♪ (old-school video game music) ♪
- "Portal." Is that what this is called, Portal?
- This is one of those games where I was like,
"I should probably play this," but I never got to it.
- This is like a puzzle game, right?
- Oh! Portal! I know this one.
It's something about the cake being a lie.
- (Finebros) Today we're going to have you try out a few levels.
- Okay.
- (Finebros) Think you're ready? - I'm excited.
This is gonna be good.
I feel like I have a good chance at winning these puzzle games,
but honestly I don't know.
♪ (in game: jazzy music) ♪ - (singsong) Here we go!
- We've got some funky music playing.
- Oh, okay, first-person.
- What is that? That counting-down thing?
Why am I being timed already?
- Do I have to get out in a minute?
How-- how do I control myself?
- W... S... A...
(intercom turns on) - (GLaDOS) Hello, and again,
welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided Enrichment Center.
Keep in mind that, although fun and learning
are the primary goals of all Enrichment Center activities,
serious injuries may occur. - This is really weird.
- (GLaDOS) The portal will open in three... two...
- That was weird. - (GLaDOS) ...one.
- Just throwing me in, all right.
- Oh, look at that woman. What is she doing?
(warbling) ♪ (jazzy music) ♪
- Oh wait...
(warbling) Oh my gosh! Is that me?
- Oh! Oh, hey!
- Oh! Ah, whoaaaa!
- All right, you know what? I'm done with this trippy stuff. Let's go.
- I love it already. Okay, now what?
- (in game: air hisses) - Whoa. What are these blocks?
- I don't even know what's going on. - (in game: air hisses)
(cube clatters)
- E to pick up an object.
- Mm, okay, so this is an easy one. Just pick up the box.
- Do I place it here? (button beeps)
- And go on the thing. - (GLaDOS) Excellent.
Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test.
- I'm glad we're starting off easy. (door whirs)
- I am kind of disappointed that there's no elevator music.
- Can I go down the hall?
- (British accent) Aperture lab-- laboratories, 01.
- All right, let's do this.
(in game: faint humming)
- Oh gosh, I hope I didn't hurt myself.
(warbling)
- (hushed) Oh, what is happening?
What--? I-I can't get to the thing.
Oh, here's the cube.
- Oh, is this-- oh! Okay, I see what's going on. All right.
- Come with me. (buzzing noise)
- Oh... where's the portal?
(buzzing noise) (clang)
- Oop.
- Is this gonna turn back?
(warbling) - There we go, okay.
(buzzing and faint humming) - I guess it's timed.
- And then-- (gasps) now I have to take it back.
Oh, sh-- god, this is so confusing.
(clang) Okay, gooooo!
(buzzing noise) (cube bangs into something)
Where did the block go? No.
(warbling) There you are! Okay.
We need to get you-- and we need to go, go, go, go go. Yes.
- And then we wait for the other room,
and then we put the thing down on the thing.
(button beeps) - (GLaDOS) Perfect.
Please move quickly to the chamberlock.
- Awesome.
(faint humming) Now what?
- Now I can leave. (warbling)
Yes!
- All right, uh, time to go through there. Yep.
- Take me to a harder level.
On second thought, don't take me to a harder level.
I'll probably be there for hours.
- (GLaDOS) You're doing very well. - Thank you!
- (GLaDOS) Please be advised that a noticeable taste
of blood is not part of any test protocol.
- Sounds dangerous. I'm ready.
(door whirs) - Um, let's go through the thing.
And, uh-- whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
(buzzing) - Oh, okay! What is that?
- Think that's the gun right there.
- It's the portal gun thingie.
- Can I touch the portal gun? (gun zaps)
Oh! - (GLaDOS) Very good.
You are now in possession of the Aperture Science
handheld portal device.
With it, you can create your own portals.
Under no circumstances should you-- (static, GLaDOs stops talking)
(harsh static) - That was probably something important.
♪ (suspenseful music) ♪ - So maybe I need to create
a portal and go into it? (gun zaps)
Like that? (in game: bloop)
Oh, look, this is open now. This wasn't open before.
