后来去了一个情趣酒店
Then he disappeared the next morning. 然后第二天早上他就不见了
Hm, 嗯
less of a date, more of a one night stand. 这个不能叫约会 应该叫一夜情…
Oh... 噢...
and I had to pay the hotel fees. 然后酒店钱还是我付的
That's just called being a jerk. 这不叫一夜情 这叫被坑了
Alright, 好吧..
be right back. 我再试试
Hey girl, 亲！
So, 所以
I went on a date last night 我昨晚和一个男生约会了
and after dinner 吃完晚饭以后
I took him to meet my parents 我带他见了我爸妈
and he brought my dad a super nice carton of cigarettes 他给我爸买了一条很贵的香烟
and my mum some really nice skincare products! 给我妈买了一些很高级的护肤品！
I think that’s called... 我觉得这应该叫…
a fiancé. 未婚夫吧？
Do you like him? 你喜欢他吗？
Not really, 一般般吧
but my Dad says I’m getting super old 但我爸说我年纪越来越大
and not to be fussy. 不能再挑三拣四了
Then no, 那这也不算约会
don't take him to meet your parents. 不要带他见爸妈啊
Damn! 奶奶个腿！
Alright. 好吧
Alright, one more time. 我再试一次！
Be right back! 最后一次！
Hey girl! 亲！
So, 所以呢
I went on a date last night 我和一个男生约会了
and we went to an art exhibit. 我们去了一个艺术展
He is 他真的
super nice and so knowledgeable! 超级贴心又超级渊博！
On the way out it started raining 看完展出来 下雨了
so he took my hand and we shared one umbrella. 他就牵着我的手 我们打一把伞
I know, 分开的时候
And he hugged me 他轻轻抱了我一下
and we already agreed to see each other this weekend. 我们约好了周末再见面
Now that's a date! 这才是约会嘛！
Oh my god, yes! Finally! 是吧？太好了！
Finally! 我终于
After all these people... 试过了这么多人后....
finally I’m dating. 我终于也是个在约会的人了
Look at me, 嘿嘿嘿~你看我
cruising the dating scene like a laowai! 想像老外一样不恋爱就约会 就可以做到！
Aw you’re crushing it! 哈哈哈 棒棒哒！
Now you can take the time getting to know each other 现在你们就可以继续了解对方
and see if you’re compatible 同时你也可以
while dating other people. 开始找更多人约会啦
Other people? 更多人？
I mean, 但是
last night on WeChat 但他昨天晚上在微信上跟我告白
he agreed to be my boyfriend. 已经是我的男朋友了
How can he be your boyfriend? 他怎么能算是你男朋友啊？
You've dated him once. 你们才约了一次会啊
My love... 亲爱的...
will you... 你愿意...
marry me? 嫁给我吗？
Yes! 愿意！
Chinese culture is so strange. 中国文化也太奇怪了
Babe, baby! 宝贝 宝贝！
I thought about it 我考虑过了
and I realized 然后我意识到
I was being selfish. 之前是我太自私了
And I am ready 我决定接受
to give you 我们这段彼此
egalitarian polyamory. 平等的多元开放式关系
Oh my god, yes! 天啊 太好了！
Aww, so sweet. 嗷嗷 好甜哦
What does that mean anyway? 但他到底什么意思？
Well, it means 就是说
they can fall in love and bang anyone else they want. 他们除了彼此 还可以爱上和上其他人
Wow... 哇塞...
foreigners are so open! 老外真开放！
Hey, don't put us all in the same boat. 诶诶 别一竿子打翻一船人！
These two are freaks. 他们俩是变态