For months now, I've been listening to all the young
people in my office talk about Tinder.
A social neworking site where you can find people
in your area you've never met.
They're in your vicinity, and they're ready to meet
and maybe hook up.
Naturally, because I'm a creep, I'm intrigued.
I wanna find out about this.
But I didn't wanna do it alone, so I got the help
of a young, hot, Hollywood stud;
Mr Dave Franco.
Hey, Dave.
Hey.
Thank you for doing this.
Of course, man.
Now, you and I are going to explore Tinder together.
You okay?
You seem a little nervous.
I'm a little nervous.
What are you nervous about?
Um, it's gonna get weird.
It's not gonna get weird at all, no.
Together, we're going to ...
I think you had your camera on.
Uh oh.
You were just taking a picture of your crotch.
Yes, yes, yes.
I'm not kidding, you just had your camera on,
and you were shooting your crotch.
Dave.
Yes, yes.
We're gonna go on Tinder.
All right.
The way we start is; we build our profiles.
Okay.
Now, my suggestion is, because we're known people,
and clearly, very desirable, maybe we should go
by different names.
I like that.
But I think we should still use our pictures.
Okay.
So that when these ladies, or men.
Right, sure.
That we meet, 'cause that's how it's really gonna go
when we switch to Grindr.
(laughs)
It's about half an hour, after a few drinks.
You, just to clarify, you know nothing about Tinder,
but you definitely know about the existence of Grindr.
I know Grindr cold.
(laughs)
Whenever you don't see me on television, I'm on Grindr.
I know where you are, okay.
Let's build our profiles, shall we?
Yes, all right.
Should I do, like, the classic, "I don't know you're taking
the picture, but I'm having a great time"?
[Conan] Well, that just looks like you're masturbating
in a park.
Is that it?
Either one, that's the one we want.
[Conan] No, no, no, that's not good.
All right, now, I took some good photos of you,
now you get some of me.
Women like a guy who's busy, who's got things to do, okay?
[Dave] I think I got it, I think I already got it.
(audience laughs)
I'm gonna make up a name.
[Dave] Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
I'm gonna be Chip Whitley.
[Dave] I like that, I like that.
Can you say, can you remember that?
Chip Whitley.
[Conan] 'Cause you know what, if we get in the zone,
and the deal's about to go down, I don't want you
to freeze up and say Conan.
What's my name?
Okay, okay.
[Conan] What's my name?
Chip Whitley.
And what are you, what are you, what's your name?
Drang ...
Gus.
Genghis?
Don't pick Genghis, who's gonna call you Genghis?
Genghis Roundstone.
[Conan] Genghis, Genghis Roundstone?
(laughs)
You wanna be Genghis Roundstone?
I'm gonna lie a little bit about my age.
Do it.
You realize what we're doing now is something
that's probably never been done before.
We are lying on the internet.
(audience laughs)
I am 42 years old,
and I'm gonna say people tell me
I look like Conan O'Brien.
[Dave] Sure, there you go.
(audience laughs)
What do you got?
[Dave] I enjoy wearing Crocs for their style
over their comfort, and I hear I look like a poor man's
Dave Franco, PS, (beep) Dave Franco.
(audience laughs)
Nice.
[Dave] Pretty good?
That's fantastic.
Pretty good.
I like chai lattes.
That's something a woman would like, right?
I like chai lattes and uh ...
Showering.
(laughs)
You're totally screwing me up here.
I love chai lattes and showering, okay, great.
My first one is Nik, and about Nik is;
not looking for DTF.
DTF is ...
Down to (beep).
(audience laughs)
Excuse me, do you talk that way at home?
(laughs)
Is that how you talk at home?
You asked me!
[Conan] I'm not gonna go with Robin,
I'm gonna say no to Paulette.
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna be picky at first.
Yeah, I'm just gonna go on a string of yes's
at this point.
I'm going, I'm saying yes to Liza, 'cause that's
my wife's name, I think that's very sweet that I would
say yes on Tinder to someone who has the same name
as the mother of my children.