- What? (gun zaps)
Whoa! It's me! I wanna chase me.
Okay. (laughs) I like this.
Oh, it opened. Cool.
- All right, let's go. (gun zaps)
(door whirs)
(footsteps)
- What is this? - (GLaDOS) Please proceed...
- Yes! Level 03. - ...to the chamberlock.
- All right, I need to get over there.
But let's put a portal there. (clicks tongue) Ooh!
♪ (suspenseful music) ♪
(gun zaps) - How do I shoot the red one?
Wait, where is this gonna take me? What the-- where am I?
Oh, did I make it over the things? Sweet.
(gun zaps) - (GLaDOS) To ensure the safe performance
of all authorized--
- I killed the camera. Okay. Oh my gosh!
- (GLaDOS) ...testing apparatus.
- Now how do I get up there?
Let's just shoot things until we feel like it's right.
- Is there any way I could just walk over there?
(gun zaps) - Oh.
Everywhere I go, it's the same.
- (sighs) Is this the same room?
- Okay, this is the spawning point.
Any time I shoot, I somehow end up in this exact spot.
- Okay, so I have to get to that elevator over there.
- Oh, I could do that and then go through--
Oh! Oh! Ohhh!
- If I put one there, and then if I go through the orange one,
I end up at the blue one!
- (GLaDOS) Well done.
Remember: the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day
is the perfect time to have her tested.
(intercom turns off)
- I'm actually surprised that she's not degrading me that much.
- All right, here we go, boys.
- (GLaDOS) Welcome to test chamber-- - Level 04, baby!
- (GLaDOS) You're doing quite well.
- I like how she says "quite well."
It makes me feel like I'm actually doing a good job.
- There's no cube here? Like, there's no cube?
(in game: air hisses) (cube clatters)
- Oh, there's the cube!
- I could drop down here, make a portal here, grab this.
- Grab this thing, and I bring it over here.
(button beeps) - (GLaDOS) One second.
Excellent work.
- Boom! Science! - (GLaDOS) ...protocol.
We will not monitor the next test chamber.
You will be entirely on your own. Good luck.
- All right, then. So I'm on my own?
- All right, we're on level 05 now.
- (grumpily) You said you wouldn't monitor me!
- Uh, okay, so that's my orange portal. That's a cube.
- We need two blocks.
- Oh, I know, I know.
(gun zaps)
Wait, how do I get up there now? Dang it.
(gun zaps) (warbling)
- Why is-- how do I get-- oh.
(warbling)
- Okay, what do I do?
I need to get over there, to the other platform
so that I can get the little block.
- So do one over there and go through here.
- Aaah!
Which one do I put it on though? There's so many?
(button beeps) - So pro. So pro.
- But where's the other block?
- I don't know what to do!
Is there one down here? There is!
- Oh. (gun zaps)
(clang) - Bam. Let's go.
- I'm getting good at this now 'cause I'm figuring out what I have to do.
- This is really bringing up my ego here.
Not only am I a woman character, but I'm getting good at this game.
- Easy peasy mac n' cheesy.
(intercom turns on) (GLaDOS) As part of a required test protocol,
our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor
this chamber was an outright fabrication.
I knew it, you bitch! - (GLaDOS) Good job.
- All right, what do I do now?
Oh, okay, I see. I have to fall.
(gun zaps)
(faint humming) - Whoa.
(buzzing noise) (thud)
- Whoa. (chuckles)
- Aah! Oh shoot. Ugh.
- I'm on this glass thing? (zaps gun)
(anxious groan) - (GLaDOS) Certain objects may be vital
to your success. - I don't care! I'm so scared!
Am I allowed to go through? Okay, okay.
- Now we know that GLaDOS can lie to us.
Maybe this whole thing's a lie.
- All right, let's go!
- Level 06, here we go.
- (GLaDOS) While safety is one of many Enrichment...
- What is this? - (GLaDOS) ...Center goals,
the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet
can and has caused permanent disabilities such as vaporization.
