Have you ever been to a party or an event of some kind and you witness a guy who's just
so smooth with women?
Every single word out of his mouth is captivating.
Everything he's saying he's not even flubbing.
His body language seems relaxed and people are completely drawn to him.
He's this super charismatic guy.
We can call this person a natural, maybe, we don't know for sure.
Maybe they've practiced, maybe they've taken advice like this and they've worked on themselves.
But either way, there are people out there who are naturals who are really good at smooth
talking women.
Here's the secret behind the naturals and the secret behind this is something that we're
going to tap into today on this video so you can be a smooth talker too.
Here's the thing, anybody can do this.
This is not just specific for a certain group of men.
Any guy can learn this.
It just takes understanding how it works, why it works, and then implementing the right
formula and techniques to get to that point.
And this is what we're talking about on this video.
The reason why some people are really good at talking to women.
And by the way, I've experienced this too.
In fact, I remember in college, I would have some friends that were just so confident,
so good at talking to girls, and I was like, how are they doing this?
How is this happening?
What's going on?
The reason is because over their lifetime, they've had a lot of positive reinforcement
and positive experiences with talking with communicating and especially with women.
What is this going to do?
This is going to build someone's confidence to the point where they're not going to screw
up when they're talking to someone.
And they're not going to really care if they do screw up when they are talking to someone
but they're going to appear as a very smooth, suave person.
Again, it's because they've had positive experiences and positive reinforcement.
It's led them to this place.
How that happened, who knows?
There's an infinite amount of ways someone can get to that point, depending on who they're
raised by, what kind of high school they go to, and so on and so forth.
But either way, the fact is the positive experiences that they've had.
How does this relate to you?
You need to also have a lot of positive experiences so you can get positive reinforcement so you
can become more confident when you're talking to women.
Here's the other side of it.
In order to get those positive experiences, you're going to have to get a lot of negative
experiences.
Because it's just the numbers game and how it works.
Meaning you're going to have to go out and talk to a lot of women and you're going to
flub and you're going to screw up and you're going to feel embarrassed and you're going
to get shy and you're going to get rejected and all those kind of negative things are
going to happen.
But you gotta get through those to eventually start gaining some of those positive experiences
when it does go well, when it does go smooth, when you feel like it is going really great
in your interactions.
When you feel like okay, this is good, I got her number, I got a date, I slept with this
girl, I got a lot of positive feedback.
Once you get that positive feedback, it's going to give you that confidence.
At the end of the day what I'd like to teach you is to not look at any feedback from a
woman or look at any outcomes as ways to become more confident.
It's a superficial way.
I mean, I want you to become confident in the process itself.
I want to also be realistic and know that once you get those positive experiences and
once you have a lot of comfortability with talking to people, then it's going to start
working out for you.
Here's the formula.
It's very simple and this is what you need in terms of becoming a smooth talker and being
more charismatic.
One, you need a lot of experiences so you get better at the technicality of talking
to women and talking to people.
And two, you need to build up this thick skin of you not caring what people are thinking
as you're going through the process.
It's twofold.
It's those two things, the experiences to get the technicalities down and to not care
what people are thinking and just continuously moving forward.
Like I said, that person who you saw as the natural, he has those two things so you need
to do that.
In terms of the technicality, I go over some very specific things to say some interesting
things to say, in terms of you being able to seduce or get a woman interested in conversation.
I talk about that stuff in my Hooked program, which you can find down below in the description.
That is a video course that teaches you all about how to be technically good and how to
use certain techniques to be able to build attraction and build investment when talking
to a woman.
But still, in the rest of this video, what I'll be discussing is more theories and still
a few techniques that are going to help you become a smooth talker in the broad sense.
Because at the end of the day, if you don't have that, then all this is going to fall
apart.
Even the program Hooked won't work for you even though I do talk about some of that stuff
in the program itself.
Again, if you want to check that out and you want to get a A to Z guide in terms of what
to do and talking to women, go in the description below and check that out.
But first off, what you have to know and something I do talk a lot about in that program, is
you have to approach a lot of people.
I say this all the time and you're probably hearing it again.
Hopefully it's a 10th time you've heard this so you finally go, okay Tripp, fine, I get
it.
I need to talk to a lot of people.
More specifically though, you need to go out and talk to a lot of people especially in
this beginning process.
You need to do it without caring what's going to happen.
This is going to be building your mental strength and getting you to eventually talk to a lot
of people.
You need to go out, do approaches, start conversations with strangers, go to social events, go to
networking events and talk to anyone and everyone you can.
It doesn't even have to be women, it can be guys, it can be anybody.
But you need to go out and practice the skill of talking to people that you don't know.
It's the only way you're ever going to get better and I don't care who else you've heard
of, or other dating coaches who have preached anything.
They're all wrong.
Listen to me right now, this is the way.
You have to go out and talk to tons of people.
But more specifically, I want you to create the habit of going out a lot so it's inevitable
that you're going to be talking to a lot of people.
If I just tell you right now go and talk to a lot of people.
You get that thought in your head, but are you really going to implement it?
Maybe?
Probably not.
