- Heya Playa.
Have you ever been in this situation
where you liked two different people,
but you weren't sure which one to actually pursue?
That's something I've talked about in a
previous video and have dealt with before.
So I wanna share that story with you
and tell you guys all about
how I got my second girlfriend.
(upbeat music)
Back in my early college days,
me and a group of my guy friends
had met a group of girls who had just graduated
high school and we all became friends.
There was a bunch of us and a bunch of them,
so naturally we started to pair off and find people
in that other group that we liked.
Early on, I had only met a few members
of that huge girl group.
But one of them in particular,
I started to develop a huge crush on.
Since the two of us were both single in that group,
there was always a little bit of tension there
because everyone put pressure on us
to try to make things work.
For me, even though I was already at that college age,
I was still nervous about talking to this girl
and actually developing something with her.
Both of our groups would hang out all the time.
We'd have parties together,
we'd go to each other's houses,
and every single time, I sat there thinking
how I could make a move, but never doing it.
So one day, we were having a party in my backyard.
So the girl that I liked kept joking around with me,
so I told her, "You keep messing with me,
I'm gonna toss you in the pool".
Of course when you say that to someone,
they're gonna keep joking with you.
So, as she did it, I walked on over,
picked her up and just launched her into the pool.
She went flying over the side and landed in the water.
All her friends were laughing at her
and she was laughing too.
And that was the moment that it cemented it for her.
Man, I really like this guy.
I didn't see it as anything more than us joking around.
But to her, that was the moment that she was now
gonna try to pursue me.
She told my friend's girlfriend that she really
liked me and wanted to hang out with me,
so now I just had to make it happen.
So invited her to hang out at my house one day
and we both knew what was up.
Once my parents kinda left us alone,
we kind of just sat there on the couch.
She was waiting for me to make the move
and I was thinking, man I gotta make this move.
How am I gonna do this?
It was pretty scary
and it reminded me of a time with my first girlfriend,
where we sat on her couch for hours,
watching movies and her waiting for me to do something.
Well this time around,
I wasn't gonna let that be the case.
I built up the confidence,
I turned to her and we started to make out.
That was good, that was cool.
But it seemed like it was just a one time thing.
Afterwards, she kind of went on her way
and neither one of us really brought it up again
the next time we hung out in a group.
Things were kind of in the air,
but that's when I met a new girl in the group
who had started just hanging out with us.
She was also one of the few single girls
left in the group and me and her just
instantly connected and started talking with ease.
I started to like her but I didn't know
where things were with the first girl.
So I was kinda caught in between,
not knowing which girl I should really pursue.
Now you may be thinking,
well why not just keep pursuing the first girl?
Everything seemed to work out the first time.
So what was wrong with it?
The problem I started to realize with her
was that most of my attraction was purely physical.
And at times I saw her just being rude and jealous
and just mean to her friends.
But because I thought she was attractive,
I kind of just let it slide
and ignored all the negative qualities about her.
But with this new girl,
I thought she was incredibly attractive too,
and had a great personality.
So I started to lean more towards her side.
At this point I was faced with a crossroads
and I wasn't sure which girl to actually pursue;
which made it kind of awkward
when all of us were hanging out.
I wasn't sure which one to dedicate
my time and attention to.
But what I noticed about the second girl,
is that she started to reach out
to me a whole lot more.
She would ask me to hang out
and she would try to find connections
between the things that we liked.
At the time, I was huge into fitness.
I was working out at the gym constantly.
I was going running.
And she told me that she loved exercising too.
So we made a day to hang out and just run together.
I remember it was the summer time
and it was extremely hot that day.
So I put on a t-shirt, shorts, and running shoes.
But she showed up at my house with
a sweatshirt and sweatpants.
And I remember saying to her,
"Are you sure you wanna go running in that?
I think you might get really overheated."
And she told me, "No, no it's fine.
I run in this all the time."
So, we walked over to the Bay Area,
where there's a long strip that you can go running
and we started running.
And about three minutes into it,
I thought, hey this is pretty good
until I realized she was nowhere near me.
She had completely gassed out about 30 seconds in.
So I ran back to go ask her if everything was okay.
She stood there profusely sweating
and panting going, that's it I'm not a runner.
