I appreciate it.
Welcome to the show.
Thank you for being here, by way of your living room, really.
That's how you're here.
You're all part of my virtual audience.
Things are really different.
Six months ago, the word zoom meant a fast car,
and now it's the only way you can attend a bar mitzvah.
We're wearing masks and gloves and stretchy pants
that have been stretched way too far, way, way too far.
We need some exercise and I don't mean the kind of workout
where you walk from your bedroom to your kitchen.
I recently read an article that was very hopeful.
I hope you agree with me.
It says, according to experts, you only
need five minutes to achieve benefits of exercise.
Now that can't be too hard because this is what--
five minutes, I started listing all the things in my head.
You can boil an egg.
I mean it's a runny egg, but you could boil an egg.
You could watch five TikTok videos.
You could get pregnant.
That's about it, that's all I could
think of for five minutes.
Apparently five minutes is--
you can get all the exercise you need in a day.
So I thought I would put this to a test.
Andy, meet me over there.
OK.
Thank you.
Hi, Andy.
Hi, Ellen.
Nice to see you.
How often do you do some form of a physical exercise?
I try and do a slow paced walk at least five days a week.
Yeah, and how many miles are you doing this slow walk?
There's not a lot.
There's not a lot of distance covered
but I feel good after it.
OK, that's the important thing.
Yeah.
All right, how is that movement do--
I don't do this stuff.
All right, well you're gonna.
OK, so we're going to start the clock.
You're going to go for five minutes.
And I have a whistle I'll blow when it's--
Five minutes?
Yeah, five minutes.
You'll get all the exercise you need.
I'm helping you.
I'm thinking of you.
I know you are.
All right, let's start with jumping jacks.
You know how to do those?
Yep.
Yep, you've done them before.
Yep.
[MUSIC - DONNA SUMMERS, "HOT STUFF"]
(SINGING) Looking for some hot stuff.
That.
Wait, is a out?
Like that?
Yeah or try it the other way.
Try it the other way.
What's the other way?
But I did it right.
Yeah, there is no other way.
I just wanted to see what you'd do.
All right, thank you.
OK.
Oh you're done?
No, I--
[WHISTLE]
OK you're done.
OK, I want you to hula hoop.
Do you know how to hula hoop?
Not well.
Oh, no not when it gets to the ground.
You do that when it's higher up.
Yep.
Oh.
I don't have the hip thing.
Yep, yep, go.
Oh, your wife is a lucky woman.
Yeah, OK let's move on to jumping rope.
Are you good at that?
Probably not.
OK.
I don't believe in all this stuff.
You don't believe in it?
Yeah.
It's not like it's Santa Claus.
What does that mean, you don't believe in it?
Just this I can do if you--
And jump, one, two.
What?
What is--
I need to do the beat.
Hang on, and jump, one, two.
And jump, one, two.
Jump, one, two.
Jump one, two.
And jump, one.
What do you mean you have to do, and jump, one, two, and jump--
I don't know, it helps me keep--
Wow, all right.
That' s how they taught me at Jewish school.
All right.
All right, you're going to do some squats.
Do you know how to do squats?
I'm not good at them.
Well just try.
Let's see, I'll be the judge of that.
I don't remember what they are.
Like this?
What?
Let me see-- show me--
Show me a squat.
No, show me what you were going to do.
One, Two.
That's a-- No, how is that a squat?
That's a bend.
No,
Oh yeah.
A squat is.
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
Yes, down low.
Yep.
And up.
OK.
And low.
I love that you are bowing at the squat.
All right.
Good.
Do you know how to do these?
I think you have to lie on your side, right?
Sure.
Let's see you lie on your side.
You also could be standing but I'd like to see you lay.
[GRUNTING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
That seems like--
That was unfortunate
Yeah that is unfortunate.
You have it pretty close to you.
Can you just position it for me?
No.
I don't know the position.
I cannot position it for you.
OK.
You could do it standing up.
I don't know why you have to lay down.
Oh I thought-- That's how Suzanne Summers did it.
That's how Suzanne Summers did it?
So then you just go like this.
All right.
Oh I have it.
I got it.
Go ahead, what else you got for me?
All right.
Then,
Yeah.
You have to-- OK, get rid of that.
OK.
That's not working.
No.
OK.
That's not a good one.
This, kind of sit on it.
I know, you--
And then you kind of do-- balance on it.
Put your legs out.
Legs off?
It's all core.
It's all-- yeah balance.
What does this do for you?
It's core, balance.
Maybe if you do your, and one and two.
OK.
And one and two and one and two and one--
There's no way five minutes isn't up already.
OK.
All right.
Do you have nothing else?
Let's go to break.
Wait,
[INAUDIBLE] dance.
Try it like that.
And balance, two, three, four.
All right, all right.