Oh, so that will vaporize me?
- Something could potentially kill me now, I think.
- That thing is saying, "Don't touch the flying object."
- Whaaaaaa! (explosion)
Whoa! I should not have done that.
(sharp buzzing) (giggling) Why did I do that?
Oh, I'm like... okay. A second life. I'm not gonna do that.
(sharp buzzing) (boom)
- That is somehow connected to this.
I need to get up there.
- So they want me to put the weird floating thing over here.
Um... shoot! (gun zaps)
Nope. (gun zaps)
Come on, they don't let me shoot anywhere.
No! (warbling)
Oh, I can shoot on the floor. Oooooh!
It's coming closer. How do I move you?
What if I just nudge it?
Nnnnnnnudging it!
(sudden crash)
- Oh, I died.
- What if I put it here and the plasma ball hit up there?
(faint buzzing)
- Yeah, there we go. - (GLaDOS) Unbelievable.
You, subject name here, must be the pride... - "Subject name here?"
- (GLaDOS) ...your hometown here. (intercom turns off)
(door whirs) - I don't even have a name.
- (sighs) Okay.
- Okay, so we need to get this guy to go up here.
- Automatically, I'm thinking I gotta put a portal there.
- All right, so I think we're gonna need to kill that first, right?
(gun zaps)
So now it's gonna go up there.
- Oh! That one was easy. - (GLaDOS) Now use the Aperture Science
Unstationary scaffold to reach the chamberlock.
- So I gotta get on that thing.
- Okay, I gotta reach the chamberlock.
(clicks mouse) (gun zaps)
(anxious groan)
Aw, I didn't make it.
(surprised) Wait, what? Can I not shoot that wall?
Aw, dang it.
- I'm gonna try and shoot here, and then... higher,
and then jump.
I gotta go.
(groans) No, it's right there!
(frazzled) How is this not working?
(gun zapping)
- No. This isn't-- ooh!
There is a thing up there.
- Oh, I see-- okay. So I'm gonna have to put a portal up there
and get on right when the time's right.
- Wha-- (relieved) oh.
- Now I just gotta jump without falling.
- All right, in! Success!
- (in game: buzzing noise) - Level 07, complete.
(door whirs) So far, I'm doing a lot better
than I thought I would, to be honest.
- So we are in level 08 now.
- (GLaDOS) Please note that we have added a consequence for failure.
Any contact with the chamber floor will result
in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record...
- (hushed) Jeez. - (GLaDOS) ...followed by death.
Good luck. (intercom turns off)
- All right, so I guess I can't touch the floor.
This is me being five years old
and pretending the floor is lava all over again.
- The floor is now officially lava.
- Oh, I have trained for this as a child.
- No, but that's what I liked about this game.
(gun zaps) There weren't consequences for failing.
(warbling)
The fail-- (explosion)
What?
(pulsating hum)
(explosion) - [Bleep]. What the heck?
I thought she meant I couldn't touch that stuff.
(pulsating hum)
(explosion) - I need to think about this.
- But if I put the portal there, then it's gonna go through here
and bounce against that wall and then back into the portal.
- (sudden gasp) I know. Right there, there needs to be a portal. Yeah.
- Okay! So I capture it right here,
and it goes through and then it bounces off there, into there.
- So once it goes through here I can have it...
(gun zaps) Oh no. Okay, I think I got it.
I think I got it now. It will come out through here now. Yeah.
- Yes? Let's put it there.
Oh no! We needed to put it there.
(gasps) Oh no! I got it.
(explosion) Yeaaah!
- What's happening?
Okay, now I have to figure out what to do now.
- So now I need to get on that platform...
so let's go through here first.
(warbling)
(gun zaps)
- There we go.
(platform hums) - Oh my god. Am I already moving?
Okay, this is really scary 'cause I don't wanna fall off.
Okay, and then... JUMP!
- (GLaDOS) Very impressive. - Nooooooo!
- Let's get on to level 09. - (GLaDOS) Very impressive.
Please note that any appearance of danger
is merely a device to enhance your testing experience.
