• From getting out of doing homework to covering up a theft, the Planet Dolan crew
re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the best lies we ever
told as kids that we got away with.
I’m Danger Dolan – or Danger Dolan’s Mysterious Brother and today I’ll be your
narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by Blue_lover_girl03 Nixxiom
When Nixxiom was in elementary school, there was this mean boy that would hit him and take
his stuff.
He had a crush on this new girl, and Nixxiom lied to her saying that he killed a puppy
because she liked puppies and owns one.
So she went over to the boy and kicked him and spat in his face and said, "Don't you
ever come near me you shitbag puppy killer!"
He cried and went over to the teacher.
Since she was new she got away with it, and Nixxiom also told teacher that he was a bully.
She became his BFF, and the boy never pissed them off again...
Number 9 was submitted by Tinamarii Tolop When Tolop was little, him and his brother
where fighting over an apple.
His brother had a knife and stabbed Tolop in the hand.
At first, Tolop was laughing until he saw his bone, but his brother got scared that
he was going to get in a lot of trouble.
So when their mom came in, Tolop smashed a snow globe on the ground and told her that
it was just glass, and that he only needed a couple of stitches.
That's the best lie Tolop ever got away with.
Number 8 was submitted by King_Kasshoku DD’s Bro
DD’s Bro was around 8-years old, and every day after dinner his mom would give him and
his siblings some candy.
She had two closets, a big one where she stored her clothes and shoes and a smaller one where
she stored extra stuff including the candy.
She had put a lock on the candy closet so they wouldn't eat it all.
But one day, while she was in the basement washing clothes, DD’s Bro went into her
room and tried to look for the key but had no luck.
He got desperate and tried to use a paper clip and a sewing needle.
Well his mom had caught him in the act, and DD’s Bro told her that he wanted to be like
Snake from Metal Gear Solid.
She laughed at him and took the needle and paper clip so he wouldn't hurt himself.
She told him to go play somewhere else and not to play with sharp items.
DD’s Bro got off lucky because his mom is usually very perceptive.
Not long after that, she bought him a Snake action figure.
Meanwhile, all I got was Liquid.
Number 7 was submitted by crazycam10 Slapped Ham
When Slapped Ham was about 8, he would sneak upstairs when nobody was home and eat lots
of food.
His parents had no idea… until one day when they found a couple drops of a melted pineapple-flavored
Mr. Freeze on the carpet.
At the time they had two cats, and Slapped Ham lied and said that one of the cats had
pissed on the carpet… and they believed him.
After that, they never suspected a thing.
Number 6 was submitted by xXAmberthegamerXx Melissa
One day, Melissa and her parents were at Walmart after they picked her up from school.
She saw huge bags of candy and wanted one very bad.
So she waited for her parents to look away, and Melissa hid from the cameras as she stuffed
as many bags of candy into her backpack as she could.
When they got home, Melissa’s parents asked her what was in the bag.
She hesitated, and said homework… and they believed her!
They told her to do it now, so she went into her room and ate a bag full of candy.
Melissa hid the rest in her stuffed animals.
Number 5 was submitted by MightyMiracles Pringle When Pringle was in sixth grade, his teacher
was giving his class the end of the year history test.
Because he didn't study for it, Pringle told the teacher that he was sick and acted as
if he was going to throw up.
She told him to tough it out, so Pringle elaborated and touched the back of his throat with his
finger to make himself throw up when the teacher wasn't looking.
He sat in the back of the class so she couldn't see him.
Pringle eventually did throw up, and threw up more than he expected.
Most of his lunch came up, and he had been drinking Hawaiian Punch before so it had a
red color to it, making it look like blood.
The teacher saw the puke and started to freak out, thinking he was throwing up blood.
She sent him to the nurse’s office and called his mom, considering she was a doctor.
Somehow Pringle’s mom bought the story that he was sick but she figured the fake blood
was the Hawaiian Punch she had packed him like she did every day.
Pringle was sent home and got to study for the test, which he took the next day and passed
with a B.
Number 4 was submitted by zaribowza GhostToast Turns out GhostToast had stolen $100 from
his teacher.
She ask the class who stole the money.
Out of panic, somehow GhostToast sneaked the money in his underwear.
The teacher asked him if he stole the money, and he told her no but then saw the janitor
come in.
When they interviewed him, they found $100 in his pocket and they suspected it to be
the teacher’s money.
On the fly, the janitor got fired on the spot and literally no one EVER hired him.
Though GhostToast ruined his life, he still got to keep the money.
Number 3 was submitted by 9kirby99 Hellbent Hellbent was at a day camp when he was 10.
A bunch of kids, including himself, were walking between activities, with counselors leading
them.
They were passing a big, rocky ditch, and for some reason, Hellbent had the strong compulsion
to push a fellow camper in.
He followed that weird instinct, and pushed him in.
The weird thing?
Hellbent managed to convince everyone he fell.
The kid got hurt, and even HE believed he fell on his own.
To this day, Hellbent is clueless as to what compelled him to do that.
He’s generally a nice guy, completely non-violent.
Number 2 was submitted by ComradeVadim Shima So at high school, Shima was a notorious liar.
It got to the point where people got angry at the amount of work she got away with not
doing.
However, her proudest lie, her Coup De Grace, was phenomenal.
She managed to convince her Spanish teacher that her dog had eaten her homework.
There are two reasons this was a spectacular lie.
Number 1, it’s so clearly a lie that it made sense to use it for reverse psychology.
No one would use that lie unless it wasn't a lie.
Number 2, Shima never owned a dog.
She created a fictitious dog overnight, just in case anyone asked any questions, and was
able to convince the teacher that the dog had eaten her work.
The following week, Shima had again not done her homework, and managed to convince her
that the dog had died of ink poisoning, though from that point on she always seemed highly
suspicious.
She ensured that Shima did all her work from then on.
so number one will be my personal story so back when I was as a kid I managed to
convince a friend that aliens were in my yard and they regularly visitted every
night and that I managed to keep them away by attacking them with a baseball
bat and everyday they'd ask me more questions about the aliens .Dolan what they
look like.
Dolan did they come back.
Dolan what did your parents do.
Dolan where are the aliens.
Are they really invading earth?
I'm like yeah dude, they're grey, they're thin, they're allergic to things you use in
sports, all of this is true and more.
and a flying saucer comes by every night and this kid believed me for months possibly
years of course i made this up and that was only because i saw that episode of
south park where the grey aliens come down and anally probed Cartman and then
my friend eventually saw that episode was like Dolan you're such a bullshit artist
and I'm like yeah but you believed me
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What was the worst punishment your parents ever
gave you?”
Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured
in a future countdown.