-Today, Republicans exploded into absolute chaos,
unlike here at this show, on what was supposed to be
their first day in charge of the House of Representatives
when a revolt by far-right MAGA members
blocked GOP leader Kevin McCarthy
from winning enough votes to become
speaker on the first two ballots.
It's the first time the House has failed to elect a leader
on the first ballot in a century and will almost certainly lead
to even more GOP infighting and chaos.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪
It would take far too long
to recount all the political tumult
we experienced in the year 2022 --
the January 6th revelations,
the sedition charges for insurrectionists,
the criminal charges for Trump cronies,
the FBI's search of Mar-a-Lago,
the Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade,
the response to Russia's war in Ukraine,
and the shocking midterm election result
that defied decades of historical precedent,
among many other things.
Now, if, after all of that,
you were hoping that 2023 would usher
in a new era of calm and normalcy,
then please allow me to introduce you to one
Rudolph Giuliani, seen here,
realizing he wrote not just 2022 on a check today,
but also that he wrote "bribe" in the memo.
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, Rudy was at Mar-a-Lago
to celebrate New Year's with a bunch of other normal,
well-adjusted people, and to ring in the New Year,
he recorded and then posted online a very bizarre video
where you can't hear a word he's saying.
We're going to show you the video he himself posted online.
But again, none of this will be intelligible to you
since he's completely drowned out by the noise of the party,
but apparently doesn't realize it.
[ Loud, indistinct music playing ]
-[ Indistinct ]
♪♪
-Hats off to the band for playing "Footloose"
for a crowd that is almost certainly
medically incapable of doing the "Footloose" dance.
"Footloose" sounds like an excuse
Rudy would give for being late to a meeting.
"Sorry, boss. I got a foot loose.
The toes on the right one are facing backwards,
so even when I run, I go in a circle."
Also, this is just some advice for anyone
on any screen, myself included.
It's one of the first things I learned in television.
Never lead with your chin.
No one's chin is their finest attribute,
especially when you're 78 years old.
If you fell asleep during Fallon
and woke up to me looking like that,
you would change the channel immediately.
Here, I'll prove it.
Hey.
[ Laughter ]
What happened?
[ Cheers and applause ]
You fall asleep?
You fall asleep during Fallon?
Well, we're happy to have you. Check out the show.
There is one more thing I have to point out
before we move on -- Rudy, has since deleted this video,
but when he originally posted it on Twitter,
he did so with the caption -- and this is 100% real...
Either Rudy forgot what year it was
or he successfully
traveled exactly one year into the future.
And honestly, I think both explanations are feasible.
If Rudy had a DeLorean,
I absolutely believe he would use it
to travel a comically insignificant amount of time.
Rudy, where should we go? Back to the Jurassic era?
Should we kill Hitler or should we travel to the 30th century?
"I say we go one year into the future.
I want to see if my hair grows back.
I've been covering it in chia seeds
and watering it for weeks."
[ Laughter ]
Now, Rudy may have been wrong about what year it is,
but if today's stunning political developments
are any indication, I'm guessing his fellow
Republicans will give anything to fast forward to 2024
because they're currently embroiled
in a chaotic meltdown over the future of their party.
On the very first day they were supposed to be
in charge of the House of Representatives,
GOP leader Kevin McCarthy failed to win enough votes
on the first two ballots to become Speaker of the House --
a monumental failure that has not happened in 100 years.
-Longtime Trump ally Kevin McCarthy
is facing a revolt from far-right members of his caucus
who think the party's only mistake
is not doing more to embrace Trumpism.
-The results of this first round of this high-stakes vote
for a new speaker have now come in.
Republican leader Kevin McCarthy had hoped to take the gavel
immediately after the first ballot.
That will not happen.
The voting will continue this afternoon.
He faces an uphill battle within his own party --
a select few against him, but enough of them to keep him
from getting the votes he needed.
