By the end of this video,
I'm going to give you all of them,
so, stay tuned.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I’m a narcissist negotiation expert, a lawyer and an author.
On this channel, in these videos
I give you exact tips, tricks and resources on my secrets
on how to powerfully negotiate with narcissists
because I've had to deal with them and
I am on a mission, I am on a crusade
to take them down to teach the world,
how to negotiate with narcissists
because I've had to deal with them and
I've actually had to deal with covert narcissists.
You'll notice today that I have a special need
to make sure that all of you have all the best information
on how to negotiate with these guys.
So, they are, unfortunately, so easy for me
to come up with great examples.
It's like, I can come up with these like so easily
because the examples are like, they’re hypothetical, of course.
Anyway, I'm giving you 5 ways to expose a covert narcissist.
So, they want to feed off of you.
That's again, very hypothetical.
So, the number one idea is to give them deadlines.
Give them deadlines and then hold them to them.
Because, they are inherently lazy,
they will not want to do that, and
I actually, I've coached a couple of people
who've had covert narcissists business partners, and
it's really interesting how they all have the same playbook,
they kind of think they're just going to attach themselves
to people who actually work hard and have talent, and
they think “Oh well, these person makes me look good” and
“This person actually do all the work” and
in all, just let them do it all.
They initially do stuff.
They initially make it look like
there's a flurry of activity going on.
But then, they kind of just hang back and
they don't really do that much.
So, the way to expose them is just that you start
to have to give them deadlines.
You start to have to kind of make them do stuff and
you actually have to hold them to it and say,
Hey, where's your thing?
You know, whatever it is you gave them deadlines on.
It's a little bit tiresome, frankly after a while.
So, I don't recommend if you kind of know that
you are dealing with a covert narcissist,
I wouldn't recommend getting into either
a relationship or a business partnership with this person.
I would recommend staying the hell away from them,
but if you end up stuck with them and
you're trying to get out of it,
which I do recommend that you do,
part of the way that you can start to
expose them, is give them deadlines.
So, that’s number one.
So, you can make them come up with their own ideas
and then also give them a deadline for that
if you really want to expose them.
I know it sounds mean but,
we're talking about exposing them here.
So, another way that you can expose them
with the making them come up with their own ideas
is have them do it in a group setting.
So, have them come up with their own ideas and
then make them present their ideas in a group setting.
See what they come up with on their own.
That's number two.
I'm not bitter.
It's just that I tend to be overly generous and
I just actually had a whole conversation with
a woman who was my business coach and
one of my dearest friends for a really long time and
she actually said you tend to be overly generous, and
then tend to be taken advantage of.
I'm working on that, just finding the people and
attracting people into my life that
are worth being generous to.
They exist in the world and
I'm attracting them into my life.
So anyway, when you suspect you are dealing with
a covert narcissist or any potential narcissist,
this is number three, by the way,
Please trust your gut.
Do not give them access to things,
do not give them access to your passwords,
do not give them your logins.
This is number three.
Much more on this, much more on this in my video
it's called “This is the only way to get a narcissist to respect you”.
Really good video. Definitely check that out.
So, they will say one thing,
they will do something else.
Their words will not match their behavior,
that will happen a lot,
so you can definitely call them out on that,
such as, they'll say that they were a victim
of someone and then say they don't like that person.
Then, the next thing you know,
they'll be hanging out with that person.
So you can say,
“Oh, I thought you didn't like that person,
I thought you didn't want to spend time with them”.
Ask them why they want to spend time
with them if they don't like them,
something like that.
Or they might say that they were sick and
then all of a sudden, they want to go to an event
that is like really prestigious because they’ll look good
if they end up going to it, that sort of thing,
like you can definitely call them out on their behavior
because they're very much hypocrites.
So, it'll be very easy to find opportunities to do that.
The last one is definitely,
I got caught with this. You don't want to do the same.
Because, guess what?
They will definitely gaslight you.
You know how those covert narcs are.
They love them some gaslighting.
It's definitely one of their favorite little things and so
they will try to manipulate your conversations
“Oh, we talked about that? I don't remember”
“Yes, you agreed to that”, you know they agreed to that,
but they'll say that, that you did and
they try to make you think you're crazy,
it's a way to weaken you,
It's a way to destabilize you, they do that and
I just had a conversation with somebody yesterday
who was like, who’s been gaslit so often
very intelligent woman and
she was like, she didn't even remember for sure
if she had signed like a huge tech a few years ago,
like a hundreds of thousands of dollars.
She was like going to go hire a handwriting expert
to see if she had actually signed a check and
I was like, you’re not gonna hire a handwriting expert,
You're going to say I did not sign that.
I don't remember signing it.
Therefore, I did not sign it.
But, they gaslight you so much,
like you start to question your own mind, right?
So, make sure you follow up every single conversation
like real-time, right away with a text or an email.
“Hello, we just met, we had this conversation and
this is what we talked about, just confirming. Thank you.
Have a nice day”. That will help you and
it will help them and hopefully be continuing
to move closely in the world.
Anyway, those are 5 ways to expose a covert narcissist.
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Remember today is always a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will see you in the next video!