(laughs)
What are you looking for over there?
What are any of us really looking for?
I'm looking for that special someone.
That is deep.
Who is going to change my life for a period of like,
20 minutes.
Sure.
(audience laughs)
How come we're not getting the same people?
Yeah, I'm not getting 50 ...
[Conan] Does anyone-
[Dave] I'm not getting 50 year olds.
I think we should switch for a little bit.
[Conan] Okay.
(audience laughs)
Gloria is the one.
It's a match!
[Conan] What?
[Dave] You and Gloria!
[Conan] Who's Gloria?
[Dave] You and Gloria!
You've been on my phone for about 15 seconds, and you-
You're welcome.
Gloria is 74.
74?
(audience laughs)
[Dave] Age is just a number.
[Conan] Hi Gloria, what do people say?
Well, she's 74, so I should probably talk in an older ...
You know, "Hello there, Gloria!
You're as fresh as the old dew drop, you are!"
(audience laughs)
I have not heard back yet from the 74 year old woman,
who I agreed to meet.
Should I write, "I am so lonely"?
(audience laughs)
I am ...
It just corrected "I am", and turned it into "Obama".
(audience laughs)
So, President Obama is sending this.
Aha!
Look what, I just got a message from Gloria.
[Dave] No, no.
She said, "Cheer up."
I said, "I am so lonely."
"Cheer up."
I'm being consoled!
That's a win.
By a 74 year old woman!
That's a win!
How about, "You could help me cheer up in person."
(audience laughs)
Oh, match, yes!
[Conan] Let me see.
[Dave] All right.
[Conan] Oh my, oh yeah!
Yes!
I like Tammy.
All right, Tammy.
[Conan] Make this happen.
[Dave] Don't let us down.
Gloria!
Gloria's saying yes to you?
Come on, Gloria.
[Conan] Wait, wait, wait.
Gloria!
(audience laughs)
Gloria!
Gloria turned me down, and said yes to you.
All right.
Sona, my assistant, get in here.
This is my assistant, Sona.
Okay, you guys do that, I'm gonna write Gloria
in a way that she'll understand.
(audience laughs)
Dearest Gloria,
I tried you on Tinder
without success,
so I
am going it
the old fashioned way.
Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, it's a match!
Oh, you scared me.
He is killing you.
All right, all right, Courtney.
We hit a point where there's been a little bit
of a um, inequality here, in how we're scoring.
Dave has had, how many matches have you had so far?
Nine, maybe.
[Conan] Okay, nine.
Okay.
You know how many I had?
One.
Gloria.
She's in her seventies, and then she quickly dropped me.
You know what the flaw with this app is?
I wish there was a way that we could know their address,
even if they didn't want us to know it, and then
we could go there, and make them like us.
(audience laughs)
[Dave] Courtney's beautiful.
[Sona] Dave's really-
[Dave] Seven miles away, this is the one.
[Sona] This is good.
[Dave] This is the one.
[Sona] This is a good one.
Great, sent.
I said, "Hey, this is Dave Franco, I'm filming a bit
with Conan O'Brien, would you be interested in meeting
up with us?"
Yes.
She said, "That is a hell of a pick up line, LOL."
(audience laughs)
All right, Courtney's in.
Courtney's in.
Did you get an address?
Yes.
(screams)
Okay, phase two.
This is our Tinder van, what do you think?
(audience laughs)
You know what, I think this is very inviting.
This thing says, "We're on the hunt.
We're on the prowl, we're on the prowl!"
Let's say things were to take off for me.
Sure.
You would watch me.
Right.
This is how I do it.
[Dave] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm like a bug that's trapped on its back.
That's what that is.
This is what I am.
That's what it is.
I think Courtney is going to love this van.
We should probably get rid of the duct tape.
(audience laughs)
This, we honestly ...
You know?
(soft rock music)
[Conan] Coming, Courtney!