-Congressman Kevin McCarthy, who can only afford
to lose four House Republican votes
if he wants to become the next speaker,
has lost five House Republican votes,
six House Republican votes.
-McCarthy will not win on the second ballot,
on the second vote of the Republican Congress.
-That's right. GOP leader Kevin McCarthy,
who has been fanatically pro-Trump and spent years
ingratiating himself to Trump in the MAGA movement,
is facing a backlash from far-right members
of his own party who think he's not pro-Trump enough.
And if there's one political lesson
we've learned in the past six years
is that there is always someone more pro-Trump whenever.
Whatever line of decency you draw in your head,
someone else is gonna walk right through that mother[bleep].
I mean, even Trump himself knows there are people out there
more pro-Trump than him.
I mean, people get Donald Trump tattoos.
He wouldn't. He also couldn't.
His skinny so tough you'd need a diamond-tip needle
just to leave a light smudge.
So now McCarthy has already lost at least the first two votes,
imperiling his bid to become speaker
and throwing the GOP conference into chaos.
In fact, House Republicans on either side of the fight
have been bickering, calling each other names
and accusing each other of backstabbing and betrayal.
-There's nothing that indicates to me
that he's going to change his pattern
since he's been in leadership
where he's part of the swamp cartel.
If you want to drain the swamp,
you cannot put the biggest alligator
in charge of the exercise. They're like.
Children. This is a this is such a childish attempt
at gaining more and more attention.
You know why they say it like that?
Because they want you to interview them again.
That's why they're doing it.
-I find out that it's my Freedom Caucus colleagues
and my supposed friends that went and did that.
And they asked nothing for me. Nothing.
That's what I found out in there. I'm furious.
-These people want to be taken seriously as a governing party.
Meanwhile, they sound like sorority members
who just got kicked out for drinking too much.
"No one told me there were any rules
against alcohol consumption.
And now I find out from my supposed friends
that butt chugging is not allowed?
Well, I am furious." [ Laughter ]
Now, I'm not saying I'm enjoying all this GOP infighting,
but when I heard about McCarthy's troubles,
I did fly down to Mar-a-Lago to party with Rudy Giuliani.
You should have seen us.
We spent all night pounding shots of whiskey
mixed with prune juice and dancing
to '80s movie soundtracks.
It was like if "White Lotus" took place in a hospice.
[ Laughter ]
Ooh, who do you think is going to die?
Everyone eventually.
Now, as we're taping this, we still don't know
the final outcome, because the House will have to keep voting
until someone is elected speaker.
As of this afternoon, we don't know when that will happen.
There's a chance you know more about what happened
as you're watching this than we do taping it.
It's almost like you traveled eight hours into the future
with Rudy Giuliani. [ Laughter ]
In fact, the outcome is so uncertain heading
in today's vote that many, including Fox News,
were predicting it could take days
or even weeks for the Republicans
to finally elect a speaker.
-McCarthy needs the votes of all
but four House Republicans to win the speakership,
but at least 5 and as many as 14 House Republicans oppose him.
It could be the first time in a century
the speaker's vote isn't settled on the first ballot.
-Back in the Civil War times,
there was one speaker who was not elected for two months
and it took 133 votes.
-Alright, first of all, it's not a great sign
for your party's political fortunes
when pundits are comparing your situation
to something that happened, "back in the Civil War times."
[ Laughter ] Also, diggin' 2023 Steve Doocy
talking like an old prospector
huddled around a campfire with a tin of beans.
"Back in the Civil War times,
there weren't no fancy phones or gizmo.
All we had was our wits. Well, not all of us had them."
[ Laughter ]
So much for my resolution -- to make less fun
of Rudy Giuliani this year.
They all deserve this, especially McCarthy,
who is so desperate for power
he infamously flew down to Mar-a-Lago
for that embarrassing photo op with Donald Trump
just weeks after the January 6th insurrection.
