Guys, we have finally come back from a short trip and, what better way to welcome us home
than being number one on /r/roastme of all time.
I haven't looked at this thread since we posted it because I wanted to be surprised
and I don't know if I should be flattered, or horrified that 36,000 people all came together
to shit in our open mouths!
For those of you guys who don't know what roast me is
it is a subreddit, on Reddit, where you post a picture of yourself, challenging the roast masters of the internet
to shit on you as hard as possible.
Why did you have to include me in this?
I was just, I didn't even tell Hila. I was like, yo, Hila take this fucking shot with me real fast.
She didn't even see what was written on the paper.
No, I knew.
She thought it said like feed African children or something.
Well, you know what they say Hila, you roast the ones you love. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself.
I've never heard that.
It doesn't make sense to me either, but I'm just trying to make myself feel better about this.
I'm scared, I know it's gonna be bad.
Also, by the way, before I even open it the mods of /r/roastme fucking roasted us.
They put "celebrity" in quotation marks, like what? Markiplier didn't get quotation marks.
At least they said papa bless.
That is pretty nice.
That's fucking actually really nice. Whoever wrote that papa bless, papa bless you.
Alright dude, I'm gonna click this shit.
Can we not? Can we still cancel?
We have to click it dawg, we don't have any other video ideas! This is it.
Do some reaction of something. What's up with Joey Salads, can't find anything?
What's up guys I'm Joey Salads and today I'm gonna be doing a social experiment
No stop changing the subject dude we have to see what's inside of this!
What's up guys I'm Joey Salads and today I'm gonna be doing a social experiment.
I gotta tell you the picture didn't do us any favors, okay. I think we made it easy on them to begin with.
And you wouldn't take a second picture.
No redos dawg. That's how we do it on Youtube.
No reshoots ever.
You relationship is stable because that's where you met Hila.
because he's saying that you live in a stable
Well, I don't know what's a stable, so...
A stable is like, where horses live.
He's saying you look like a horse I guess, I don't know. I don't think you do I think you're beautiful
I think you are gorgeous. And by the way, let's not forget that he actually complimented us.
He thinks our relationship is stable
There you go!
He says your guy's relationship is stable.
Just, that's it
Then you stop there
Our relationship is stable, I love you Hila
I love you Hila
Alright
God bless, and it doesn't matter where we met
And for your information we didn't meet at a stable, we met at a holocaust museum
I happen to have a pony that is J, R, H, N, B, R
That's not even an insult so...
That's like the biggest compliment you can give anybody dude
Man you guys are, you guys are just nice
This should just be called "Compliment Me" this subreddit
My pick-up line to you is "How do you like them apples?"
Why is it all about me!
Look, it's just comment one. I'm sure they've got plenty comin' for me
Well it's hard to insult a guy on his looks who walks around like this all the time
What, are they gonna call me ugly?
I turn on adblock for your videos
That's fucking cold dawg
You know what dude, I feel like on r/roastme threads there is a line at which you shouldn't cross
Ok, and there is a point where it's too personal
You can make fun of Hila's looks
You can call us "Jews"
But there is a point in which it's off limits and not cool
Ok, shame on you and everyone who upvoted you
And you can take your one one thousandth of a cent
That I would've made from your view and fuck right off
That being said everyone please whitelist "h3h3productions" on Youtube
it makes a huge difference for us, thank you
Well apparently not
Bro, to be fair roasting Jews has always been very fashionable
Thank you for giving that guy gold, Adolf Hitler
And if it wasn't for all the Jew roasting that happened about approximately 80 years ago
me and Hila wouldn't ever even have met
'cause we met at the holocaust museum thanks to all the roasting of Jews
So if you, I mean, god bless ya
Ya know what I mean?
I can't personally say Hitler was wrong
I can't personally say that because
I know it sounds bad
But we met because Hitler was right
Hitler didn't, OK, let me rephrase
I'm just saying
All I'm saying is that, I get it
No, that's not what
That's not even a roast, that's fucking obvious dawg
This, this thread, is the only thing between us and another 100 layers videos
I promise you dude, this is the only thing keeping me from doing a fucking CS:GO surfing rant video
That's funny
Yeah
But let's-
*starts googling how to put ads in the middle of reddit posts*
I ain't gonna message the mods and see if they owe us any money for this
I think they, I think we have some CPM coming to us from this post
Listen buddy
Well, the face swap analogy makes sense considering we are siblings
We're twins, so it makes sense that our faces would look the same if they were swapped
Dead meme
Dead meme alert!
Oh, and then underneath
That got a gold?!
Somebody gilded just for that Hila?!
That's a fucking roast
Oh my god!
*sad music*
Yeah
Is this a visa marriage?
No
Alright, good, you heard, you guys heard it here, OK? The marriage is real
Are you fucking serious? Somebody gilded that?
You think my moves aren't good dawg?!
How many white guys have you seen that can fucking do this?!
I can go sideways, forwards, my moves aren't good?!
That wasn't that good
What did you say! My moves aren't that good
You're, you didn't just marry me for the visa, right?