[Dave] Courtney!
Courtney!
Courtney, Chip Whitley and Genghis Roundstone
are coming to kill you!
(audience laughs)
[Conan] Hey, how are you?
Come have drinks with us!
We'd love to, but we're going to meet a girl
we met on Tinder.
Yeah.
[Dave] Oh, yeah.
It's pretty hot.
[Conan] You know, we have to have a nickname for this van.
I call this Brown Lightning.
Brown Lightning.
Brown Lightning sounds like a symptom.
Brown Lightning.
Of intestinal disorder.
Exactly.
Much more duct tape.
Yeah, I don't know, I think they use ...
You know what, I'm gonna make it clear right now.
They use the duct tape to put the cameras in.
So, it's an unfortunate accident that it's in the car.
We'll get rid of it.
I wish I could say that I saw duct tape on any
of these cameras.
I know.
(audience laughs)
I have never more felt like a murderer on the prowl
than I do right this instance.
This doesn't feel good, being in this van.
Okay, okay, I was gonna ask you if you disliked
that feeling, wholeheartedly.
Yes, well, no, there's part of me that feels
it almost feels like a second skin.
It feels very natural.
Oh, there she is.
Hi.
[Courtney] Hey.
[Dave] Courtney!
How are you?
You're beautiful!
Thank you.
Look at you, nice to see you.
I'm Conan.
Courtney, nice to meet you.
Hey, Dave.
Hi, very nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
That's Dave, hi.
Hi.
(growls)
(audience laughs)
Do you guys wanna come in the yard, or ...
Trying to, okay, just a quick, how's that?
Group hug.
Yeah, great hug.
Okay, this is nice.
Oh wow, I love your house.
[Courtney] Thank you, it's my brother's.
You responded to this gentleman.
What is it that you liked about him?
[Dave] Well, let me clarify though.
From your perspective, I was Genghis Roundstone.
Right.
38 years old.
Right.
And ...
That's a dope name, by the way.
You like that?
(audience laughs)
Wait, wait, you like that name?
I told him.
It's awesome.
What about my name; Chip Whitley?
Chip Whitley?
I don't know about that.
Like a salt-
Yeah, right, right, right.
(audience laughs)
I wanted to throw a D at the beginning of Genghis.
The D is silent, baby!
(laughs)
Why does everybody like him?
Everybody likes him.
Hold on a second, you just said he's got the natural looks.
Yeah.
What's wrong with what I'm-
You're tall and goofy.
I'm not, speak for yourself.
Goofy, I'm going for like, a Clint Eastwood.
Look at that.
[Courtney] It's working.
Slower, do it slower, slow it down, baby.
I'm moving in like, nine dimensions right now.
Now Courtney, Courtney, be honest.
All right.
[Conan] Watch this.
[Courtney] Okay.
Okay.
This is actually the quickest he's gotten that open.
Look at that.
(laughs)
Courtney, would you like to have a seat?
We got ice.
Get in, have a seat next to-
We got, don't mind the duct tape.
(audience laughs)
This, oh no, this is for the ...
This is not ...
[Dave] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is for mounting the cameras.
Right.
Would anyone like some champagne?
(audience laughs)
What do you think, is it good?
Yeah.
I'm doing better with you than with anybody
I've tried to meet on Tinder tonight.
What's your name?
Marcus.
Marcus, wanna see a movie or something?
(audience laughs)
You're paying?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
I got Marcus.
Marcus is with me, you got Courtney.
[Dave] Right.
We're good.
This is what the internet can do.
It can bring a bunch of people who were strangers
just an hour ago, together, in the night, under the street,
outside a really creepy van,
where they hold themselves for a little too long,
and then probably never see each other again.
(beep)
[Dave] I love you guys.
(applause)
Hey, our thanks to Dave Franco.
Amazing guy, also our thanks to Courtney.
For more from my night with Dave Franco,
go to TeamCoCo.com.
(applause)
We got a great show tonight.