What I would do in terms of next steps is figure out on a weekly schedule Sunday to
Sunday.
What are days that you can go out to practice talking to people?
When can you find a networking event or a social event?
Something on www.meetup.com or Facebook or whatever is relevant these days in terms of
finding social events.
When can you plan things in your calendar?
That's what makes it more inevitable.
That's what's going to push it more for you to go out and do this.
Having events, having things to do.
If you're like Tripp there's nothing going on.
In the worst case, there's no events, nothing happening.
I can't plan anything.
We resort to the very basics which you should do on top of the events, which is you going
out going to wherever people are bars, clubs, grocery stores, sidewalks, malls, pet malls
anywhere and starting conversations with people.
Again, more the technicalities and stuff in terms of how to do that is in my Hooked program
that I talked about earlier, which again, is in the description below.
But even if you don't get that program at the very least just go up and start saying
hi to people.
It sounds crazy.
It sounds strange.
But this is going to be the way that you're going to get better.
My recommendation, and this is me really pushing you to your limits is doing this at the minimum,
three to four times per week.
That's the absolute minimum.
Of course, it's like working out because socializing, being smooth with women, being charismatic,
being comfortable, talking in the way that I'm talking to you right now, it takes practice.
It's like going to a gym.
If you want to build muscle, if you want to lose fat, going once per week is okay, going
three to four times per week is better.
That is the same thing with this.
But it's a little bit different because technically, you don't want to go to the gym every day.
You need some breaks.
But even with this, you want to be going out as much as you can.
If you could do every single day, that would be amazing.
I remember there were times back in the day when I was learning this stuff and trying
to be a better conversationalist.
I was going out sometimes for three weeks in a row, three weeks in a row.
That means such Sunday through Sunday, I didn't take a break.
Can you imagine how much better I was at the end of that three weeks than I was in the
very beginning?
Three weeks isn't that long of a time and I know that sounds difficult.
I know you have work, you have school, you have things to do.
But it depends on how much you want to make this a priority.
If you want to make this a priority.
If you're a guy who's watching right now who's saying, I just wish I could be really comfortable
in front of women.
I wish I could just talk and have that gift of gab, which by the way, again, it's not
a gift.
It was learned.
Like I said earlier.
If you want that go out as much as you can, make it a priority with the habit that I told
you earlier.
I'll give you right now a little sample of what I do talk about in my Hooked program.
It's this idea of entertainment.
Entertainment is part of this bigger system with TED.
I talked about my TED system where E stands for entertainment.
And when I say entertainment, it's a little counterintuitive.
I don't mean you're going out and talking to women or people and trying to entertain
them.
Rather, you're trying to entertain yourself.
This is a really cool technique that's going to help you with being a smooth talker much
faster.
If you can entertain yourself, if you can talk about the things you want to talk about,
talk about the things that make you laugh, that are interesting to you, talk about the
things that you talk about with other people on a regular basis.
Just going out talking to people and talking about what you know and will what will make
a conversation interesting to you, you'll already be a smoother talker than you were
before.
Even if you're a little bit nervous.
That's because you're comfortable with the material.
That means that you know this stuff like the back of your hand.
Just like I'm talking to you now.
I've been talking about this stuff for so long.
That's why I can do a long video like this with little cuts and just go on and on because
I'm comfortable with this material.
I know this sounds a little meta, but bear with me here.
It's the stuff that you like talking about whatever that is, it doesn't matter what the
topic.
You can practice going out talking to people, talking to women and giving your opinion on
stuff.
Talk about stuff that you read, talk about what you do.
It might not be the most mind blowing interesting thing.
But at the very least, you're going to be better at talking about it, you're going to
be more interested in it, which is going to make the conversation between you and the
person have an energy that's a lot different than you going in talking about the boring
stuff like what do you do for a living and asking them a bunch of questions and you just
being so focused on them and not yourself, which makes it a lot more rough of a conversation.
I want to piggyback off that idea and give you something else that's really cool.
When you go out and do all these approaches that I'm talking about, what ends up happening
is that repetition is going to breed familiarity.
What that means is that the more you go out and talk to people, you're going to find (and
I'm going to spoil the secret here) is that you're going to find that talking to people,
you end up having the same conversations over and over again.
There's really only so many ways to have an initial conversation with anyone.
You end up talking about the same stuff and even you who's a person who's been talking
about the things that you'd like to talk about, maybe you're talking about those things again.
You're repeating the situation.
Here's another cool secret, you don't need every single interaction to be unique from
the last one.
Every interaction you have with someone, it's okay to talk about something that you've talked
about with someone else in the past.
And you're going to find this (like I said, I'm spoiling the secret for you) but when
you go out and have these conversations, you're going to be like, wow, it's kind of the same.
You end up talking about the same stuff.
You're also going to find what you're good at talking about.
You're also going to find what works in the interaction.
Stuff that you're going to learn and that you can share with other people.
Depending on who you are who's watching this video, it's going to be different for you,
from other people because it all depends on your experiences and the things that you talk
about and who you are as a person.
But you're only going to find that out once you do the approaches.