Remember that? McCarthy did everything
he could to cozy up to Trump
and the MAGA circus in the House,
and he's still facing a revolt
from the looniest members of the GOP.
-He is, of course, gotten very close to Donald Trump.
He rehabilitated Donald Trump.
I think all of these things were in an effort
to be able to, when the moment came, to tell these people,
"You can trust me, I'm a conservative.
I'm on your side. I'm with the team."
-I think all of those things were explained by him
wanting to be able to get the gavel on the first ballot today.
And if he doesn't, and it's looking increasingly
like he won't, this will be the first time
we've seen this in our lifetimes.
This is only happened once since the Civil War,
and I think it will badly, badly weaken him.
-Did McCarthy think one visit to Mar-a-Lago
was going to magically solve everything?
That place is the opposite of Disney World.
It's where dreams go to die. [ Laughter ]
Oh, so, no, wait. So it's the same as Disney World.
If you ever find yourself at Mar-a-Lago
and you're not wearing a blue windbreaker
with FBI on the back,
that's how you know you took some wrong turns in life.
It's like waking up at a hotel in Tijuana
with a bag of white powder on your nightstand,
a stranger in your bathtub, and loud knocking on the door
while someone yells, "Policía. Abre la puerta."
You're not, when you hear that, going to look in the mirror
and think to yourself, "This current year,
2024, is off to a great start."
But maybe the craziest aspect of this debacle
was all the speculation beforehand about who,
if anyone, could beat McCarthy if he lost the speaker vote.
Several names were floated before today.
And on Fox News, one of the far-right Republicans
revolting against McCarthy refused to rule out
one of the most farfetched hypotheticals
involving you know who.
-I've heard from people at the House Freedom Caucus
that they like two names out there --
Steve Scalise and Donald Trump.
-Well, I'm sure we do like it, but I don't think
they're the right people for speaker.
They may be, but we should have a conversation.
-That's right. Some of them were actively floating Trump
as a possible speaker of the House before the votes today,
because technically you don't have to be a member of Congress.
In fact, you don't even have to be human, as far as I know.
Republicans could end up picking
a meth-addicted Florida crocodile with a beer can helmet
and a golf cart with a bumper sticker that says,
"My other ride is your mom."
[ Laughter ]
The main reason we did that joke
is to see what Graphics came up with.
There's always a fear after a long hiatus
that their skills will atrophy.
But as you can see, we good.
[ Laughter ]
Anyway -- Yeah, give it up for Graphics.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Anyway, can you imagine Donald Trump
as speaker of the House?
He doesn't even qualify for any of the words in the job title.
He lives in a beach resort, not a house,
and he's not very good at speaking.
-10,000 known or "suspested" gang members...
...controlled by large "derners"...
Every single car out there, even the really "expensis" ones...
God bless the United "Shates."
They sacrifice every day
for the "furniture" -- future of their children.
Unelected "regu-lators" and regulators...
The "corradors" of power or -- They're our "corradors."
They're not their "corradors" These are our "corradors."
-As insane as it would be,
I would love to hear Trump's first address as
Speaker of the House.
"Welcome, everyone, to the [indistinct].
We love our 'corradors,' don't we, folks?
We love corradors because we're the 'core'
and we control the 'doors'
and that's the core, you know?
If you follow -- if you follow me down this corridor,
it'll lead to another corridor which will in turn
lead to a third -- a third corridor...
where you can get the [bleep] out
because I'm not gonna listen to
a God damn thing you have to say.
'Corrador.'"
This was supposed to be Republicans' first day
in charge of the House, a day on which they were hoping
to be taken seriously as a governing party,
and instead they imploded into absolute chaos.
Whoever ends up as their leader,
today's meltdown should be yet another reminder
that the current Republican Party
simply isn't fit to govern.
And when it comes to Congress,
they shouldn't even be allowed in the doors,
much less the... -"Corradors."
-This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]