No
You wouldn't do that, right?
Get off Reddit dawg! I can't believe somebody gilded you for that! What a waste of money!
That's very funny
But, uh
It will take more then that to burn off that neck
Hah! What the fuck Hila!
Whose side are you on!
Did you write this!? Are you GamersPlayAB
Jesus!
You guys laugh about how fat and chubby and FUPA I am now, OK, but the FUPA memes are over
2017, I am hitting the treadmill, I'm be doing a couple of pushups,
a couple of sit-ups, I'm gonna be fucking jacked
You're gonna do just a couple?
Just a couple, like 2, or 3 maybe a week
That's enough, right
Yeah
That's nice! That's a nice thing! I care about the health of children, I don't
You know, I respect the law
I think that's a wonderful comment, I don't even know why it's here
I think they're calling you a pedophile
You do slow down on..
Yeah, I respect the law, what do you want me, to jam? Like people are so fucking paranoid about
Everyone being pedophiles
Yet everyone, now people going through school zones are gonna be stepping on the gas
I don't want anyone to think I'm a pedophile, you're going 70 miles per hour
Plowing through kids, just cause you don't want people to think you're peeping at them
OK, if I can run your kid over in a school zone don't fucking blame me
These juicy little babies dude?
These milkshakes?
Oh, you mean these milkshakes here?
I don't know Hila, how does it feel to have fucking,
A husband with some juicy ass tits?
He's also got a thicker ass
That, I won't deny
I'm a thick bitch dude
God gave me a gift, OK?
I'm a thick bitch
What the fuck? This comment has 3000 points
3000 points!
What the fuck!
And then he says
Hah, with a gold!
I love that shit about Reddit like if you say something with enough authority and enough detail, enough convention
3000 people are like "Yup, yup that's really, I find that interesting"
Incidentally that is true, we are in a open relationship
It's just that I haven't been able to find anyone else who will fuck me yet
What do you think, Hila? Could we kidnap a teenage girl together?
What even..
Are you into that?
What kind of vibe is that, that a teenage girl would run
Yeah, I think it's nice, I think it's cool, I've been trying to attract a teenage girl my whole life, so far it hasn't fucking worked
I take it as a compliment
Hila is actually offended by that one, incidentally
I love that he wrote that like David Attenborough or some shit during a nature documentary
Remarkable!
M'lady!
M'neck!
That's, that's just a statement of fact honestly, that's not even a roast, I think that's true
Wait, I'm confused though, am I the skinny one or are you the skinny one?
Because he's saying one of us is fat and one of us is skinny
Yeah
I'm the fat, I'm supposed to be the fat one in this joke or is it you?
It's like, it's pretty weird!
You do think you look like her?
Kind of
You shouldn't have admit that! You shouldn't have admit that Hila! That's fucked up!
You say, no what I was gonna say is "What, they're just random women with brown hair and like an olive complexion"
Wow!
You're not supposed to say "Oh wow it looks so much like your mom" What the fuck!
That's embarrassing!
Maybe that's what it is
Exactly, thank you, as Hila was saying cut, start over, wow I don't see the resemblance
It's just two women with brown hair and an olive complexion
Yes
Damn! That's a good one!
Ethan does steal my food
That's actually fucking hilarious because, we always go out to eat or we make dinner
And Hila doesn't, and Hila goes "Why are you so fat Ethan, you don't eat?"
And what she doesn't realize and what I never tell her is that she never finishes her food
And I do so I eat a meal and a half, and she eats half a meal, I'm getting fatter, she's skinny
I'm literally stealing her rations at the concentration camp known as her house
What the fuck!
That's just a wholesome meme, that should go on wholesome memes, I love that
Thanks for your wholesome comment, I appreciate you
I'm not that fat!
You could definitely fit my ass in an oven and burn me alive, I'm not that fat!
They could fit you in a Papa John's oven probably
Definitely dude, definitely
In fact that's a dream of mine, when I die I want to be cremated in a Papa John's Pizza and baked into a pie for all of our fans to eat
Gross
Who would eat that, I wonder
I think maxmoefoe would
Then puke! My dream is that maxmoefoe eat a Papa John's Pizza with my ashes in it and puke
Another David Attenborough meme
*cough*
He looks like he swallowed a burrito and it-
*cough*
I'm trying to attract you, Hila
*cough*
Thank you guys so much everyone who came and roasted us
Yeah, you roast the ones you love
*sigh*
You roast the ones you love, that's what I'm saying, I'm gonna stick with that
That's the one I'm gonna stick with
But I appreciate it, you guys are hilarious, this subreddit is awesome guys
Go check out our r/roastme it's a lot of fun, everyone is just goofing around, not too serious
You roast the ones you love
*sigh*
*deep sigh*
I got like, heartburn, do we have heartburn medicine Hila?
Yeah
Yes
I'll meet you at the stable, OK?
Yeah- ok
*Ethan in the bg* I'll go get your feed and your stable feed ready
*H3H3 theme*