You'd better not stop at the still. This here ain't no time for drinking!
Where is my truck keys?
Skeeter will know.
Hey fellas, here I am with Country Justice: Revenge of the Rednecks.
I bought it at a...
Hey, take a chill pill. Thank you very much.
I bought this game on Amazon
for six dollars.
Hey! Take a chill pill.
*GUNSHOT*
Ok. I'll take... You ain't nothing
but a houndog. (laughing)
It's the... here's the final boss.
Ah, I win. So thanks
for watching fellas. It was a
good game. Ahh... fuck you house.
(explosion)
Game over.
I did like the ...
the feature in this game where if you
restart, everybody you killed is
still dead.
Uh, that was a really nice feature they
implemented. Except for the dog he's
still alive, except he can't attack
me. Oh I can't attack him
either, it's fair. (clenching) You take a chill
pill! There's the cop right
there, doesn't care. This guy is
growing dinosaur eggs on his front lawn.
Here's a zombie.
Zombie: "That's enough".
Damn. I just told that boy.
I'll tell you... There's the giant
glowing key to my truck. Now I just
have to go collect the child support from
Charline, this old busted
up ass whore.
If I cant just swing this bat!
Just swing the bat!
Just...
(screaming) Yea! Here we go
boys, the best part of the game. We can just drive
my famous truck, Maynerd, from Cars.
Here we go.
God damn this thing is fast.
They say the map in this game is...
You're coming with me horse.
They say the map in this game is six times larger than that
of San Andreas.
Uh, I found somebodies
rust fort. Cop: "Get in Steve Earl"
Call me Steve Urkel. Cop: "We got
business to take care of. Those scientists have
your goat" Scientists have my goat?!
Give me my goat you damn scientist!
I guess we found out his weakness...
bullets.
Wait a minute, scientists don't wear
clothes! I'm gonna need a drink
after this one.
Oh! Wait, that's what the Moonshine does!
The Moonshine makes you run fast.
(laughing)
Oh, what the hell's going...
Oh! Let's get my truck buddy Maynerd!
WOO!
Get er done boy! Go ahead Billy Bob Thorton,
go get that bridge done boy!
I'm still moving from
before the cut-scene started. (laughing)
Dragging the car away.
(laughing)
I need the catapult
to blow up the nuclear waste plant.
What am I playing?
You have to watch the animation
every time you get out of the truck.
(laughing) What am I doing?
Do I go talk to this guy?
Guy: "Now let's go get your little truck."
No! We just did that.
We just... there's my truck!
You're running into it.
We just did that.
My truck is literally stopping you
from going to my truck.
You idiot! Stop! Stop!
(ticking noise)
All right, here we go again Billy Bob.
Yea, go ahead.
There's nothing. There's no car for you
to drag out. Look at you.
You look like a fucking asshole.
Cop: "Leave that catapult." There's no catapult.
Oh my ga (laughing)
And there he goes.
Aaand goodbye. And I'm here
with no truck and I have to walk
all the way back to the barn
where the truck is because
this game is made by Hitler-Ware,
the fucking...
(ticking noise)
Oh man! I can see the barn!
We're almost there!
(ticking noise) We made it!
Maynerd, it's so good to see ya boy!
Let's ride! Yeaaa!
God damn it!
Noo! It's stuck!
It's stuck on the tree! Ohh!
We have to do... Oh my god,
we have to do it all over.
You fucking horse. (Clenching) God damn it Maynerd,
get down on the fucking...
goddamn tree!
Get outta the goddamn tree!
(ticking noise)
So after 50 years,
here I am at the God damn
power plant and I can blow
the door open using the catapult...
Oh! Uh. Oh!
Oh, you can just drive right through!
You can just drive right through
the fucking do..! Guy:"No freebies."
*Bang* *Bang* *Bang*
Character: "Beg your pardon?" *Bang* *Bang*
So this game is pretty much
just Half-Life 2, but with uh,
better graphics.
Character: "This rocks."
No this doesn't rock.
This is the slowest moving piece of shit
boat in the history of
video gaming. Oh.
Here we go up the ramp! Ohh!
Here we go baby! Here we go!
Well I guess that's why they're not making Disney's
'Boats' yet.
Turn the goddamn thing around, ya asshole.
Look at his face!
(ticking noise)
Yes. Yes. That's exactly right.
That's exactly how to get off of a boat.
Oh, we made it.
(metal clanking) Somebody made
this fucking wood
out of sheet metal.
What the hell? Oh god.
No, not stairs!
I forgot!
You can't climb stairs in this game without the Moonshine!
Oh my...
...fucking god... you can't ...
I just drove!
I just drove for 30 minutes
in the goddamn boat!
To get to this fucking shit heap
and I can't get up the stairs!
(laughing maniacally) I guess I'll just have to drive back!
(crazy laughing)
(more laughter of a a broken man)
(ticking noise of a broken man)
I am just watching my life go down the...
No. No!
NOO!!
Wait a minute. You can jump.
See.
You guys see that?
You can jump in this game.
And I'm in.
I had to...oh! The door closed.
And I'm just gonna go ahead and shoot
these guys with the dynamite gun.
And...
There goes the elevator. Without them of course.
Ah, I can no longer ever enter the elevator again
because the door won't open.
Oh! You can just walk through
as always.
Forgot about that feature. Oh no!
The laboratory is going into lock down mode.
Meaning every single door will open for me now.
There he is!
The scientist! Scientist: "I see you have
made it, redneck."
Yea.
Scientist:"You are too late."
Oh, probably from going back and forth in the goddamn
boat 13 times cause I didn't know
you could jump.
How long is he gonna type?
No.
(laughing) Oh, you piece of shit.
This game is very intentionally
wasting my time.
What is he typing?
Is he gonna? Oh, he's not gonna...
And he did it again.
(laughing) Piece of shit game.
I hate you so much.
Oh! And..
Uh oh! Oh!
Something new!
Oh he's... Scientist: *weird groaning*
doing this now. Scientist: *continued weird groaning*
They're really building this boss fight up to
be the most epic encounter of gaming. Scientist: * major weird groaning*
And..
Scientist: You ruined everything! *groaning*
*still scientifically groaning*
(laughing) Shut up!
Is this game still...
It keeps going
(laughing)
Oh! That's a really good ending.