at 23 I was responsible for taking her
life
[Music]
never did I think when I was in the
fifth sixth seventh eighth grade that
at 23 I knew responsible for for taking
the life of somebody was a Friday night
2009 July 17 we decided to go to the bar
I was 23 now so I was allowed to go to
the bar legally even though I wasn't
supposed to be there because three
months prior to this I had just got a
DUI so I had no license and I was on
probation my buddies we were all going
to the bar and they said Nathan are you
driving I said oh no absolutely not I
don't have a license I'm on probation I
don't supposed to be doing it so I had
drank and consumed a half a fifth of
whiskey and 13 shots of tequila I was
drunk a girl named Priscilla Owens who
had just moved from Alabama
she had three weeks previous had moved
up to Indiana to Marion she was from
there when she was a kid she was a
little older than all of us
[Music]
Priscilla shows up and she was going to
be my designated driver she was the one
that was supposed to take me to start
the fire she comes to get me my friend
mike says Nathan you're not driving
right I said oh no man I'm drunk I'm not
driving she isshe's went into being a
driver we got this we're going out to
TJ's we're starting the fire I'll see
you in a little bit cool we shook up and
we're out the door but in the process of
leaving that bar to getting to the car
there's one question that I'm never
gonna have probably ever have answered
and I can't quite put my finger on it
but somehow when I
that bar priscilla gave me her keys i
[Music]
remember these next few moments I
remember the atmosphere I remember what
was being said I remember what
everything every part of it I remember
the shorts that I had on I remember more
clearly than anything the next words I
heard out of Priscilla's mouth
I remember him so clearly every vowel
every consonant articulated so precisely
and it was so clear as crystal clear as
day well the next words I heard from
Priscilla were simply this tree
[Music]
and I woke up in a hospital bed paradox
at work they said this and said when
they arrived on scene
but there was only one person in the
vehicle theme and that I named the tree
going anywhere from 60 to 62 miles an
hour
there was no greatest enemy to try to
stop
and when I hit that tree that case of
beer bottles that was behind her
catapulted forward at impact and they
will win a Brazil who didn't have a seat
not on cat important for it impact
and that thing called the windshield in
your car and that case of beer bottles
met with Priscilla in between
and she slid down to the floorboard and
her necks rested on the middle console
so I stayed up all night that night he
know what the paper had read to lifeline
in a serious accident took him to part
of you hospital nobody would tell me if
she was alive she was dead I had no idea
but I knew the paper said to them that
morning and if she was alive when she
passed away the paper would probably say
something the next morning the paper man
shows up at like 4:00 a.m. he comes
driving by everything slows down like a
movie he rolls the window he throws the
paper at hits boom I jump up grab it I
rip open the rubber band I roll it open
and there's the headline crash victim
dies
at 23
I was responsible for taking her life
never did I think when I was in the
fifth sixth seventh eighth grade that at
23 I knew responsible for for taking the
life of somebody what happened though is
the family wanted me to contact them
right after that and I called and what
do you say to that you know what do you
say I'm sorry but I called and the
family said Nathan listen consider was
sober was her vehicle we can't put all
the blame on you which I didn't agree
with
I was solely a blame I was a driver I
don't care how drunk I was it was my
fault but they said listen there's no
reason for two families to be destroyed
we want you to know that we we love you
even though we don't know you we forgive
you even that we don't know you but do
us a favor just trying to make the world
a better place
try to don't let Priscilla die for
nothing
just make a difference what I do my life
speaks louder than words because when I
begin to changed my life I'm gonna learn
to make good choices I'm going to be
responsible I'm gonna be dedicated I'm
gonna have good characters and morals
and values I'm gonna open up when wrong
I'm gonna be truthful I'm gonna stand up
for what I know is right and I don't
like anybody changed me and maybe that's
not where you're at right now but you
can get there and these are the
attributes of success man if you want
something
you gotta be willing to do what nobody
else has done if you keep doing the same
thing you've always done it's the end
it's the definition of insanity if you
want to change you're gonna have to be
willing to change good choices will
always have good results and I was
making a lot of bad choices and all the
bad decisions and I was basing my value
my words off your opinions and I learned
something listen to me everybody in here
what you to understand something your
value is never based on any of the
opinions of anybody in this room who
cares what anybody thinks or says about
you they are not your merit system they
are not your system of worth you are who
you say you are by your actions but the
choice in the decisions that we make
have consequences good or bad
when I went to prison at 23 listen I
came from a broken family I had been
labeled and unmarked and identified I
had battled hurts and pains and wounds I
had suicidal thoughts and I had battled
so far me drugs and alcohol it consumed
me I lost all dreams and goals I felt
like I had made too many mistakes to
change listen I felt like what I had
every reason to say you know what life
is too tough and I quit I live with
these three principles and I promise you
man they will change everything about
who you are hard work works make good
choices good things happen and value
people I decided ten years ago literally
when this all happened
and went to prison I wanted to be I was
like you know what I want to make this
promise I want to keep it to this family
I come from out of brokenness I don't
know where to start but what I do know
is the importance of the choices that I
make and so literally I wrote the word
change the world
and I slapped it on a little prison cell
window and every single day I woke up
and I realized make good choices great
things happen aim small miss small make
good choices great things happen you see
every choice that I can make listen I
can't control what you think about me I
can't control your opinion of me I can't
control what you say about me but I
control how I react respond and what I
do with my life
I'm in control of my life I don't let
external factors control me I'm in
control of my life because sometimes a
life can be tough life can be
challenging
[Music]
and sometimes the opticals in front of
you seem like they're too big it's
easier to stelae down but you know what
I remembered I remember what my dad used
to look at me on the kids said listen
Nathan life it's never gonna give you
anything but if you make it if you build
it nobody can take it from you because
hardwork and tenacity and refusing to
quit with chasing your dream you'll get
there I promise you maybe you don't hit
the start if you let on the moon you
don't still give up when you go after
and you stop care about the opinions of
people around you stop the landing
everybody from your hurts take ownership
of your life take off your mask
don't be the bear make good choices be a
best friend encourage somebody be a
voice of hope and inspiration this is
your moment
[Music]
you