- (sarcastically) "Enhance."
- I still don't understand why I'm being tested.
- Next level. Number 09. - (GLaDOS) The Enrichment Center regrets
to inform you that this next test is impossible.
- Oh.
- Okay, level 09's impossible.
I mean, it can't be impossible 'cause they made 10 more.
- I gotta throw-- take that. Put it over there.
- Oop.
Wait, what happened? What the heck?
(cube clatters) I broke it.
- Oh, but this makes all the cubes disappear.
- (GLaDOS) The Enrichment Center apologizes
for this clearly broken test chamber.
- No, no, no, no. It's not broken. I got this.
Okay. (cube clangs)
Let's just see what happens if we go through here.
- Oh! Now make another portal?
(intercom turns on) - (GLaDOS) Quit now and cake
will be served immediately. - Ooh, I really want that cake.
- Is that supposed to be my reward at the end?
Oh wait, this is that game where they're always talking about
how the cake is a lie or whatever.
- So now we have to stay right here. You wait right there.
And now we're gonna shoot a portal through there.
(gun zaps)
Aah, it's not going through!
(cube clangs) - Ooh, can I--? Wait.
(types) (whispers) And then...
(gun zaps)
Heh!
- And then make a new portal, like, there maybe?
Yes? (cube clangs)
Yeah, I move it down here.
Okay, yeah, now let's fall together. Good.
- Let's go. (clicking mouse)
Bam! - (GLaDOS) Fantastic.
You remained resolute and resourceful
in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.
(intercom turns off) - I know. I totally got--
Oh, so that's the test.
It was like, "Can you still succeed when you're surrounded by pessimism?"
(door creaks) - Let's go, boys.
- Okay, so where is the door? Where's the other portal thing?
Okay, I can't see it.
- All right, I have to get up there so...
- Up-- oh, it's up there.
- So what if I just put it on the floor...
(warbling) ...and then- waaargh!
(giggling) Oh gosh, that was so trippy.
- (anxiously) I'm slightly concerned.
(warbling) Okay, that worked.
- All right, so this one is if you jump down it's gonna shoot me up,
and then there's a portal up there, so let's go.
- The signs are telling me to fall down, I think. Yeah?
(irritated) This is so confusing.
The orange portal is up there.
Okay, so create a portal.
Okay. (warbling)
Okay, what's going on? - (GLaDOS) Spectacular.
(gun zaps) - Oh, so I gotta jump down there
and I'll fly out from right there.
- And... eeeeeh!
YES! - (GLaDOS) Spectacular.
- I understand physics! - (GLaDOS) ...how a portal affects
forward momentum.
- So now I know how... how you can use a portal
to do what I just did.
- That was good. I liked that. Don't really know what I did.
- All right, so here's where my portal is.
- Okay, so this is like the opposite kind of deal,
where it's on the floor this time.
- So we're gonna put a portal up there, I think,
and jump down here.
- Oh... whoa. Uh... - (GLaDOS) Momentum...
- I like that. - (GLaDOS) ...a function of mass
and velocity, is conserved between portals.
In layman's terms: speedy-thing goes in, speedy-thing comes out.
- Yes, I understood that.
And alley-oop! (warbling)
Whoa-ho, physics!
(warbling) - (high-pitched) Aaaah!
There we go.
- I think I'm on level 11. Yeah!
- (Finebros) That's where we're gonna stop for today.
- (disappointed) Oh.
- Aw, man, no!
- I really liked it and was also really confused by it.
- I like that it challenges you to think a little bit.
Not many games do that nowadays.
- I've never really played puzzle games before.
It's always been like, "Let's just shoot at things
and kill things that have blood coming out of them."
With this one, you're shooting a different kind of things
and you're working your way through walls
and it makes you feel smart.
- Thanks for watching us play Portal on the React channel.
- What games should we play next? Let us know in the comments.
- Subscribe to get new gaming episodes.
- Bye, everyone. We'll see ya next time.
- Pew! Pew!
Bye, guys!
♪ (old-school video game music) ♪