I love a good romantic comedy.
The unforgettable meat cutes,
public declarations of love,
and of course,
the happily ever afters.
But where are these people?
Rom-coms are notorious for
promoting unrealistic relationship expectations
because real-life relationships just can't compete.
Sure, real relationships have their fair share of romantic moments–
just not nearly as just not nearly as many perfectly timed ones
like we see on the big screen.
In short, It’s totally possible to love romantic comedies
without it influencing your real relationships,
and I'm gonna tell you how to do it.
The first rom-com-inspired expectation we’ve got to debunk is:
love at first sight.
We've seen it a thousand times
and I get it.
A movie is roughly 2 hours,
so writers only have so much time to tell a full of story.
Having the protagonists fall in love at first sight helps get straight to the action.
But as anyone who’s been on a dating app can tell you,
that's not really love, but lust at first sight.
Here's what you should do instead.
Recognize these sudden feelings
for what they are and nothing more.
Real love takes time to grow and develop.
Give it that time.
Number two: Real love must be proven through grand romantic gestures.
Grand gestures are what make these movies so exciting.
I mean, who doesn’t swoon when 'The Notebook’s Noah builds a dream home for Allie
or when Lloyd blasts 'In Your Eyes' at the end of 'Say Anything'?
But in real life, a grand romantic gesture can fail miserably
or even come off as creepy.
Instead, celebrate the little things.
Every day is filled with small opportunities to show
your partner you love them.
Something as simple as breakfast in bed
or even just a sweet text goes a long way.
Number three: When someone says they’re not interested,
they just need to be won over.
“Can’t Buy Me Love,”
“10 Things I Hate About You”,
“Superbad”
the list is unending.
This classic nerdy guy gets the popular girl trope
encourages viewers to root for the underdog.
But in real life — pressuring someone to fall for you just doesn’t fly.
Instead, take them at their word, and move on.
Wouldn’t you rather date someone who’s just as into you as you are into them anyway?
That person is out there, so it’s best to put your romantic energy into finding them.
Number four: You’ll find someone who “completes you.”
Holy “Jerry Maguire” does this one come up a lot.
Rom-coms promote the idea that after you find “The One”,
nothing else really matters.
Movie characters will totally uproot
their lives if it means they can be with their person.
After all, who needs a fulfilling and satisfying career when you have love?
Answer: everyone.
Instead, be with someone who complements you,
not completes you.
It's important to maintain individual interest and personal relationships
outside of your romance.
And finally, once you're in a relationship,
everything is perfect.
Romantic comedies traditionally
end at the beginning of the protagonists relationship
because viewers want to see them live happily ever after.
But life goes on after you finally get the girl or the guy.
Instead, go into a new relationship knowing you're gonna have fights
because your partner's not a mind reader
and surprise, surprise, neither are you.
There will be days where you and your partner might not like each other,
but that doesn't mean you won't still love each other.
Ultimately, entering a relationship with fewer expectations
can create more opportunities to be grateful
for the small, everyday moments that make up
your love story.
That's all I have for you this week.
Tune in next time.
Love, Lindsay.