HELLO, EVERYBODY!
I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT HOUDINI
AND HIS FIGHT AGAINST SPIRITUALISM
WITH SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE.
[dramatic music]
AFTER WORLD WAR I,
EVERYONE WAS OBSESSED WITH SPIRITUALISM.
THEY FELT THAT RELIGIOUS BITS AND SCIENTIFIC BITS
WORKED TOGETHER AND MADE SPIRITUALISM.
HARRY HOUDINI,
THE GREATEST MAGICIAN ESCAPE ARTIST OF ALL TIME.
HOUDINI KNEW SPIRITUALISM WAS BULL[bleep]
BECAUSE HE HAD DONE IT HIMSELF, WHEN HE STARTED OUT.
HE'D SEND HIS WIFE AHEAD OF HIM,
AND SHE WAS LIKE, I'M A BIBLE SALESMAN.
LOOK, OUR BIBLES ARE BETTER THAN YOUR BIBLE.
AND THROUGH THE INFORMATION THAT SHE WOULD GIVE HIM,
HE COULD PRETTY MUCH TELL, LIKE, OH, SO, YOUR UNCLE,
WHO HAD A MUSTACHE,
OR YOUR SO-AND-SO THAT HAD THIS AND THAT, WHATEVER.
THOSE PEOPLE, THEY'RE LIKE--[gasps]
HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
OH, MY GOD. YEAH, HE KNOWS.
HOUDINI AND SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
BECAME GOOD FRIENDS.
SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE, HE WROTE SHERLOCK HOLMES...
AND ALL THAT STUFF.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE, HE WAS LIKE,
SPIRITUALISM IS THE [bleep]!
I LOVE IT!
THIS IS HOW EVERYTHING NEEDS TO HAPPEN.
THIS IS-- WHATEVER THIS RELIGION IS,
THIS NEEDS-- EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS.
HOUDINI HELD HIS TONGUE. HE KNEW IT WAS BULL[bleep].
SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE WAS LIKE,
I WANT YOU TO SIT DOWN AND HAVE THIS SEANCE,
AND I HAVE-- MY WIFE IS GOING TO SPEAK
YOUR MOTHER'S WORDS THROUGH HANDWRITING.
REALLY?
HOUDINI, SHUT THE [bleep] UP.
JUST QUIET DOWN.
I KNOW YOU'RE SKEPTICAL. LET'S JUST DO THIS.
- THE-- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR--
SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE, HIS WIFE IS LIKE,
YAY! WE'RE ALL HERE. WE'RE DOING THIS SEANCE.
LET'S SPEAK TO HOUDINI'S MOTHER.
SO THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
OH!
MY SON, I'M SO HAPPY TO SPEAK TO YOU!
OH, THIS IS SO WONDERFUL!
OH, THANK GOD FOR YOU AND SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE!
MR. SHERLOCK--
OKAY, WELL, MOTHER, UM...
CAN YOU READ MY MIND?
[laughs] OF COURSE!
I'VE ALWAYS READ MY SON'S MIND.
THIS IS--THIS IS GREAT!
UH, UM, YES. [wand clatters]
I--SORRY I DROPPED THAT WAND.
BUT YES, I'M GONNA PUT A CROSS ON TOP OF THIS THING.
SHE WROTE A CROSS ON THE TOP OF THE THING.
MRS. HOUDINI WAS JEWISH.
AFTER SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE AND HIS WIFE
[bleep]ED HIM OVER, HE REALIZED THAT...
WHO HE-- ONE, TWO, THREE--
HE--HE BECAME ANGRY. HE'S LIKE, [bleep]!
I'M GOING TO FALSIFY EVERY [bleep]ING SPIRITUALIST
THAT I COME ACROSS.
HOUDINI WOULD GO AROUND IN DISGUISE
TO EVERY SPIRITUALIST MEDIUM THAT HE COULD FIND
AND WOULD DISCREDIT 'EM,
LIKE, I WANNA TALK ABOUT MY DEAD SON.
AND THE SPIRITUALIST WAS LIKE,
OH, WELL, YOUR SON IS SO-AND-SO AND DOING THIS.
AND HE'S LIKE, HEY! [bleep] YOU!
I'M HOUDINI!
I'M NOT THAT GUY YOU JUST SAW.
[bleep] OFF.
- [whispering] ONE, TWO, THREE.
ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW?
- WHAT WAS THE "ONE, TWO, THREE"?
WHERE DID THAT-- WHERE DID YOU START DOING THAT?