I just said that we should go running
so you and me can hang out one-on-one.
And I have to say, that was pretty darn clever.
Every single time we hung out,
it was always in a group setting.
So me and her never really got to see
how we connected one-on-one.
Meanwhile, every time we did hang out as a group,
I would always see the first girl
and my mind would go back to that experience
I shared with her and the feelings I had for her.
So, I was still conflicted.
Which girl do I actually pursue?
The one that I originally liked?
Or the one that's showing a lot of genuine
interest in me that I also really like?
I know it seems like a no-brainer at this point,
but I was working through all the details.
So I didn't know what to do at that moment.
I continued to talk to both girls frequently
and even though they were in the same friend group,
I don't think they talked to each other about
what was going on because secretly they knew
they were kind of competing with one another.
And it wasn't until we had a party at my friend's house,
where only the second girl was there and not the first one,
that I started to see where things were going.
My friends all love to drink, as did this girl.
And as you guys know, I don't drink alcohol.
But that night, I think it gave her a little bit
of the liquid courage to actually
pursue me in a romantic way.
I was joking and flirting with her throughout the night,
until she eventually pulled me over to the side
and we started to make out.
At this point, we kind of separated ourselves
from everyone else at the group
and we just kinda spent the rest of the night together.
It was pretty awesome and it felt natural.
I started to really feel like I connected with this girl
and we really were getting along.
So at the end of the night, I came to the same question
I did with the first girl.
So what's going on with us?
Where do we take this?
And she had already defined her answer and said,
"Well, we're boyfriend and girlfriend now right?"
Honestly, I didn't know what to say.
I thought we were gonna take it slow
and see where it goes, but it seemed like
she was pretty firm in what she wanted.
And I said, "Yeah, we're boyfriend and girlfriend."
So from that day forward, things were different.
We were together now.
But my feelings were still there for the first girl.
Why though?
I now had my official second girlfriend,
but I still had these lingering feelings
that I just couldn't give up.
I knew I had to flip that mental switch
and let go of the first girl,
so I can fully invest in my relationship with the second.
All of this was happening in the summer time,
which meant when the new school year began,
I would have to leave the neighborhood
to go travel over to go to my school.
And the new girl that was now my girlfriend
was going to a school upstate,
which is about 8 hours away from me.
I kept thinking, does it make sense
to be in a relationship with someone that's so far away?
How am I gonna maintain this?
At least for the first girl,
she's staying in the neighborhood,
so it's possible for me.
At the end of the summer,
my new girlfriend had went away for her orientation.
Which left me to hang out with the first girl
and our whole group of friends alone.
And I remember one night there was just 4 of us.
My friend and his girlfriend
and me and that first girl.
And I knew I had to make a decision then and there.
I was sitting with her alone,
we were talking and getting close,
when all of a sudden, my phone started to ring
and I saw it was my girlfriend.
And in that moment, the first girl looked at my phone,
and saw my girlfriend's name on it and asked me,
"Well what do you want to do about all this?"
And in that moment, I knew what I wanted.
I told her, "She's my girlfriend now,
so I think you and me should just remain friends."
That hold over me was finally gone.
But a new problem had risen to the surface.
It was time for me to now go back to school,
which meant we were still 8 hours apart
in our relationship.
For the majority of the year,
we'd be long distance.
How was I gonna make that work?
Maintaining that long distance relationship,
the ups and the downs,
is a topic for a whole 'nother video,
which I'll share with you guys soon.
What do you think though?
Did I make the right choice?
Have you ever been in this situation
where you've had to choose between two people
that you liked?
Leave your comments below
and we'll talk about it.
If you're in that situation now,
or have ever been in it before,
definitely go check out my video explaining
how to choose between two girls that you like.
I made that video specifically for you.
And if you want to learn more about my life stories
and the experiences I've had with dating and girlfriends,
check out my life stories playlist,
where I explain everything I've been through.
This second girlfriend video saga is gonna be a fun one
to share with you guys.
So if you wanna see more videos like this,
hit the like button,
leave a comment,
and let me know your thoughts.
Guys, I wanna help you make the right decisions
and find the right people to be with.
I want you to be your best self.
As always, guys.
Love and peace.