>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME JENNY SLATE!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪
>> HI.
>> Stephen: HOW ARE YA?
FEELING FINE.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> Stephen: VERY WELL.
THANKS FOR ASKING.
>> DONE.
>> Stephen: EXCELLENT INTERVIEW.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
(LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: IN SECRET LIFE OF
PETS YOU PLAY A POMERANIAN?
>> MM-HMM.
>> Stephen: I NEED TO ASK YOU ABOUT AN ACTUAL PET BECAUSE I
SAW THIS PHOTO.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE GOT IT FROM YOU OR SOMEBODY ELSE.
>> THAT IS FROM ME.
>> Stephen: WHO IS THIS YOU'RE HOLDING RIGHT HERE?
>> THAT'S MY DOG REGGIE.
HE'S VERY OLD.
HE HAS ONLY SEVEN TEETH.
>> Stephen: ONLY SEVEN TEETH.
AND HE STARTED OFF WITH THE NORMAL NUMBER OF TEETH.
>> IS THIS I BELIEVE SO.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
HOW DID YOU MEET REGGIE?
>> SO REGGIE, I KNOW THAT REALLY YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ADOPT DOGS,
AND WE SHOULD, BUT I FOUND REGGIE ON WHAT WAS MAYBE ONE OF
THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE.
I WAS -- I REALLY WANTED TO BE AN ACTRESS.
I JUST GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.
I DID NOT KNOW ANY PERFORMERS OR HOW TO BECOME AN ACTRESS SO I
THOUGHT I SHOULD BE AN ASSISTANT TO A PERFORMER.
I WENT ON CRAIGSLIST AND THERE WAS AN OPERA SINGER AND I
THOUGHT, THIS IS LIKELY FANCY.
>> Stephen: YOU MIGHT AS WELL START WITH THE CLASSIEST
PERFORMER YOU CAN?
NEW YORK?
>> YES.
I WENT TO THIS MAN'S ASSISTANT, MET HIM IN A PUBLIC PLACE, HE
SEEMED FINE.
>> Stephen: AN OPERA SINGER.
YES.
>> Stephen: WOULD I KNOW HIM?
ONLY I KNOW HIM.
>> Stephen: THIS IS NOT A PAVAROTTI?
>> OH, NO.
NO, NOBODY KNOWS HIM EXCEPT FOR ME.
(LAUGHTER) AND HE SEEMS PRETTY NORMAL, I
GUESS.
AND HE WAS, LIKE, WELL, WE NEED HELP DECORATING THE APARTMENT,
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THAT?
AND I WAS, LIKE, OH, I WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU, YOU KNOW, MAKE
YOUR HOME MORE BEAUTIFUL.
HE GAVE ME AN ADDRESS AND SAID, COME HERE.
IT'S, LIKE, A FANCY APARTMENT IN THE WEST VEG.
I WAS, LIKE, THAT'S GREAT.
AND I GOT THERE.
THE LOBBY WAS NICE.
THE STAIRS WERE REALLY PRETTY.
I WENT UP THE STAIRS.
I WALKED -- THE APARTMENT DOOR WAS, LIKE, OPEN A CRACK, WHICH
IS TRULY FROM A HORROR MOVIE.
YOU KNOW -- >> Stephen: IS HE WITH YOU AT
THIS POINT?
>> NO, H HE IS IN THE HOME.
THE HOME, RIGHT?
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
ARE THE LIGHTS ON?
>> OH, EVERYTHING IS BLASTING.
LIKE, THE DOOR WAS OPEN A CRACK.
I WAS, LIKE, HELLO...
AND NO RESPONSE.
SO I PUSHED THE DOOR OPEN.
I STEPPED IN, AND IT WAS, LIKE -- AND I STEPPED AND I WAS,
LIKE, WHAT?
AND I HAD STEPPED ON, LIKE, A FULL BURRITO.
(LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: THAT'S NOT A
EUPHEMISM FOR SOMETHING?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: IT WAS ACTUALLY A FULL BURRITO?
>> YES, IT WAS A COMPLETE BURRITO.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
AND I WAS, LIKE, WHAT...