- [laughs]
I DO IT SO WHEN I KNOW, LIKE, WHEN I'M TOO DRUNK--
ONE, TWO, THREE--
THAT I CAN BE-- [laughs]
THAT I CAN BE GOOD TO MYSELF, WHICH IS NOT WORKING,
BUT IT'S FINE.
SO NEAR THE END OF HIS CAREER,
HOUDINI WENT INTO A COLLEGE TOWN.
ONE OF THE COLLEGE STUDENTS CAME THROUGH AND WAS LIKE,
HEY! SO I HEAR THAT YOU CAN TAKE ANY PUNCH IN THE WORLD.
HE WAS LIKE, YES, I CAN. WHATEVER, YEAH.
I CAN TAKE WHATEVER PUNCH YOU [bleep]ING WANT.
OKAY, WELL, I WANNA TEST THIS OUT.
THING IS, HOUDINI NEEDS TO, LIKE, STRETCH HIS MUSCLES.
HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO DO THAT.
THE KID JUST [bleep]ING PUNCHES HIM RIGHT THERE.
AND HE'S LIKE, OKAY. THIS [bleep]ING SUCKS.
[belches]
HE'S LIKE, I HAVE TO PUT ON A [bleep]ING SHOW,
BECAUSE I'M HOUDINI.
I HAVE TO PUT ON A [bleep]ING GOOD SHOW FOR MY TOUR.
HE GOES ON STAGE AND DOES HIS SHOW.
104 TEMPERATURE.
HE'S [bleep]ING TERRIBLE.
ONE GUY WHO'D SEEN HIS SHOW EIGHT TIMES WAS LIKE,
SOMETHING'S WRONG.
AFTER THE FIRST ACT, HE PASSES OUT.
THEY REVIVE HIM.
HE GOES THROUGH, HE DOES THE SECOND ACT.
AFTER THE SECOND ACT, HE PASSES OUT AGAIN.
SO HIS WIFE'S LIKE, YOU NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL.
YOUR APPENDIX HAS RUPTURED.
AT THE SAME TIME THAT HOUDINI WAS AGAINST SPIRITUALISM,
HE STILL ASKED HIS WIFE BESS,
IF I DIE, I WANT YOU TO HOLD A SEANCE EVERY YEAR.
IF, DURING THE SEANCE, THESE WORDS COME THROUGH
AND WHATNOT, THEN YOU KNOW THAT IT'S ME.
IF NOT, [bleep] YOU, IT'S SOMEONE ELSE.
HE PASSES OUT AGAIN. THEY REVIVE HIM.
[retching]
- SO DO YOU FEEL BETTER?
- I FEEL 100% BETTER.
SHOW MUST GO [bleep]ING ON.
HE DOES THE THIRD ACT. [bleep] HAPPENS.
AFTER A WHILE--I MEAN, HE'S IN COMPLETE AGONY.
HIS--HIS, YOU KNOW--
BILE, EVERYTHING'S COMING OUT OF HIS APPENDIX.
EVERYTHING'S GOING WRONG.
I-IT'S OBVIOUSLY TOO LATE FOR HIM TO DEAL WITH IT.
HE DIED IN DETROIT, UH, ON HALLOWEEN.
SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE WAS LIKE, IT SUCKS HE DIED.
PEOPLE THINK IT'S BECAUSE OF THE PUNCH.
TRUTHFULLY, THE DOCTOR'S LIKE,
YOU KNOW WHAT? HE ALREADY HAD APPENDICITIS.
SO IT'S FINE.
FOR TEN YEARS, ON HALLOWEEN, THEY'D HAVE THE SEANCE,
AND THEY WOULD BE THERE LIKE, OH, HOUDINI,
IF YOU CAN BREAK THROUGH...
I-IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
HOUDINI'S WIFE BESS IS LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE'S LIVED ON FOR ALL THESE MANY YEARS,
BUT TEN YEARS IS LONG ENOUGH TO WAIT FOR ANY MAN.
SO I HAVE TO EXTINGUISH HIS LIGHT.
I APOLOGIZE.
THEY STILL DO A SEANCE TO SEE IF HE CAN BREAK THROUGH,
AND HE STILL HAS NOT.
- WHAT'S YOUR NAME? - HI, MY NAME IS SECRETS.
PARDON ME. [snickers]
[both laughing]
- VERY SUBTLE.
- OH! LOOK AT ME!
I'M A "MAGI-SHURANS"!
[laughter]