Presence is the state of being able to comfortably express your true self.
So your best core values, your personality.
And really to do so under stressful circumstances.
Presence comes from knowing your story - you know, what's one of the things about you that
can't be changed no matter how you perform in this negotiation or on this math test.
And sometimes people have all that but they can't access it.
So when they get into that stressful situation they go into fight or flight mode and now
they can't access the very tools they actually possess to do well in that situation.
These big challenges vary dramatically across people, so for some people it might be a job
interview, for other people it might be going to see the doctor and you know making sure
that you're getting all of the information that you need.
But I think that there are two key elements: One is that it feels very high stakes.
And the other is that there's some element of social judgement.
So somebody is judging you on a dimension that really matters to you.
Now what happens when you put these things together is that people feel as if they are
in a really threatening situation.
The most important thing I think is to know what are your biggest challenges.
There might be some that you're not even really aware of until you're in them.
One way to get at that is to really pay attention to your body.
What's happening when you start to breathe shallowly and quickly.
What's happening when you start to sweat.
And so when they happen in the future you can sort of course correct earlier.
When people are present in a social interaction, you can tell.
The first is that they clearly believe their story.
So when people are present, they are in tune to their true beliefs and values and people
see that.
Investors see that.
That's one of the cues that investors really look for when they are looking at pitches.
You know if you say "What are you looking for?"
they say "Someone who believes their story" So confidence, true confidence allows you
to be open to what other people are saying and so people want to work with you if they
see you as a collaborator.
The third thing that you see when somebody is present: When we are being authentic and
present, out words match out body language.
If we're telling a happy story - Our bodies doing the things that we do when we feel happy.
That's how you see authenticity.
When you are lying or being inauthentic because you're scared to show people who you are,
you're trying to communicate something that's not exactly real.
The story that you're telling is not gonna match what you're doing with your body language
because think about it, you've got words, you've got tone of voice.
All of those things come together when you're telling the truth.
When you're being inauthentic, it leaks out.
And when you are not being present, it leaks out in the same way.
Be sure to check out Amy's website at amycuddy.com