AND LOOKED UP AND IT WAS, LIKE -- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
WALKING DOWN THE BEACH AND IT'S A BEAUTIFUL TIME AND YOU STEP ON
A DEAD FISH AND YOU'RE, LIKE, OOH AND YOU LOOK UP AND IT'S,
LIKE, A RED TIDE SITUATION EVERYWHERE, DEAD FISH AND
YOU'RE, LIKE, HOW DID I GET THIS FAR INTO IT?!
>> Stephen: AND WILL I GET OUT?
>> AND WILL I EVER GET OUT.
AND THE ANSWER IS, CERTAINLY NOT, IS WHAT I WAS THINKING.
I HAVE THAT KIND OF PERSONALITY WHERE MY MOM WOULD NEVER PUT MY
NAME ON MY SHIRTS.
NO "JENNY" SHIRTS OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I'M VERY FRIENDLY AND
SHE WAS AFRAID SOME WEIRDO IN A VAN WOULD BE, LIKE, JENNY!
I'M SUPPOSED TO PICK YOU UP FROM SCHOOL TODAY, AND I'M JUST LIKE,
BOOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP!
(LAUGHTER) YEAH, I'M STEPPING ON THIS
WALL STREET O. I LOOK IN THE APARTMENT, IT'S FILLED WITH
GARBAGE, A TOTAL CRACK DEN.
AND THE DUDE IS IN THERE AND HE'S, LIKE, WELCOME!
>> Stephen: ANY IDEAS?
THIS IS HOW FAR I'VE GOTTEN!
>> YEAH, AND I WAS LOOKING AROUND, AND I THOUGHT, BE
POSITIVE.
>> Stephen: VERY SWEET.
YEAH, JUST TRYING TO LIVE A LIFE.
AND, SO, THERE WERE JARS -- EVERYTHING IN ME WERE, LIKE,
JENNY, THOSE ARE JARS OF PEE, JUST JARS OF A LIQUID.
ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?
(LAUGHTER) AND I THOUGHT, WELL, HE'S AN
OPERA SINGER, MAYBE IT'S A FANCY TEA BECAUSE HE HAS TO BE LIKE,
LALALALALA!
>> Stephen: VERY NICE, YEAH.
O I WAS, LIKE, MAYBE IT'S A DRINK.
AND I LOOKED AND ONE WAS A SMUCKER'S JAM JAR WITH JAM STILL
IN IT.
I'M OKAY, IT'S URINE FROM A HUME NOON AND HE WAS A DRUG ADDICT?
>> THERE WERE DRUGS EVERYWHERE.
>> Stephen: IT'S SO POOR PLANNING FOR A DRUG USER TO SAVE
THEIR URINE.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
BUT THEN YOU WENT AND GOT THE DOG, I UNDERSTAND?
>> WELL, YES.
>> Stephen: THIS WAS ONE QUESTION, BY THE WAY.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I'VE MANAGED TO GET OUT ONE QUESTION, AND I'VE
LOVED IT.
>> RIGHT.
SO IT WAS A TERRIFYING EXPERIENCE WITHIN THE APARTMENT.
I EVENTUALLY GOT ON MY CELL PHONE AND PRETENDED TO BE ON THE
CALL.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
I SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THAT?
I'VE GOT KIDNEY FAILURE?
I'VE GOT TO GO.
>> RIGHT.
I WAS, LIKE, IT'S AN EMERGENCY!
AND TRIED TO MAKE A LOT OF SPACE AROUND ME SO I COULD LEAVE.
AND THEN I WENT TO A PET STORE TO CHEER MYSELF UP AND LOOK AT
THE PUPPIES.
SO I WAS, LIKE, WOW, THEY'RE SWEET.
THERE WERE ALL THESE PUPPIES AND THERE WAS ONE DOG UP IN THE
CORNER AND I GREW UP WITH A DOG LIKE REGGIE, AND HE WAS UP IN
THE CORNER AND I WAS, LIKE, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT DOG?
AND THEY WERE, LIKE, HE'S NOT A PUPPY AND NOBODY REALLY WANTS
HIM AND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIM.
I TOOK IT SO PERSONALLY, I JUST CONTINUED TO PROJECT MYSELF ON
TO THIS DOG, ALSO.
I WAS, LIKE, SOLD!
(APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.
CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND REGGIE.
SOUNDS LIKE A WONDERFUL MATCH.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: "THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS" IS IN THEATERS FRIDAY
JULY 8.
JENNY SLATE, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)