Recently, a woman in India called off an arranged marriage when her new husband wasn’t able
to answer a simple math question.
Most people don’t think that you can just call off an arranged marriage, or that they
still even exist.
But arranged marriages are not just some forgotten custom from the past, they still happen every
day around the world.
Arranged marriages are when a third party, usually a relative or a matchmaker, selects
your spouse, but with your permission.
This is distinct from “forced marriages”, where there is no consent, as is the case
with child brides.
Arranged marriages actually used to be the norm in most societies.
That’s in part due to the belief that a person’s parents were better equipped to
decide who would be a good match for their children.
This made sense at a time when the average age of marriage was much lower, and social
mobility was otherwise impossible.
Another reason for the practice was to make sure your son or daughter married someone
of the same faith or race, in what is known as an “endogamous marriage”.
They were used to insure continued bloodlines and wealth consolidation.
Today, arranged marriages are much rarer overall, but in some parts of the world are still a
regular occurrence.
In particular, India has a long tradition of arranged marriage, still widely practiced
today.
But although many western countries look down on arranged marriages, some studies have shown
that they might not be as bad as they’re portrayed.
One study pitted American “love marriages” and Indian “arranged marriages” to see
which led to happier unions.
You’d think that two people pushed together by their parents probably wouldn’t fall
in love at first sight, and you’d be right.
But over the long term, researchers found that American couples were more in love at
the start of the relationship, while Indian couples surpassed American love as their marriage
progressed.
And on average, both types were about equally as happy.
The rate of arranged marriages around the world has been dropping for most of the 20th
century.
But even today, in countries like China, there exist “love hunters” looking for young
women to marry off to wealthier older men.
And “marriage markets” where parents advertise and seek out suitable spouses for their children.
Even spouse-seeking reality shows in the US can be considered a form of arranged marriage.
Despite their incongruity in western society, it’s possible that arranged marriages are
not as horrible or restrictive as popular opinion would lead you to believe.
As a matter of a fact, my grandparents’ marriage was arranged, and although it didn’t
end up working out, that had more to do with my grandfather’s two concubines, or other
wives, rather than the arrangement.
So, what do you guys think of being in an arranged marriage?
Would you be open to it?
Tell us in the comments!
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