That's why I said earlier, my first tip is that you got to go out and do the approaches.
But without any of that outcome dependence.
Without thinking every interaction has to go amazing.
Every single interaction has to lead to a date and I can't get rejected and I can't
screw it up and all these things.
It's not about perfection.
You're never going to get that way.
Nothing's ever going to be perfect.
You have to screw up, make mistakes, have tons of conversations and eventually you're
going to find the patterns and those patterns are the gold.
Here's another cool tip for you.
What I want you to do (and maybe you have this already, good for you) is get a friend
in your life who is a female.
I'm not talking about a girl that you're in the friend-zone with.
I'm not talking about someone that you previously dated.
And like I said, I'm not talking about someone that you are interested in at all sexually
or want to be with.
This person has to be completely platonic.
You have no interest in them.
That is a true friend.
Just like if you're watching this and you're a heterosexual male and you have a friend
that's a guy, it's just you being a friend.
It has to be that very specific friendship.
The reason why I say this is because of course, I don't want you to be in the friend-zone
and this is not about you strategizing to try to get out of the friend-zone and get
this girl to like you.
The whole idea is you have an actual friend, that is a girl.
What that's going to do is that's going to start making you feel more comfortable with
women.
But I want to be clear here.
What this is not doing.
This is not replacing all the other stuff I said earlier.
It's not like you can either have a female friend or do a lot of approaches.
They ideally should both go together.
You should always be doing lots of approaches and lots of talking.
Having that female friend is going to get you a little bit more comfortable with talking
to a woman.
Also understanding what a woman is thinking, and what she's like and what the female mind
is like.
You might not get the full insider secrets, like we tell you here on the Tripp Advice
channel because this is a whole other discussion.
Women have a hard time explaining why they're attracted to men.
But either way, you're still going to get a better idea of how a woman thinks when you're
hanging out with her versus not.
Ideally, you have one or two friends that are women and you can be hanging out with
them spending time with them.
And this is going to two-fold get you used to being around women, make you feel a little
bit more comfortable and you're going to learn a lot more about who they are and how they
think because they're gonna be talking to you about the things that friends talk about.
Things that are going on in their life, things they think, their opinions, their thoughts,
their emotions, their fears, their good days or bad days, all that stuff.
There is a little bit of a difference between men and women in terms of how they think and
how they talk and how they react to certain things so it's good to get both of those sides.
And cherry on top, you're going to find out that when you're talking to women, they're
pretty normal.
They're not scary.
They're not really that much different than anyone else.
Yes, like I said earlier, like a second ago, they react differently to certain things and
there are minor differences, but you're going to at least be friends with them and realize
that it's not a big deal.
Then when you do end up talking to a girl that you are attracted to, you're not going
to be so scared, so nervous thinking that oh my god, I'm now talking to a woman and
you never do this so it's going to be a lot more scary.
It's going to be a little bit more comfortable.
Lastly here is understand and lastly here, understand that one of the reasons why you
are flubbing in conversation and you're not really a smooth talker and it's not going
as well as you planned or you feel like you're still nervous is because you are putting a
lot of energy into thinking that the person that you're talking to is really special.
Maybe it's a girl who's really attractive.
Maybe you're networking and you're just kind of making up stories in your head, like you
think that the person you're talking to is better than you.
Or because they're more attractive, you think they're better than you or they're wearing
a nice suit or a nice outfit, you think something about them that's not the truth.
The thing is you make up a lot of stories in your head about the people that you're
talking to.
You end up making a bigger deal and you cause this nervousness.
A lot of the reasons why people aren't smooth when talking to other people or strangers
or attractive women is because they feel like they're performing.
They feel like they have to do something differently to impress the person to make them feel more
comfortable with them.
When really that person is you too.
Everyone's all the same.
We're all having these experiences.
We're all trying to communicate properly and not be scared.
We're all trying to be smooth in conversation.
I don't think there's anyone out there that is not somewhat trying to have a good conversation
with someone.
Maybe they're not actively going out and approaching people but when they do have the conversations,
they're somewhat trying.
Understand that everyone is on the same level as you.
That you don't have to make it into a bigger deal than it is.
My point here is that because you're making it into a big deal in your head, you put more
pressure on yourself and you tense up, you flub and it doesn't go the way that you might
want it to.
If you want the technicalities, you want the A to Z guide, you want to know where to start
with all this, check out my Hooked program at www.getherhooked.com.
The link is in the description below so you can learn more about what it takes to start
going out and approaching, what kind of openers to use, what kind of system to put in and
you can learn all that.
But now you know that the formula here is you going out doing a lot of approaches, getting
the technicality part down and then on the other side, doing this in a way where you're
not caring what people are thinking about you and you're not focused on what's happening
with them and what they're thinking but you just going out and doing it.
And there you go.
That's the formula.
That's what happens when you see someone who's doing a great job at talking, communicating,
and being really smooth and charismatic with women.
I hope that helps.
I know that was a lot.
I hope you took notes here.
Good luck.
Start implementing some of that stuff.
Hopefully this week, you can start putting in a plan to be going out and making it a
habit.
I'll talk to you on the next video.